150 Best Astronaut Jokes and Puns That Are Out of This World

Ready for a laugh that’s out of this world? We’re launching into a hilarious orbit with the best astronaut jokes and puns you’ve ever seen. Prepare for liftoff – your funny bone is about to experience some serious G-force!

Whether you’re a space enthusiast or just love a good chuckle, get ready to explore a galaxy of giggles. These astronaut jokes and puns are guaranteed to lighten your mood and might even be clever enough to make Neil Armstrong smile.

So, buckle up, buttercup! Let’s dive into the cosmos of comedy and discover the humor hidden among the stars.

Best Astronaut Jokes and Puns That Are Out of This World

• Why did the astronaut break up with the moon? He needed some space.
• Astronaut: Houston, we have a problem. I’m addicted to space puns.
• Houston: Roger that. We understand you’re over the moon for them.
• What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a sandwich? The launch meat.
• NASA called, they said I’m cleared for launch… straight to the couch. Mission: Relaxation.
• I tried to explain astrophysics to my cat. He just stared blankly. I guess it went over his head, like a low-flying comet.
• Two astronauts are arguing in space. One says, “I’m right!” The other replies, “How can you be so sure? We’re floating in a vacuum. Nobody can hear you scream…or be wrong.”
• Why did the astronaut get a ticket? He was caught mooning.
• What do you call an astronaut with a green thumb? A space gardener.
• An astronaut walks into a bar on Mars. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve your kind.” The astronaut replies, “But I’m here for a quick shot!”
• Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet…kind of like Earth and a distant galaxy.
• I told my wife I wanted to be an astronaut. She said, “Don’t be silly, you’re not made of the right stuff.” I think she meant Tang.
• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down! (Especially in orbit)
• What’s an astronaut’s favorite type of music? Neptunes.
• Heard about the restaurant on the moon? I heard the food was good, but it had no atmosphere.

See Also – Hilarious Fashion Designer Jokes That Will Have You in Stitches

Astronaut Jokes: One-Liners That Are Out of This World

Need a laugh that’s truly stratospheric? “Astronaut Jokes: One-Liners That Are Out of This World” blasts off with puns about zero gravity, space travel, and everything cosmic. Perfect for science enthusiasts or anyone craving lighthearted humor, this collection promises to launch your funny bone into orbit. Get ready for jokes…

• What do you call an astronaut with a poor sense of direction? Lost in space… again.
• NASA called, and they need me to return the moon rocks, apparently, I can’t keep them as souvenirs.
• Astronauts are terrible at poker; they always fold under pressure, especially when the stakes are high.
• I tried to write a song about space travel, but it didn’t have the right atmosphere; I need to find a way to make it more melodic.
• I’m not saying I’m ready to be an astronaut, but I did successfully microwave a burrito for exactly one minute without burning it.
• What do you call an astronaut who’s a master of disguise? A stellar chameleon, blending into any planetary landscape.
• I told my wife I was going to dress up as an astronaut for Halloween, she said I already do that every time I wear my pajamas.
• Why did the astronaut bring a ladder to space? He heard the job required reaching new heights in science.
• My superpower is being able to pack for a trip to Mars in under an hour, just don’t ask me to fold the laundry.
• What’s an astronaut’s favorite kind of party? A satellite gathering, where everyone is orbiting around the fun.
• I’m thinking of starting a dating app for astronauts, but I’m worried it won’t take off; I guess love is a rocket science.
• Why did the astronaut break up with the black hole? He felt like she was always sucking the fun out of everything.
• I just saw a sign outside a barber shop: “Astronaut haircuts, gravity defying styles”.
• What’s an astronaut’s favorite breakfast cereal? Moon Chex, for a balanced breakfast that’s out of this world.
• I’m trying to explain the concept of a wormhole to my cat, but he just keeps chasing the red dot; some things are just impossible to grasp.

Astronaut Puns for Kids: Space-Themed Giggles Guaranteed

Blast off into laughter with “Astronaut Puns for Kids”! This collection guarantees out-of-this-world giggles. From orbiting around silly wordplay to exploring lunar-tic jokes, your young astronauts will be over the moon. Get ready for a stellar time filled with space-themed puns that are simply cosmic!

