150 Best Delivery Driver Jokes Fueling Laughter on Every Route

Ever wondered what delivery drivers really think while navigating rush hour and grumpy customers? Probably something hilarious!

Get ready to laugh out loud with our ultimate collection of delivery driver jokes and puns. We’ve compiled the funniest one-liners and clever wordplay that perfectly capture the ups and downs of life on the road.

Whether you’re a delivery driver yourself or just appreciate a good dose of humor, prepare for some seriously relatable and side-splitting jokes!

Best Delivery Driver Jokes Fueling Laughter on Every Route

• Why did the delivery driver break up with the pizza? He said she was too cheesy and always wanted to be delivered.
• Delivery driver: “I have your package.” Me: “Great! Just leave it behind the oak tree.” Delivery driver: “I don’t see an oak tree.” Me: “Exactly.”
• Heard about the delivery driver who became a motivational speaker? His key message was always “Deliver your dreams!”
• My therapist told me to embrace my mistakes. So, I’m becoming a delivery driver.
• I’m not saying my delivery driver is slow, but his GPS asked him if he was lost.
• Why did the delivery driver bring a ladder to work? He wanted to reach new heights in customer service!
• I tried to write a joke about a delivery driver, but it was too long and winding. Just like their routes.
• What do you call a delivery driver who’s also a pirate? Package Pete!
• My delivery driver said, “I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news is your package is here. The bad news is… it’s empty.”
• I told my delivery driver to have a good one. He said, “I’m doing my best. This traffic is making me deliver-ious!”
• A delivery driver’s favorite game? Package hide-and-seek. (Spoiler: the package always wins).
• Why are delivery drivers so good at math? They know how to calculate the shortest route to your door!
• I saw a delivery driver jogging. I asked him why. He said he was trying to cut down on his “delivery time” around his waistline.
• My delivery driver just left my package. At least I think he did, the note said “Enjoy your delivery! -The Wind”
• What’s a delivery driver’s least favorite song? Return to Sender!

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Delivery Driver Jokes: Guaranteed to Deliver the Laughs!

Need a break from the road? Our collection of delivery driver jokes and puns is guaranteed to deliver the laughs! From relatable delivery mishaps to witty plays on words, we’ve got the perfect comedic fuel to power through your next shift. Get ready to chuckle your way to the next…

• I’m a delivery driver. My superpower is finding your house, even when *you* can’t.
• Dating a delivery driver means always eating out, but never leaving your couch.
• Why did the delivery driver break up with the package? He said she was too clingy.
• My delivery truck’s navigation system is a real comedian; it always takes the scenic route, even when I’m late.
• My delivery driver job is so easy. I just ring the doorbell, say “Who’s there?” and they shout “It’s me, with your food!”
• Why did the delivery driver start a YouTube channel? He wanted to share his driving passion for delivering exceptional service.
• I am not saying I’m a bad delivery driver, but passengers often get out and just start walking to their destination instead.
• If you see me running, please note that I’m not training for a marathon, I’m just trying to make a living before the kitchen closes.
• I’m thinking of writing a self-help book for delivery drivers: “From Doorstep to Dreams: A Guide to Surviving the Delivery Haul Without Losing Your Mind.”
• That delivery driver said he was going to open a new restaurant, but it’s a secret; I guess we’ll have to wait and see what he’s cooking up.
• My delivery driver dating profile: “Seeking someone who appreciates a fast-paced lifestyle, and doesn’t mind the smell of gasoline.”
• I told my delivery driver that he was always my hero; he said, “I’m just trying to get you your food hot.”
• My greatest fear as a delivery driver is that one day, I will accidentally deliver the wrong package to the wrong person, and I’m afraid of the consequences.
• I tried to explain to my toddler the wonders of driving, but he just wasn’t ready for that kind of revolution, and I was making him sleepy.
• My new favorite delivery driver movie is the “Constabulary Wheels”, the action is revolving, and the storyline is great, and it has a lot of explosions.

Delivery Driver Puns: Fueling Your Humor with Fast Food Fun

Craving a laugh? Our collection of delivery driver jokes and puns is guaranteed to deliver! From pizza puns to courier quips, we’ve got a whole menu of humor. Get ready to fuel your funny bone with fast-food fun and relatable delivery driver tales that are sure to be a hit!

