150 Best Farmer Jokes And Puns: Harvest a Field of Laughter Today

Ready to harvest some laughs? We’re planting a field of fun with the best farmer jokes and puns around! Get ready to plow through some seriously corny humor that’s sure to grow on you.

Whether you’re a seasoned agricultural aficionado or just someone who appreciates a good giggle, these jokes are guaranteed to cultivate a smile.

So, ditch the tractor for a minute and get ready to reap what we sow – a bumper crop of hilarious **farmer jokes and puns**! Let’s get growing!

Best Farmer Jokes And Puns: Harvest a Field of Laughter Today

• Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
• Farmer: “I’m looking for a good farmhand.” Applicant: “I’m your man. I’m so good, the crops practically jump into the truck!” Farmer: “Hired! Now, let’s see if you can jump-start this tractor.”
• A farmer walks into a bank and asks for a loan. The loan officer asks what he needs the money for. The farmer says, “I want to buy a combine.” The loan officer asks, “What are you going to combine?” The farmer replies, “My assets and my debts.”
• What do you call a farmer who’s also a DJ? A crop-hopper!
• I told my wife I was going to start farming. She said, “Where?” I said, “On Instagram, darling, on Instagram.”
• Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing! (Farmer grows tomatoes & salad)
• My dad tried to make a joke about fertilizer, but it just didn’t manure to go anywhere.
• Two farmers are arguing. One yells, “You’re nothing but a cornball!” The other retorts, “Well, you’re a hayseed!”
• I used to hate being a farmer, but then I grew to like it.
• What do you call a cow that can’t produce milk? An udder failure. (Farmer raises cows)
• Why don’t farmers gamble? Too much is at steak!
• Hear about the farmer who lost his tractor? He was tract-less.
• A scarecrow says, “Being outstanding in my field is hard work, but hay, it’s in my jeans!”
• I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down… unless you’re a farmer with crops to get in before the rain.
• A farmer is milking his cow when it suddenly says, “Don’t pull so hard, you’re milking it!” The farmer is shocked. He runs home and tells his wife. She says, “You’re pulling my leg!” Then the leg fell off. (It was a scarecrow’s leg she used to replace her own).

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Hay There: The Best Farmer Jokes to Harvest Some Laughs

Need a good chuckle? Dive into “Hay There,” a collection overflowing with corny farmer jokes and puns! It’s the perfect harvest of humor, guaranteed to plow you over with laughter. Whether you’re a seasoned agriculturalist or just enjoy a good giggle, this book will have you saying “holy cow,” these…

• I tried to start a landscaping business, but I kept mulching things over.
• Why did the farmer name his pigs Ink and Ink? Because he liked pen raising.
• I just invested in a manure removal company; business is picking up.
• My neighbor told me I have a really bad green thumb, I think he’s just jealous of my black bean crop.
• What do you call a farmer who is also a computer expert? A crop duster.
• A farmer is outstanding in his field and was given an award; he said that was very a-maize-ing.
• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity, it’s impossible to put down, but I need to get back to the farm.
• A scarecrow walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bartender asks, “Hey, you look a little straw-struck.”
• Two farmers meet and one says, “My cow gives condensed milk.” The other says, “That’s nothing, my chickens lay hard-boiled eggs.”
• What’s a farmer’s favorite website? Farmville.
• I bought a self-driving tractor; I’m hoping it will help me turn over a new leaf.
• What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry.
• A farmer had a prize-winning cow, but it suddenly stopped giving milk; it was udderly disappointing.
• I’m thinking of opening a farm-to-table restaurant, but I can’t decide if I should serve crow.
• Why did the farmer get a loan? Because he needed to plow through some expenses.

