150 Best Olympian Jokes and Puns That Are Gold Medal Funny

Ready to win gold in the comedy games? We’re diving headfirst into a pool of Olympian jokes and puns that are sure to make you hurdle with laughter!

Whether you’re a fan of Zeus-ly good humor or just looking for some lighthearted fun, prepare for a marathon of mirth.

Get ready to flex your funny bone with our collection of Olympian jokes and puns. It’s going to be legen-dairy!

Best Olympian Jokes and Puns That Are Gold Medal Funny

• Why did Zeus get kicked out of the comedy club? His jokes were Olympian heights of bad!
• I tried to make a joke about Hera, but it was too jealous to be funny.
• What do you call a lazy Olympian god? Good for nothing, but still gets a lot of “a-throne-y”
• Why did the Olympian athlete bring a ladder to the competition? He heard the stakes were high!
• Poseidon walks into a seafood restaurant. The waiter asks, “Do you want a table?” Poseidon replies, “No, I’ll just make one.”
• My Olympian god impression? It’s all Greek to you.
• Ares just invested in a mirror company. He wants a better reflection of his war efforts.
• Heard about the Olympian god who opened a bakery? Turns out he was a real breadwinner.
• Why was Aphrodite such a bad gambler? Because she kept using her charms and thought everyone else was playing dirty.
• What’s an Olympian god’s favorite social media platform? Insta-gram.
• Hermes started a delivery service. He promised everything would arrive lightening fast but customers are still waiting for their packages.
• Demeter opened a flower shop. Business bloomed overnight.
• I told my friend an Olympian joke, and he said it was terrible. I guess it was just a myth-take.
• What did Hades say when he was denied entry to the underworld? “Let me in. I know a guy!”
• Why did the Olympian god get a parking ticket? He left his chariot in a no-Zeus zone.

Olympian Jokes: Gold Medal Humor for Every Sport

Looking for gold medal laughs? “Olympian Jokes” delivers! This book is packed with puns and jokes celebrating every sport, from archery to wrestling. Whether you’re a seasoned athlete or just love watching the games, prepare for some winning humor. It’s a champion collection guaranteed to bring home the gold in…

• Why did Zeus refuse to use public transportation? He preferred to use a lightning bolt for a faster commute.
• Hades tried to start a dating app, but it was a complete disaster; nobody wanted to visit his underworld profile.
• Aphrodite’s dating profile: Seeking someone who appreciates beauty, doesn’t mind a little drama, and is ready to commit to eternal love.
• Why did the Olympic athlete bring a ladder to the games? Because they heard the high jump was set to new heights.
• Why was Zeus such a bad gambler? Because he kept using his charms and thought everyone else was playing dirty.
• Hera is the Zeus’s wife, she said, “I am always right, and there is always a consequence if you disagree with me.”
• Why did Poseidon refuse to go to the beach? He felt like he was surrounded by shallow people, and he was not impressed with the tourists.
• My therapist told me to embrace my inner Olympian god, so I started throwing lightning bolts, and I am not sure what to do.
• Why did the Olympian god get a ticket for his car? He parked in a no-Zeus zone, and he should have known better.
• Did you hear about the Olympian god who couldn’t stop making space puns? He was a real stellar comedian, and he said he was not able to contain his humor.
• Two Olympians are on a date, the female Olympian asked the male Olympian, “What do you like about me?” The male Olympian responds, “I like your strength and your dedication, and your ability to compete.”
• What do you call a group of Olympian god kittens? A litter of purr-fessionals, always ready to play, and cause mischief.
• I’m not saying Zeus is a bad leader, but his management style is a bit shocking, and he is always making decisions on a whim.
• My therapist told me to embrace my inner Olympian god, so I’m now throwing lightning bolts at anyone who disagrees with me, and I am sure this will have consequences.
• Seeking someone who appreciates a good bolt of lightning, knows how to handle a god, and is ready for a lifelong commitment, I am Zeus.

Olympian Puns for Kids: Family-Friendly Fun and Games

Ready to unleash your inner Zeus of laughter? “Olympian Puns for Kids” is your family’s ticket to Mount Hilarious! Packed with kid-friendly jokes and games, this collection transforms ancient myths into modern fun. Get ready for godly giggles and heroic humor that everyone will Apollo-d!