• I’m not saying I’m the best delivery driver, but I can navigate your apartment complex faster than I can navigate my own emotions.
• Why did the delivery driver start a band? Because he wanted to deliver some tunes and have a rockin’ good time.
• A delivery driver’s greatest fear is having to deliver to an apartment building and not being able to find the door with the correct number.
• That delivery driver’s greatest skill is the ability to get your food to you hot and fresh, no matter what obstacles he has to face along the way.
• I tried to explain to my toddler that a delivery driver is a real person, not just an app on my phone, but it went straight over their head.
• Two delivery drivers were on a date, the female driver asked the male driver, “What do you like about me?”. The male driver responds, “I like your ability to read maps, and your driving skills”.
• I told my delivery driver he needed to be more positive; he replied, “I’m trying, but my job is driving me crazy, and I need a vacation”.
• My delivery driver dating profile says: Seeking someone who appreciates hard work, doesn’t mind a little grease, and is ready to go on adventures to new restaurants.
• That delivery driver is so good, he can deliver your food to you on time, even during rush hour, he has a real knack for transportation.
• Why did the delivery driver break up with the GPS? He said she was too controlling, always telling him where to go, and he needed some independence.
• That delivery driver has a real knack for finding the quickest routes, even if it means going through back alleys and residential neighborhoods.
• What do you call a delivery driver who’s also a skilled artist? A creative courier, bringing masterpieces to your door with every delivery.
• Caution: Delivery driver on board with a serious case of road rage and a questionable sense of direction, so tip him well!
• I am a delivery driver, which means I solve problems you didn’t know you had, in ways you don’t understand, with a smile and a positive attitude.
• My new favorite delivery driver movie is “The Constabulary Wheels”, the action is revolving, and the soundtrack is great, and I highly recommend it.

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Online Delivery Driver Jokes: Memes and Giggles for the Digital Road

Ever wondered what fuels the tireless journey of online delivery drivers? Laughter! “Online Delivery Driver Jokes” dives into the world of relatable memes and hilarious giggles born from the digital road. It celebrates the humor found amidst navigation fails, quirky customer requests, and the universal struggle against hangry customers.

• I am a delivery driver, so I know that the fastest way to a person’s heart is through the stomach, especially if it involves pizza.
• My delivery truck has GPS, but it still argues with me about shortcuts like my mother-in-law, and she is a lovely woman.
• What do you call a delivery driver who can’t make up his mind? Indecisive, he can never make up his mind.
• I’m thinking of starting a new delivery business specializing in delivering only fortune cookies; it’s a risky venture, but I’m hoping for a fortune.
• A delivery driver’s greatest fear is delivering a package to the wrong address, especially if it’s something embarrassing or illegal.
• I tried to explain the concept of delivery fees to my cat, but he just stared blankly at me; I guess some things are just impossible to grasp, even for a genius cat.
• “I’m not saying I’m the best delivery driver, but I can parallel park a 40-foot truck, and can still make it to your door on time.”
• What’s a delivery driver’s favorite movie genre? Anything with a good chase scene and a high-speed pursuit, it inspires me.
• Why did the delivery driver start a band? Because he wanted to deliver some tunes and have a rockin’ good time while delivering his packages.
• Two delivery drivers are having a fight; it was a real breakdown of communication, and they both needed to take a step back and assess the situation.
• Image: A delivery driver wearing a superhero cape. Caption: “Delivering justice, one package at a time, and making sure to not be late.”
• An old delivery driver never dies, they just get re-routed to the great beyond, with a map and a mission.
• What’s a delivery driver’s favorite type of social media? Insta-cart, where they can share pictures of their latest deliveries and the scenic routes they take.
• My therapist suggested I try a new hobby to relieve stress, so I started delivering packages to random addresses and running away.
• What do you call a delivery driver who’s always on time? A punctual porter, always delivering with speed and precision.

Family Friendly Delivery Driver Jokes: Clean Comedy on the Go

Need a laugh on the road? “Family Friendly Delivery Driver Jokes: Clean Comedy on the Go” is your perfect companion! This collection serves up wholesome humor, free from anything inappropriate, ensuring smiles for everyone. Brighten your deliveries and share a chuckle with customers. It’s clean, clever, and guaranteed to lighten…

• I deliver packages for a living; I’m like Santa, but instead of toys, I bring you that impulse buy you don’t really need, but you wanted it.
• Why did the delivery driver make a terrible detective? He could never find the package, and he always seemed to get lost on the way to the crime scene.
• Heard about the new delivery driver dating app? It’s called ‘Route to the Heart’, where you can find someone to share your scenic drives and truck stop meals.
• The delivery driver said he was going to open a new restaurant, but it’s a secret; I guess we’ll have to wait and see what he’s cooking up, and what kind of delivery service he will have.
• A delivery driver, a robot, and a drone are on a sinking boat; who gets saved first? The world, because someone needs to deliver the essential packages.
• I told my delivery driver that he was always my hero; he said, “I’m just here to get your package to you on time, and not get a flat tire.”
• My new favorite delivery driver movie is “The Constabulary Wheels,” the action is revolving, and the soundtrack is great, but the characters are always driving in circles.
• What’s the chemical symbol for excitement for a delivery driver? Hauling!
• Why was the delivery driver always invited to parties? Because he knew how to bring the goods and drop off the fun, and he was never afraid to show up even when it is in the dark.
• Image of a delivery truck with a flat tire, caption: When you’re trying to make good time, but the road has other plans, and there is nothing you can do.
• Why did the delivery driver get a promotion for solving the case involving the missing alphabet letters? He apprehended the missing ‘U’, and he did it with delivery-like speed.
• Why did the delivery driver decide to specialize in delivering only fortune cookies? He wanted to bring some good fortune to people.
• What do you call a delivery driver who’s afraid of heights? A ground-control specialist, ensuring packages are delivered with care and precision, and a smile.
• That delivery driver’s greatest fear is getting a bad tip, or not getting tipped at all, even when they have to go out of their way to get to the destination.
• I’m thinking of writing a self-help book for delivery drivers: “From Doorstep to Dreams: A Guide to Surviving the Delivery Haul Without Losing Your Mind or Your Packages.”