Corn-y Humor: Farmer Jokes for Kids That Are A-maize-ing

Get ready for giggles with “Corn-y Humor”! This book is packed with farmer jokes and puns guaranteed to have kids rolling in the hay. From silly scarecrows to pun-tastic produce, these A-maize-ing jokes will cultivate laughter and bring sunshine to any day. It’s the perfect harvest of humor for young…

• What did the sweet corn say to its parents? “I think I have a stalker!”
• I tried to explain the concept of crop rotation to my toddler, but it went over their head; they’re still green in the field.
• Why did the farmer name his chicken Benedict? Because he liked eggs for breakfast.
• Did you hear about the farmer who invented a tractor beam? It really pulled him out of a rut.
• My scarecrow asked for a raise, I told him he was outstanding in his field, but he’s still a little corny.
• What do you call a farmer who loves to sing? A crooner.
• Why was the field so good at baseball? Because it always had a good diamond.
• I’m writing a book about a lazy farmer, I’m only on chapter one, I keep putting it off till later.
• My neighbor’s cow got loose and broke into my garden; I told him he owes me some “udder” compensation.
• What do you call a farmer who’s also a detective? Sherlock Holmes-teader.
• Why did the farmer go to therapy? He felt like he was losing his crops.
• Two farmer best friends bought tractors together, now they’re inseparable, you could say they are “well-oiled” friends.
• I told my crops to have a good day; now they’re outstanding in their field.
• What did the farmer name his pigs? Bacon and Eggs.
• Why don’t secrets stay on the farm? Because the corn has ears and the potatoes have eyes.

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From Our Farm to Your Feed: Hilarious Farmer Jokes & Social Media Captions

Need a good laugh? “From Our Farm to Your Feed” is your go-to guide for hilarious farmer jokes and clever social media captions! Ditch the corniness (unless it’s intentional!) and cultivate some serious chuckles. Perfect for farmers wanting to boost their online presence or anyone who appreciates a good, down-to-earth…

• I’m reading a book on the history of tractors; it’s an auto-biography.
• Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
• I tried to make small talk with my crops, but it was all just corny conversation.
• My therapist suggested I embrace my inner farmer; I’m now outstanding in my field of neuroses.
• I bought a chicken that can count its own eggs; it’s a real mathemachicken.
• What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry who needs a hug!
• My scarecrow is going through an existential crisis; he says he’s just straw-manning arguments.
• Why did the farmer cross the playground? To get to the see-saw.
• I’m trying a new fertilizer made of old tires; I hope it gives my crops a good year.
• The life of a farmer is simple; wake up, plow, sleep, repeat. It’s a vicious cycle.
• Why did the farmer become a motivational speaker? He knew how to cultivate success.
• My crops are so advanced, they’re practically self-sufficient; I guess you could say they’re out standing in their field.
• I asked my vegetables if they wanted to go for a run; they said they would rather beet it.
• I tried to teach my cow algebra, but she just kept mooving the decimal point around.
• My scarecrow ran off with a broom; I guess you could say he swept her off her feet.

Cultivating Comedy: Farmer Jokes That Will Grow on You

Ever feel a-maized by the simplicity of farm life? “Cultivating Comedy” harvests the freshest farmer jokes and puns. From silly sheep to corny crops, these jokes are guaranteed to grow on you. They’re the perfect fertilizer for laughter, turning any frown upside down. Get ready to reap what you sow……

• I tried to start a dating app for farmers called “Match Hay-ven,” but it didn’t get off the ground.
• A farmer walks into a library and asks for books about tractors; the librarian says, “Fiction or non-fiction?”
• My farmer friend is so good at growing crops, he could probably grow money on trees if he wanted to.
• I asked the farmer if he had any spare thyme; he said, “I’ve got all the thyme in the world!”
• Why did the farmer refuse to play cards? He was afraid of getting fleeced.
• I saw a scarecrow win an award for being the most supportive; he was always there to lend a hand.
• I went to a farm-themed restaurant, but the service was terrible; I guess you could say it was un-beet-able.
• Heard about the farmer who became a stand-up comedian? His jokes were a little corny, but the audience loved him.
• My neighbor tried to sell me a field, but I told him I didn’t have enough cents to buy it.
• The farmer said his new GPS system was amazing; it could find a needle in a haystack, or at least point you in the general direction.
• I’m reading a book about a farmer who travels through time; it’s a real crop circle of confusion.
• The stressed-out farmer decided to try yoga; now he’s outstanding in his field of relaxation.
• The farmer’s market was so successful, they had to start rationing compliments.
• My farmer friend is writing a book about his life; it’s a real page-turner, full of twists and plows.
• I told the farmer his new invention was revolutionary; he said, “It’s just my way of turning over a new leaf.”