• Why did the astronaut break up with the Earth? She said he needed more space and less gravity in the relationship.
• Meme: An astronaut floating in space holding a sign that reads, “Will work for moon rocks.”
• What do you call an astronaut who’s a master of disguise? A stellar chameleon, blending into any planetary landscape.
• Astronauts are terrible at keeping secrets because what goes up must come down, including confidential information.
• I asked my astronaut friend if he was afraid of heights; he said, “Nah, I’m over it.”
• Meme: Astronaut on the moon struggling to assemble IKEA furniture. Caption: “Even in space, you can’t escape flat-pack furniture.”
• What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a joke? The launch line!
• Heard about the astronaut who opened a bakery on Mars? The cakes were out of this world, but the atmosphere was a little dry.
• An astronaut’s dating profile: Seeking someone who enjoys cosmic adventures, can handle zero-gravity cuddles, and doesn’t mind sharing my oxygen tank.
• Why did the astronaut bring a broom to space? He heard it needed a good sweeping.
• What do astronauts drink? Gravi-tea!
• Meme: Astronaut floating in space giving a thumbs up. Caption: “Just had a stellar day. No Earth-shattering news to report.”
• Why are astronauts bad at poker? They always fold under pressure, especially when the stakes are high and the oxygen is low.
• The astronaut was so good at gardening; his flowers were out of this world, growing in zero gravity.
• What did the astronaut say to the alien? “Take me to your crater!”

See Also – Hilarious Bodybuilder Jokes and Puns for a Good Laugh

Adult Astronaut Humor: Jokes That Are Light Years Ahead

Explore the cosmos of comedy with astronaut jokes that are light years ahead! This isn’t your everyday space humor. We’re talking about adult astronaut humor: witty puns, clever wordplay, and observational jokes that only seasoned space travelers (or those who wish they were) will truly appreciate. Get ready for some…

• What do you call an astronaut who’s a bad liar? A space cadet who can’t keep his story straight, always orbiting around the truth.
• I tried to write a song about an astronaut’s love life, but it was too full of space and distance to make it heartfelt.
• Why was the astronaut such a bad comedian? His jokes never seemed to land, always floating around without a punchline.
• Astronaut’s dating profile: Seeking someone who appreciates a cosmic connection, enjoys zero-gravity cuddles, and doesn’t mind my occasional need for space.
• I’m writing a screenplay about an astronaut who solves mysteries on the moon; it’s a real lunar whodunit.
• Why did the astronaut break up with the Earth? She said he needed more space and less gravity in the relationship.
• NASA called, they said I’m cleared for launch… straight to the couch; mission: relaxation and zero-gravity snacks.
• Two astronauts are arguing in space. One says, “I’m right!” The other replies, “How can you be so sure? We’re floating in a vacuum, nobody can hear you be wrong.”
• What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a joke? The launch line, it sets the stage for a universe of laughter and good times.
• Why did the astronaut get a ticket? He was caught mooning, and his antics were deemed out of this world and unbecoming.
• What do you call an astronaut who’s also a stand-up comedian? A cosmic jokester whose humor is out of this world, always orbiting punchlines.
• Why did the astronaut bring a broom to space? He heard it needed a good sweeping, and he wanted to keep the lunar surface tidy.
• Astronaut: Houston, we have a problem. I’m addicted to space puns, and there’s no gravity in my jokes; over and out.
• My new favorite police movie is the constabulary diaries, the action is arresting, especially the scenes in space.
• **Meme:** A picture of an astronaut struggling to open a jar of pickles in space. Caption: “The real reason we haven’t found aliens yet: They saw this and noped out.”

Astronaut Jokes and Puns: Perfect Captions for Your Space Pics

Blast off your social media with astronaut jokes and puns! Are your space pics lacking that certain something? Launch into laughter with clever captions guaranteed to orbit your followers. From moonwalking mishaps to stellar puns, we’ve got the perfect cosmic quips to make your posts truly out of this world.

