150 Best Martial Artist Jokes and Puns That Will Kick You Into Laughter

Ready to kick your funny bone into high gear? We’re about to unleash a flurry of hilarious martial artist jokes and puns that will have you rolling on the floor laughing. Prepare for a comedic kata!

Whether you’re a seasoned black belt in humor or just a white belt beginner, these jokes are guaranteed to land a punchline. Get ready to spar with some seriously silly wordplay.

So, tighten your gi, focus your chi, and let’s dive into a dojo full of delightful martial artist jokes and puns.

Best Martial Artist Jokes and Puns That Will Kick You Into Laughter

• Why did the martial artist break up with the baker? She felt he was always kneading attention.
• I tried to join a karate club for people with memory loss… I don’t remember what happened next.
• My friend told me he’s training to be a ninja. I told him, “That’s a stealthy career choice.”
• What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato. (Martial arts adjacent, kangaroos are known for their kicks)
• Did you hear about the martial artist who became a gardener? He was great at plant-fu.
• My Taekwondo instructor told me to break a board with my head. I think he’s lost his mind. Maybe he’s board.
• Why did the martial artist go to art school? He wanted to learn how to draw strikes.
• A black belt and a white belt are walking down the street. The white belt asks, “What’s your secret to success?” The black belt replies, “Timing.” Then a piano falls on him.
• I’m writing a book about a martial arts master who only fights with kitchen utensils. It’s a wok in progress.
• What’s a martial artist’s favorite type of music? Kickin’ tunes!
• Why did the martial artist bring a ladder to the fight? He wanted to get to a higher level of combat.
• A martial artist walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia. The librarian whispers, “They’re right behind you!”
• I just saw a martial artist fighting a refrigerator. It was a real cold war.
• What do you call a martial artist who loves to bake? A bread belt.
• Two martial artists are having a debate. One says, “My style is superior!” The other replies, “Let’s settle this with a friendly sparring match… Paper, scissors, rock!”

Martial Artist Jokes: One-Liner Knockouts for a Quick Laugh

Need a quick dose of humor? “Martial Artist Jokes: One-Liner Knockouts” delivers exactly that! This collection is packed with bite-sized jokes and puns that are perfect for anyone who appreciates the art of combat and a good laugh. Prepare for some swift and silly strikes to your funny bone.

• My dojo is so clean, it is Karate with a K.
• I tried to start a Taekwondo-themed restaurant, but it never kicked off.
• I am like a black belt, deadly if you push me too far, but mostly chill.
• A Judo practitioner walks into a bar; the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve people who throw others around.”
• I asked my sensei for some relationship advice, he said, “Always respect your opponent, and to always have a good defense.”
• That Kung Fu master is so good, he can chop vegetables with one hand and teach you a lesson with the other, and he is always ready to help.
• I’m thinking of writing a self-help book for martial artists: “From White Belt to Black Belt: A Guide to Surviving the Dojo.”
• Why did the martial artist refuse to play cards? He didn’t want to deal with a bad hand.
• What’s a martial artist’s favorite social media platform? Kick-Tok, where they share their moves.
• My therapist told me to embrace my inner martial artist; now I approach every challenge with a well-executed kata and a battle cry.
• I asked my sensei what his greatest fear was, he said, “To lose a student, because I am a teacher, and I care about all of my students.”
• Two martial artists were having a debate, and it turned into a brawl, but they hugged it out in the end.
• What do you call a martial artist who’s always running late? Un-punctu-al.
• I told my wife I was going to dress up as a Taekwondo master for Halloween; she said, “You already do that every time you kick the laundry basket.”
• I’m trying to write a song about martial arts, but I don’t know how to get the right beat.

Martial Arts Puns for Kids: Giggles and Grappling Fun

Looking for kid-friendly martial arts laughs? “Martial Arts Puns for Kids: Giggles and Grappling Fun” delivers! This book is packed with silly jokes and puns perfect for young karate kids and judo juniors. Get ready for some chuckles and chop-tastic humor that will have them saying “Hi-YA!” to happiness.