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Down on the Funny Farm: Adult Farmer Jokes for a Good Ol’ Time

Looking for a bushel of laughs? “Down on the Funny Farm” delivers adult farmer jokes perfect for unwinding after a long day. This collection offers a side-splitting twist on classic farmer humor. Expect puns, wordplay, and stories that’ll have you chuckling ’til the cows come home, proving farming’s not just…

• My farmer friend tried to crossbreed a cow and a calculator, he wanted to see if he could make a mental moo-chine.
• I asked the farmer if he believed in life after death, he said, “Sure, I’ve replanted crops every spring!”
• Why did the farmer divorce his wife? She kept harping on his misteaks!
• My doctor said I needed to slow down, so I bought a herd of snails to start a snail farm.
• I tried to start a farm-to-table dating service, but it turns out most people prefer their vegetables pre-washed.
• The farmer decided to become a motivational speaker, his catchphrase was, “Don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty, success is in the soil!”
• I told the farmer his new overalls looked great, he said, “Thanks, they’re my best crop this year!”
• What do you call a farmer who doesn’t use pesticides? Organic with his methods.
• My doctor said I need to reduce my sodium intake, so I’m switching to a salt-free farm.
• I asked the farmer why he was so calm, he said, “I’ve learned to cultivate inner peas.”
• Why did the farmer start a band? Because he had a lot of beets.
• My therapist suggested I try farming to connect with nature; I ended up just yelling at the weeds.
• A farmer walks into a bank and asks for a loan to buy a new tractor. The banker asks, “What’s your collateral?” The farmer replies, “My crop of dad jokes.”
• I’m not saying my farm is inefficient, but my scarecrow has started unionizing for better working conditions.
• Why did the farmer start a podcast? He wanted to share his field-osophy with the world.

E-I-E-I-LOL: The Funniest Farmer Jokes Online

Need a good chuckle? “E-I-E-I-LOL” harvests the freshest farmer jokes and puns the internet has to offer! From witty wordplay about crops to silly situations on the farm, this collection guarantees a bumper crop of laughs. Get ready to plow through hilarious content perfect for sharing with fellow farming enthusiasts.

• My farmer friend is so indecisive; he’s always on the fence about which crop to plant next.
• A farmer walks into a bank and says, “I need a loan to buy some chickens.” The banker says, “What kind of collateral do you have?” The farmer replies, “I’ll give you my word. I’m poultry-reliable.”
• Why did the farmer bring a ladder to the barn? Because he heard the roof was raising the steaks.
• What do you call a farmer who’s lost his sense of humor? Disgruntled.
• I tried to start a farm-to-table restaurant, but I couldn’t get the vegetables to sit still at the tables.
• A farmer is sitting in his field when a UFO lands; aliens emerge and ask, “Take us to your leader!” The farmer replies, “I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure he’s got a comb-over and a Twitter account.”
• What do you call a farmer who is also a mime? A silent but deadly crop-duster.
• A farmer is showing off his farm to a visitor. “See those cows?” he says. “They make the best milk in the county.” “And what about those chickens?” the visitor asks. “They lay golden eggs!” the farmer replies. “Wow!” the visitor exclaims. “You must be rich!” The farmer sighs. “Not really. The cows are on strike, and the chickens are unionized.”
• I tried to convince my neighbor to start a farm-themed dating app, but he said it would just be a field of broken hearts.
• Why did the farmer install solar panels on his barn? He wanted to harness the sun’s power to make hay while the sun shines, literally.
• What do you call a farmer who’s afraid of heights? Agoraphobic.
• A farmer is trying to sell his produce at the market: “Come one, come all! Get your fresh vegetables here! Guaranteed to be pesticide-free and full of nutritious goodness!” A customer approaches and asks, “How do you know they’re pesticide-free?” The farmer replies, “Because I can’t afford pesticides.”
• What’s a farmer’s favorite type of puzzle? A cross-crop puzzle.
• My crops are doing so well this year, I’m thinking of opening a farm-themed spa; we’ll offer mud baths, seaweed wraps, and cucumber eye treatments, it will be a-maize-ing.
• A farmer’s wife asks, “Honey, did you fertilize the tomatoes like I asked?” The farmer replies, “I sure did! I even gave them a little pep talk, told them to grow big and strong!”