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Adult Delivery Driver Jokes: Risky Routes and Raucous Laughter

Delivery driver jokes walk a fine line, right? “Adult” ones push boundaries with risky routes, late-night deliveries, and maybe a few suggestive packages. They’re definitely not for everyone, but when done well, these raucous jokes can deliver huge laughs, even if they’re a little bit naughty.

• I’m a delivery driver, so I’m used to handling packages with care, but I’m not sure I can handle the emotional baggage you’re carrying.
• My delivery truck has a built-in GPS, a self-cleaning interior, and a passenger ejector seat for unruly customers.
• You must be the final destination because you are the only thing I can see.
• Why did the delivery driver get a ticket for speeding? He was trying to make up for lost thyme.
• A delivery driver is like a therapist, they listen to your problems, offer questionable advice, and charge you by the mile.
• My new favorite delivery driver movie is “The Constabulary Wheels”, the action is revolving, and the soundtrack is great, but the characters are always driving in circles.
• I’m not saying I’m the best delivery driver, but I can navigate your apartment complex faster than your pizza gets cold and I will always smile.
• What’s a delivery driver’s favorite pick-up line? “Are you a package? Because I’d love to deliver you to my place.”
• My therapist suggested I try a new hobby to relieve stress, so I started delivering packages to random addresses and running away.
• Why did the delivery driver start a band? Because he wanted to deliver some tunes and have a rockin’ good time, and hopefully deliver a great performance.
• Why did the rookie delivery driver bring a library book to the delivery route? He heard there were some great stories and wanted to entertain himself during the long shifts.
• Trucker’s dating profile: Looking for someone who appreciates long hauls, late-night diner stops, and a co-pilot for life’s journey, and is not afraid of a little grease.
• I’m not saying delivery driving is hard, but I once had to deliver a package to a nudist colony, and it was hard to maintain a professional demeanor.
• I tried to start a truck-themed dating app, but it didn’t take off, I guess you could say it was a long haul, and it was hard to find someone who shared the same interests.
• Just got a new delivery truck with built-in GPS, a self-cleaning interior, and a heated steering wheel; it practically drives itself, but I still have to deal with traffic and rude customers.

Social Media Delivery Driver Jokes: Perfect Captions for Your Food Pics

Craving the perfect caption for your food pics? Combine your love for delicious eats with some delivery driver humor! We’ve got a menu of social media-ready jokes and puns that’ll have your followers laughing. From relatable struggles to clever wordplay, these captions are guaranteed to spice up your food posts…

• Image: A delivery driver looking longingly at a closed restaurant. Caption: “My brain convincing me I need to order food from my own app at 2am.”
• I’m not saying I’m the fastest delivery driver, but I once delivered a pizza before the customer even ordered it.
• Why did the delivery driver become a philosopher? Because he wanted to contemplate the meaning of life, one doorstep at a time.
• Dating a delivery driver is like ordering takeout every night; convenient, satisfying, but eventually takes a toll on your wallet.
• What do you call a delivery driver who’s also a stand-up comedian? A punchline porter, always delivering laughs with every drop-off.
• I’m not saying my delivery route is long, but I’ve seen seasons change twice on the same shift and I have a GPS.
• My delivery truck is my office, my sanctuary, and the reason I know every pothole in this town by name.
• A delivery driver’s favorite pick-up line: “Are you my next delivery? Because you’re looking like a fine package.”
• I tried to start a delivery service for invisible items, but it never materialized, and the customers could not see what they were paying for.
• What’s the difference between a delivery driver and a taxi driver? You only have to pay one of them, but they both need to follow the rules of the road.
• My secret ingredient to a perfect delivery? A dash of speed, a pinch of precision, and a whole lot of caffeine.
• I saw a delivery driver jogging, I asked him why, he replied, “I am trying to cut down on my delivery time, and to stay healthy.”
• “I’m a delivery driver,” he said, “So, I’m used to dealing with people who are hungry, and who are often not very nice, so I have to be very patient.”
• Image: A delivery driver with a GPS attached to their forehead. Caption: “Navigating through life with a delivery mindset.”
• What’s a delivery driver’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good driving beat, as long as it is not distracting.