• Why did the student bring a ladder to karate class? Because they heard the kicks were on another level.
• A black belt is like a good friend, someone who’s always there to support you, unless you are in a fight, then they are there to kick your butt.
• What’s a martial artist’s favorite social media platform? Insta-karate, where they share their moves and inspire others to find inner peace.
• I tried to hire a ninja, but he was always flaking out on me; I guess you could say he was a stealth-employed candidate.
• What do you call a martial artist who’s also a DJ? A beatdown artist, always dropping the bass and laying down the law with some serious beats.
• That martial artist is so good, he can disarm any opponent with just a stern look and a well-timed “Excuse me, sir, you can’t do that here.”
• I’m writing a screenplay about a Taekwondo master who opens a bakery, it is going to be a “kick” to see.
• What’s a martial artist’s favorite food? A punch bowl of fruit.
• A white belt and a black belt are walking down the street, the white belt asks, “What do you like about me?”. The black belt responds, “I like that you are always trying to improve yourself.”
• I tried to get a job as a martial artist, but I didn’t have the chops, and I was not able to pass the tests.
• Why did the ninja refuse to fight with his hands? He said that he was only skilled in the way of the foot.
• My new favorite martial art movie is called “The Karate Code,” the action is riveting, and the characters are always on the move.
• What do you call a martial artist who loves to sing? A kar-aoke fighter.
• A martial artist walks into a library, and asks for books about paranoia. The librarian whispers, “They’re right behind you!”
• The martial arts instructor said, “Always remember, the key to success is to never give up, and to always be ready to learn.”

Adult Martial Arts Humor: Jokes That Kick With Experience

Tired of beginner martial arts jokes? “Adult Martial Arts Humor: Jokes That Kick With Experience” delivers puns and observations only seasoned practitioners will truly appreciate. We’re talking aches, creaks, and existential debates about gi washing frequency. Prepare for laughs that land harder, because these jokes have earned their black belt…

• I tried to meditate like a sensei. Now I’m just enlightened with the knowledge that my back hurts.
• My martial arts journey is like a white belt in a washing machine: full of spins and cycles, but still mostly clean.
• Seeking a sparring partner who appreciates a good philosophical debate, but won’t get offended when I accidentally kick them in the face.
• My new fighting style is called “Aggressive Napping”; it’s all about conserving energy and striking when the enemy least expects it.
• I’m not saying I’m the best martial artist, but I can chop an onion so fast, it never has time to make me cry.
• I told my sensei I was feeling lost in life, and he said, “Let’s find your center, and then we can work on finding your car keys.”
• My superpower is turning a potential fight into an awkward conversation about boundaries and mutual respect.
• I tried to get a black belt in Taekwondo, but I was too chicken. All I got was a white belt with a side of poultry jokes.
• May spontaneously break into a series of well-executed katas while waiting in line at the grocery store, I’m a martial artist.
• That martial artist is so good, he can take on three opponents at once, but he is also very modest, and always gives credit to his teachers.
• Why did the karate master quit his job at the bakery? He was tired of people saying his buns were dough-jo.
• My new favorite game is about martial arts, and the characters are always fighting, and it is a great way to pass the time, and to learn about different fighting styles.
• What’s a martial artist’s favorite type of car? A kick start, because it’s always ready to go, and it is very reliable.
• I asked the martial arts instructor if he was always ready to fight, he said, “I am always prepared for anything, but my first choice is to never fight”.
• “I’m not saying I’m a black belt, but my Netflix recommendations are all kung fu movies, and I know how to defend myself with a kitchen towel.”

Martial Arts Jokes and Memes: Shareable Snaps for Social Media

Need a quick laugh after a tough training session? Dive into the world of martial arts jokes and memes! From punny karate kicks to witty wing chun wordplay, we’ve got shareable snaps perfect for your social media. Unleash your inner comedian and spread the dojo humor.