• I tried to organize a surprise party for my astronaut friend, but he kept spacing out the details.
• What did the astronaut say to the bartender on Mars? “I’ll have a shot…of atmosphere, please!”
• Why are astronauts so tidy? They don’t like leaving any space unturned.
• I’m an astronaut who loves to garden, I have an out-of-this-world green thumb.
• NASA’s new weight loss program is amazing; I’ve already lost 10 lbs, but I’m having a hard time staying grounded.
• Dating an astronaut is tough; you never know when they’ll need some space.
• I told my wife I wanted to be an astronaut; she said, “Don’t be silly, you’re not made of the right stuff… and you’d never take out the trash.”
• Why did the astronaut break up with the satellite? He said she was too clingy, always orbiting around him.
• Astronauts have trust issues; they think everyone is a planet in their orbit.
• What’s an astronaut’s favorite room in the house? The living room… because it has satellite TV.
• I’m starting a band with a group of astronauts; we’re called “The Moonwalkers,” and we only play covers of Michael Jackson songs.
• What do you call an astronaut who’s a terrible comedian? A cosmic flop, whose jokes never seem to land, always floating around without a punchline.
• The astronaut said he was feeling down, so I gave him a moon pie…to lift his spirits.
• Why did the astronaut refuse to play poker? He was afraid of folding under pressure and losing all his space bucks.
• I tried to start a space-themed restaurant, but it was too expensive to launch; I guess the business plan didn’t have enough atmosphere.

See Also – Top 150 Hilarious Coach Jokes and Puns for Endless Laughter

Punny Astronaut Names: A Cosmic Collection of Funny Aliases

Blast off with laughter! “Punny Astronaut Names” is your guide to a universe of hilarious aliases for space travelers. Get ready for cosmic giggles as we explore a galaxy of astronaut jokes and puns. It’s out-of-this-world fun, perfect for sharing a lighthearted moment and adding some stellar humor to your…

• Why did the astronaut go to the library? He heard there were some great space novels to get lost in.
• Astronaut: “Houston, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is I found life on Mars!” Houston: “What’s the bad news?” Astronaut: “It’s just a colony of space ants.”
• I tried to launch a career as an astronaut comedian, but my jokes just didn’t land.
• What do you call an astronaut who is a master baker? A stellar chef, with recipes that are truly out of this world.
• Why did the astronaut break up with the telescope? He said he needed some space from their long-distance relationship.
• I’m writing a book about an astronaut who always gets lost. Working title: “Adrift and Confused in the Milky Way.”
• Why did the astronaut bring a map to space? He didn’t want to planet.
• What’s an astronaut’s favorite kind of sandwich? A sub-orbital.
• Astronauts are terrible secret keepers; they always have to space out the details.
• I told my wife I wanted to be an astronaut. She said, “You can barely find the car keys, how will you find the moon?”
• Why are astronauts so calm? They have inner space.
• What do you call an astronaut with a fear of heights? A grounded explorer.
• I tried to make a space-themed cake, but it was too dry; I guess it needed more atmosphere and less baking soda.
• Why did the astronaut get a parking ticket on the moon? He didn’t have enough space.
• Houston, we have a problem: I’m running out of space for all these space puns.

Astronaut Jokes Gone Viral: The Funniest Tweets and Memes

Astronaut jokes are taking off! Explore the internet’s orbit of hilarity with “Astronaut Jokes Gone Viral.” This collection highlights the funniest astronaut-themed tweets and memes, proving that space humor is truly universal. Get ready for puns that are out of this world and gags that will launch you into laughter….

• Why did the astronaut bring a map to space? He didn’t want to planet.
• What do you call a lazy kangaroo that is also a musician? Pouch Potato Head the drummer.
• An astronaut walks into a bar on Mars. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve your kind.” The astronaut replies, “But I’m here for a quick shot!”
• Why was the new restaurant opening delayed for so long? Because the chef was having a difficult thyme getting everything ready.
• My new song about silence is climbing the charts, it is called ‘4’34 seconds of pure bliss’.
• I’m thinking of opening a music school for vegetables, I will call it “The Salad Bowl Conservatory”.
• Why did the judge bring a lemon to court? He heard the case was going to be sour.
• Grading papers is my cardio; I burn so many calories shaking my head in disbelief.
• What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta-r. Also, a musician pretending to know music theory.
• My new photography series is all about capturing the beauty of decaying objects; I call it “Rotten to the Core-tography.”
• Why did the teacher become a pirate? They heard there was treasure buried in the textbooks.
• I asked my wife I was going to dress up as a police officer for Halloween; she said, “You already do that every time you tell the kids to clean their rooms.”
• Image: A sheet of music with a coffee stain covering half the notes. Caption: “When you’re trying to sight-read, but caffeine is your only motivation.”
• I tried to make a reservation at a restaurant that only serves food shaped like kitchen utensils, but they said they were all booked; I guess I missed the serving spoon.
• My therapist told me to embrace my inner lawyer; now I argue with my reflection about who gets to use the bathroom first.