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Delivery Driver Puns: The Perfect Tip for a Good Mood

Need a mood boost? Delivery driver jokes are right on track! These puns are the perfect tip for a good mood, offering a lighthearted way to appreciate those who bring convenience to our doorsteps. So, next time your food arrives, consider sharing a delivery driver pun—it’s guaranteed to be a…

• I am a delivery driver because I know how to handle packages, and I can make sure to address all your needs.
• Why did the delivery driver get a promotion? Because he always delivered on his promises and went the extra mile to make his customers happy.
• Looking for love? Maybe you should try finding a delivery driver, we have a lot of packages that we can deliver to you.
• As a delivery driver, I have to be careful. It’s a package deal with great risk and great reward.
• I am a delivery driver. My superpower is finding your house, even when you can’t, and avoiding the dog.
• Did you hear about the delivery driver who became a therapist? He was great at helping people unpack their emotional baggage and find inner peace.
• I’m not saying I’m the best delivery driver, but I once delivered a pizza before the customer even ordered it, they said it was before its thyme.
• Why did the delivery driver start a band? Because he wanted to deliver some tunes and have a rockin’ good thyme with his friends.
• You know you’re dating a delivery driver when they start referring to your relationship as “a scheduled stop on the route of life”.
• Why did the rookie delivery driver bring a library book to the delivery route? He heard there were some great stories and wanted to entertain himself during the long shifts.
• I am a delivery driver, and I am always on the route to success, and I am going to make sure that every package gets to the destination on thyme.
• “I’m a delivery driver,” she said, “So, I’m used to dealing with people who are hungry and tired, and I have to be very patient.”
• I got a new delivery truck with built-in GPS, a self-cleaning interior, and a heated steering wheel; it practically drives itself, but I still have to deal with traffic and customers.
• I tried to start a truck-themed dating app, but it didn’t take off, I guess you could say it was a long haul, and the project was a highway to failure.
• My delivery truck has a built-in GPS, a self-cleaning interior, and a heated steering wheel; it practically drives itself, but I still have to deal with traffic and customers.

Late Night Delivery Driver Jokes: Humor for the Graveyard Shift

Ever wonder what keeps delivery drivers going during those late-night shifts? It’s not just caffeine! “Late Night Delivery Driver Jokes” explores the unique humor born from navigating empty streets and quirky customer requests. Expect puns about pizzas, stories of strange deliveries, and relatable jokes that only those in the graveyard…

• “I’m a delivery driver, so I’m used to dealing with people who are hungry, tired, and haven’t showered all day; but I still smile.”
• My delivery truck’s GPS has a feature where it speaks in Yoda’s voice, which makes it sound like I’m getting directions from a wise, green, miniature Jedi Master.
• “I’m not saying I’m the fastest delivery driver, but I once delivered a package before the customer even ordered it and before the store opened.”
• That delivery driver is known for his ability to find any address, even if it’s hidden behind a gate, guarded by a dog, and located in a black hole.
• My delivery truck has a built-in GPS, a self-cleaning interior, and a heated steering wheel, but it still can’t make my shift go by any faster.
• “I’m a delivery driver, so I have to be careful, it’s a package deal with great risk and great reward, mostly from the tips, but it’s okay.”
• I’m not saying I’m the best delivery driver, but I can parallel park a 40-foot truck in one try, and I can still make it to your door on time.
• My delivery route is like a choose-your-own-adventure book, except the only options are “traffic jam,” “detour,” and “angry customer.”
• That delivery driver’s greatest fear is delivering a package to the wrong address, especially if it’s something embarrassing or illegal.
• A delivery driver and a taxi driver are on a date, the female driver asked the male driver, “What do you like about me?”. The male driver responds, “I like your driving skills, and your ability to find every address.”
• I’m a delivery driver, so I know that the fastest way to a person’s heart is through the stomach, especially if it involves pizza and a lot of toppings.
• “I’m a delivery driver,” he said, “So, I’m used to dealing with people who are hungry, and who are often not very nice, so I have to be very patient.”
• I’m thinking of writing a self-help book for delivery drivers: “From Doorstep to Dreams: A Guide to Surviving the Delivery Haul Without Losing Your Mind, or Your Packages.”
• The delivery driver said he was going to open a new restaurant, but it’s a secret; I guess we’ll have to wait and see what he’s cooking up, and what kind of delivery service he will have.
• If you were a package, I would deliver you safely to my home, and I would make sure that you are safe, and I will always deliver you my heart.