• That karate instructor is so good, he can chop vegetables with one hand, and teach you a lesson with the other.
• I asked my sensei if I could wear a helmet to Taekwondo, and he replied, “Protect your mind and your body, or you will not be able to succeed”.
• You know you are talking to a martial artist when they say, “I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure”, and you are not sure if they are being serious or not.
• You know you are dating a martial artist when they ask, “Are you ready to commit to the long haul, and will you always be ready to protect me, even if you are hurt?”
• Image: A black belt that has a lot of dirt and holes, with text, “My black belt after years of training”.
• You should always be nice to martial artists, because they are great at punches, and they know how to hurt you.
• My new favorite martial arts movie is called “The Karate Code,” the action is always great, and the characters are always trying to beat the bad guy.
• Trying to explain to my toddler what taekwondo is: “It is a way to use your body to defend yourself,” he said, “So you can be a ninja?”.
• I tried to ask a martial artist out on a date, but I was too nervous; I guess you could say I chickened out, and I am not sure what to do.
• If you are a martial artist, you have a license to defend, to protect, and to be a part of a community, and to be a great human being.
• I told my martial artist I was feeling down, he said “Let’s work on your balance, and then we can work on your emotions, and make sure you get a little help.”
• What do you call a martial artist that has a hard time going to sleep? A night-mare, always awake and ready to spar.
• Why did the martial artist break up with the baker? They had a lot of differences, and they were not able to see eye to eye, and they were not able to find a solution.
• Why did the karate teacher get sent to his room? Because he kept throwing a temper-tantrum, and he needed to calm down, and to center himself.
• My new favorite martial arts gadget is a pen that can write, and can also be used to defend myself, and is easy to carry around.

Chuck Norris Martial Arts Jokes: Roundhouse Kicks of Comedy

Chuck Norris jokes are legendary, especially among martial arts fans! “Roundhouse Kicks of Comedy” explores the humorous side of his exaggerated abilities. These jokes, often based on his martial arts prowess, provide a fun, lighthearted take on the discipline. It’s all about the absurdity and the laughs, a perfect blend…

• Chuck Norris doesn’t do push-ups; he pushes the Earth down. His personal trainer is the planet.
• Chuck Norris doesn’t have a shadow; the shadow is always 5 feet behind him, trying to keep up.
• Chuck Norris doesn’t need a weapon. He is one. His arms are registered as lethal weapons in 47 states.
• Chuck Norris doesn’t use a GPS; the Earth aligns itself to his location. He is the compass, the GPS, and the map.
• Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in evolution; he believes in survival of the fittest, and he is the fittest.
• Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. His door is always the right one, and he is never wrong.
• When Chuck Norris does a roundhouse kick, he doesn’t just break bones, he shatters timelines. Time has to stop when Chuck Norris is ready to strike.
• Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in three moves. He just does it, and he is always ready for the challenge.
• Chuck Norris doesn’t need to do a fatality; he is one; fatalities are always running in fear from Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer, but he’s too busy being tough to cry. He’s a hero, and he doesn’t need to express his emotions.
• Chuck Norris doesn’t need a parachute; he can simply float down from any height, because the ground fears him.
• Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe; the air requires his permission to enter his lungs.
• Chuck Norris can divide by zero. He creates a black hole, and destroys the universe.
• Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light; he is the best there ever was, and ever will be.
• Chuck Norris doesn’t need to floss, his teeth are so strong that there is no room for bacteria to grow.

Martial Arts Instructor Jokes: Punchlines Only They’ll Truly Get

Martial arts jokes often land best with those who’ve felt the mat burn and heard the same corrections a thousand times. Some punchlines, like “Ki-yah later!” or “Just block it!” resonate deeply only with fellow practitioners. It is an inside world of shared pain and dedicated discipline, perfect for humor.

• What’s a martial artist’s favorite drink?
• You know, my dojo’s got a new sign: “Enter at your own Asana.” It’s getting a lot of stretch-y reviews.
• If martial arts were easy, they’d call it your mom.
• What do you call a martial artist who’s also a gardener?
• I tried to create a martial arts style for pacifists, but it was a real non-violent reaction.
• That martial arts instructor’s greatest skill is getting you to believe you have a chance against him.
• I am not saying my sensei’s fighting skills are strong, but he can take on three opponents at once, and he is always ready for a fight.
• “I’m a boxer, so I’m used to dealing with people who are always trying to knock me down, but I always get back up, no matter what.”
• That martial arts instructor is so good, he can kick you into next week, and is also very kind, and very humble.
• What do you call a martial artist who’s a skilled wedding planner? Someone who can bring harmony to any event, with a touch of flair.
• I saw a black belt driving a car, and he was pulled over for speeding. I guess he couldn’t control his road rage.
• If a black belt and a white belt fell off a cliff, who would survive?
• What kind of car does a martial artist like to drive?
• Why did the martial artist get sent to his room? He was caught throwing a temper-tantrum!
• My new favorite movie is a bout martial arts, and it is called “The Karate Code,” the action is riveting, and the characters are always on the move.