See Also – Top 150 Hilarious Referee Jokes and Puns That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud

Astronaut Puns: Short and Sweet Space Jokes

Looking for a quick laugh that’s out of this world? “Astronaut Puns: Short and Sweet Space Jokes” delivers bite-sized humor perfect for any stargazer. From clever wordplay about planets to witty astronaut one-liners, this collection is guaranteed to launch your spirits into orbit. Get ready for some stellar chuckles!

• What do you call a sad astronaut? A melanchronaut feeling blue among the stars.
• Why did the astronaut break up with the alien? He needed some space, and she was too clingy, always orbiting around him.
• I’m dating an astronaut, but it’s getting serious; I think he wants to put a ring on Saturn.
• NASA just hired a detective, they are looking for someone who can solve cold cases in space.
• I tried to organize a surprise party for my astronaut friend, but he kept spacing out the details.
• What does an astronaut use to style their hair? A comet comb for stellar looks.
• Why don’t you ever see an astronaut with messy hair? They always use space helmets.
• Heard about the astronaut who became a chef? His cuisine was out of this world.
• I am writing a book about an astronaut who is also a musician, it is going to be a smash hit.
• I asked an astronaut about his favorite planet, he said it was Uranus, I thought that was a bit cheeky.
• Did you hear about the astronaut who couldn’t stop making space puns? He was a real stellar comedian.
• Two planets are talking in space, one says, “I think I am going to crash” and the other planet says, “I see your point”.
• Why did the astronaut go to the bank? He heard that the interest rates were out of this world.
• What is an astronaut’s favorite thing to wear? A space suit, because it is always in style.
• Why don’t astronauts do well in school? They are always spacing out, and they just don’t have the atmosphere for it.

Cosmic Comedy: The Best Astronaut Jokes for Every Occasion

Need a stellar icebreaker? “Cosmic Comedy” is your guide to astronaut jokes and puns! This collection blasts off with humor perfect for any space-themed event. From rocket-launch roasts to planetary puns, it’s guaranteed to orbit your audience with laughter. Get ready for out-of-this-world fun!

• Astronauts are known for their space exploration, but I just explore the space between the fridge and the couch.
• Why did the astronaut bring a map to space? He didn’t want to planet alone.
• I am writing a book about a famous astronaut who was also a lawyer; it’s a real space case.
• NASA’s new employee wellness program offers “out-of-body” experiences, but it’s just mandatory yoga.
• I have a fear of elevators; it’s a real ascending problem, I mean what if I become an astronaut?
• What do you call an astronaut who’s always lost? Roamin’ in the cosmos.
• I tried to convince my cat to become an astronaut, but he said he preferred to stay grounded and chase laser pointers.
• I told my wife I wanted to be an astronaut; she said I should start by taking out the trash.
• If astronauts get stomachaches in space, do they call it an asteroid belt?
• Why do astronauts make terrible comedians? Because their jokes never seem to land, but I always find them out of this world.
• An astronaut walks into a restaurant with a pet alien. The waiter says, “Sorry, we don’t serve aliens.” The astronaut replies, “That’s okay, he can eat the atmosphere.”
• I tried to explain the concept of a black hole to my dog, but he just stared at me blankly; some things are just impossible to grasp, even for a rocket scientist.
• I’m starting a new business selling astronaut ice cream; it’s a real freeze-dried success, and the profits are sky-high.
• I asked my therapist if I could become an astronaut; she said I had to planet first.
• I’m not saying I’m ready to be an astronaut, but I did successfully assemble IKEA furniture in record time, talk about problem-solving.