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Tractor-Sized Giggles: Farmer Jokes & Puns About Farm Equipment

Ready to cultivate some laughs? “Tractor-Sized Giggles” digs deep into the fertile ground of farm equipment humor. From combine puns that’ll harvest chuckles to witty tractor tales, this collection celebrates the machinery that makes farming possible. Prepare for jokes so corny, they’re practically growing on stalks!

• I tried to program my new combine harvester with AI, but it just kept writing country songs about dirt roads and lost loves.
• Why did the farmer bring a ladder to the tractor pull? He wanted to raise the stakes!
• My tractor’s been feeling down lately; I think it’s suffering from a bout of mechanical melancholy.
• What do you call a tractor that’s always telling stories? A farm narrator!
• I told my tractor it needed to work harder. It replied, “I’m already giving it my all-wheel drive!”
• Heard about the new self-driving tractor? It’s great until it develops a mind of its own and starts planting kale everywhere.
• I tried to trade my old tractor for a sports car, but the dealer said it wasn’t a ‘tractorable’ offer.
• My neighbor’s tractor is so smart, it can practically diagnose its own problems; it’s a real ‘agri-cultural’ genius.
• Why did the scarecrow buy a tractor? He wanted to be more outstanding in his field, and a little less stationary.
• What do you call a tractor with a stutter? A trac-trac-tractor!
• I tried to teach my tractor to dance, but it only knew how to do the ‘plow-motion’.
• My tractor’s been feeling insecure lately; it says it’s not cut out for this line of work.
• What’s a farmer’s favorite type of music to listen to while driving his tractor? Heavy metal!
• The farmer named his new tractor “Optimus Prime”; he said it was the only one that could transform his fields.
• Why did the tractor break up with the plow? There was just no traction in their relationship.

Out Standing in Their Field: Farmer Jokes That Are Simply the Best

Need a good laugh? “Out Standing in Their Field” isn’t just a clever title, it’s a promise! This collection delivers the best farmer jokes and puns, guaranteed to harvest smiles. From silly sheep to corny crops, prepare for agriculture-themed humor that’s simply a-maize-ing. Perfect for anyone who enjoys a good…

• I tried to convince my cows to practice social distancing, but they keep herd-ing together.
• A farmer is lost in the city and asks a stranger for directions to the nearest farm; the stranger replies, “Just head east until you smell it.”
• What do you call a farmer who can sing, dance, and act? A multi-talented agricultertainer.
• My crops are so successful this year, I’m thinking of starting a farm-to-fashion line; we’ll call it “Haute Couture-n.”
• Why did the farmer get a therapist? He had too many emotional weeds to pull.
• I told my students I was going to teach them about the food chain. They said, “Can we start with dessert?”
• Why did the farmer bring his GPS to the barn dance? He didn’t want to get lost in the hay maze.
• I tried to explain the concept of ‘supply and demand’ to my chickens; they just laid more eggs.
• Why did the farmer name his two dogs “Rake” and “Hoe?” Because they helped him garden.
• My new scarecrow is a minimalist; he only wears the bare necessities.
• I tried to start a farm-themed dating site; it was a total crop failure.
• Why did the teacher bring a ladder to the farm? She wanted to elevate her students’ understanding of agriculture.
• I am a farmer because I am good at growing crops, however, I am also good at planting seeds of knowledge in students.
• What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? “Well, that’s the last straw.”
• My cows and I have a very symbiotic relationship; they provide the milk, and I provide the mooves.