Martial Arts Style Puns: Kung Fu-nny, Karate-tastic & More

Ready to kick up some laughs? Explore the hilarious world of martial arts puns! From Kung Fu-nny jokes to Karate-tastic one-liners, we’ve got a black belt in humor. Discover puns about Judo, Taekwondo, and more. Prepare for some side-splitting moves that will leave you feeling utterly defeated… by laughter!

• That Taekwondo instructor’s dating profile: Looking for someone who is willing to kick it with me, and is always ready to spar, and knows how to have fun.
• Why did the student get kicked out of his Kung Fu class? Because he was always chop-sticking his nose into other peoples business.
• My Jiu Jitsu instructor recommended I try to be more flexible, so I’m starting to do more yoga, and I’m going to be a great student.
• My friend said I should stop training in Aikido, and that I should get a new hobby. I told him to get that Aikido outta here with that negativity!
• What did the Karate student say to the bully? “You’re about to get a kick out of this situation, so I will show you some respect”.
• I had to quit my Sumo wrestling career; it was too much pressure, and I was always getting pushed around, and I needed a break.
• I tried to make a joke about Judo, but it just kept getting thrown around and slammed to the ground, it needed more substance.
• You know you are a true ninja when you can do your taxes in the dark and without a calculator.
• What is a boxer’s favorite drink? A punch, and then a few more until he is knocked out for the night.
• A martial artist walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve people who throw people around.”
• I’m training to become a professional martial artist; you could say I’m driven to succeed, and I am always ready to challenge myself.
• What do you call an architect who is studying to be a martial artist? Someone who is building up his body and mind.
• Why did the new martial artist bring a library book to the training session? Because he heard the class was complex and wanted to have some good reading material on hand.
• My martial arts instructor said, “Always remember to feel the energy, and to move with a purpose, and to always be ready for the challenge.”
• My greatest fear as a martial artist is that one day, I will be unable to defend myself, and I will be vulnerable to the world.

Martial Artist Pick-Up Lines: Flirting with a Fighting Chance

Ready to spar with romance? “Martial Artist Pick-Up Lines” delivers a knockout collection of puns and flirty phrases perfect for breaking the ice. From karate kisses to judo hugs, these lines cleverly blend fighting techniques with charming wit. So, step onto the mat of love and prepare for a playful…

• I’m not saying I’m a black belt in sarcasm, but I can disarm you with a single, well-timed eye roll.
• Did you hear about the martial artist who became a baker? He kneaded the dough with lightning-fast precision and could whip up a batch of croissants in under 60 seconds.
• A black belt, a white belt, and a blue belt walk into a bar. A fight breaks out. The black belt quickly and efficiently takes down all the attackers, the white belt is paralyzed with fear, and the blue belt gets everyone to sign a petition.
• What do you call a martial artist who’s also a skilled accountant? Someone who always balances the chi with the books.
• Two martial artists are stranded on a desert island. One says, “We’re doomed!” The other replies, “Don’t worry, I know how to build a shelter out of coconuts and defend ourselves with our bare hands.”
• I tried to get a job as a martial arts instructor, but I didn’t make the cut, I guess you could say my skills were under suspicion, and I was not a good fit for the dojo.
• A martial artist is a great person to be around. They can make you feel safe, and they are always down to earth.
• Seeking someone who appreciates a strong stance, a well-executed kata, and a partner who can handle a little sparring, I am a martial artist.
• What do you call a martial artist who is always running late? Un-punctu-al, and a pain to work with.
• Seeking a partner who appreciates a good workout, enjoys a healthy lifestyle, and doesn’t mind me shadowboxing in the kitchen, I am a martial artist.
• I was going to get my black belt today, but my sensei said I had to earn it, so I will be training for it.
• Two martial artists were having a heated argument, and they were both very passionate about their craft, and it was a real show that I was happy to see.
• Why did the martial artist bring a ladder to the party? He heard the drinks were on the house.
• I am not saying I am a great martial artist, but I can take on three opponents at once, and I am always ready to help.
• I am an martial artist, and my greatest fear is that one day, I will be unable to defend myself, and I will be vulnerable to the world.