• I tried to make a joke about Zeus, but it was a-volt-ing, and I needed to find a new way to express myself.
• The Olympian gods started a band, but they always had a hard time with the lyre-ics, and it never worked out.
• I told my daughter that the Olympian gods were real; I guess I Zeus-ed her.
• Why did Hera always look so angry? Because Zeus was always cheating on her, and that is not an ethical way to live.
• I asked the Olympian gods if they wanted to go to the beach, but they said, “We are too busy ruling the world, and there is no time to relax and have fun.”
• If you Zeus the opportunity to make a joke, you should always take it, and I am not afraid to make jokes, especially Greek god jokes.
• What do you call a kid that has been gifted the power of Zeus: A temper-tantrum!
• Why did Zeus get kicked out of the comedy club? His jokes were Olympian heights of bad, and nobody wanted to laugh at his jokes.
• Hades is always so sad, I think he needs some Sun-shine.
• If you are a Greek god, you might be a genius, but you will also have to be ready to face the challenges and the problems that come your way.
• What did Zeus say to his son? “You are a great son, and I am very proud of you, and never let anyone bring you down.”
• What do you call a Greek Titan who is a great baker? Atlas lifting the weight of the world with his baking, and always ready to work.
• I started to go to the gym with Zeus, so the weights became light.
• What is Zeus’s favorite animal? A light-owl.
• Two Olympian gods were having a heated debate, and one said, “You are always right!” The other replied, “You are only right when you are talking about me.”

Adult Olympian Jokes: A Risqué Race to the Punchline

“Adult Olympian Jokes: A Risqué Race to the Punchline” explores the naughtier side of athletic humor. Think gold medal puns with a decidedly adult twist. These jokes often play on double entendres and suggestive scenarios involving the gods and heroes of Greek mythology, offering a cheeky, irreverent take on the…

• Why did Zeus get a parking ticket? He left his chariot in a no-Zeus parking zone.
• Aphrodite is a beautiful woman, and she has a lot of charms, but what is she like in bed?
• Hades is always so sad, I think he needs some Sun-shine, but he is too far below to feel the light.
• I know I should train more, but sometimes I feel like I am Hercules, and I am carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.
• I tried to ask Hera on a date, but I was too afraid of her wrath, I know Zeus has a wandering eye, but she is still powerful.
• My new favorite movie is called “The Olympian Games,” the action is riveting, and the characters are always trying to win, and it is a very sexy movie.
• Two Olympian gods are on a date, the female Olympian asked the male Olympian, “What do you like about me?”. The male Olympian responds, “I like your power.”
• That Olympian god is so strong, he can lift anything, but he is also very arrogant, and he is always looking down on others.
• If you were a Greek god, I’d build you a temple, and worship you as a deity, and take you on an adventure, and show you the world.
• You are more beautiful than Aphrodite, and I can’t help but stare at you, and you have me wrapped around your finger, and I am ready to do anything to make you happy.
• I am going to be a Greek god, so I can have all the power in the world, and I will make sure that everyone is happy, and that no one is suffering.
• “Doctor, I think I’m turning into Greek god!” “Don’t worry, you’ll just have to get used to being worshipped.”
• I am not saying I’m Hercules, but I can lift heavy objects with ease, and I am always ready to help others, and I am always looking for a new challenge.
• Why did the Olympian gods get a new lawyer? Because they needed to be better protected in the face of all the mortals that were always trying to cause problems.
• I’m not saying my relationship with Zeus is complicated, but it involves a lot of lightning, infidelity, and attempts to turn me into an animal.

Olympian Jokes and Memes: Winning Social Media Posts and Captions

Ready to win gold in social media? “Olympian Jokes and Memes” is your training guide! Packed with hilarious puns and meme-worthy moments, it’ll help you craft winning posts. From Zeus’s dating life to Poseidon’s pool parties, we’ve got the Olympian humor to boost your engagement and make your followers chuckle.

• I’m not saying Zeus is a bad leader, but his management style is a bit shocking, and he is always making decisions on a whim, and he is not always thinking about the long-term consequences.
• That Olympian god is so strong, he can lift anything, but he is also very arrogant, and he is always looking down on mortals.
• Seeking someone who appreciates a good bolt of lightning, knows how to handle a god, and is ready for a lifelong commitment.
• Why did the Olympian athlete bring a ladder to the competition? He heard the stakes were high, and he wanted to reach new heights in his career.
• What’s an Olympian god’s favorite social media platform? Insta-gram, where they can share their godly deeds and inspire mortals with their power.
• You must be Aphrodite because you are the most beautiful person, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you and admire your beauty.
• I tried to make a joke about the Olympian gods, but it was too mythological, and the audience did not understand what I was talking about.
• What’s an Olympian god’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good beat, and a strong sense of rhythm, setting the tempo for the world.
• I asked the Olympian gods if they wanted to go to the beach, but they said, “We are too busy ruling the world, and there is no time to relax and have fun.”
• What do you call an Olympian god who is a bad liar? A myth, who can not be trusted, and is always looking for a way to deceive.
• Two Olympian gods were on a date, the female Olympian asked the male Olympian, “What do you like about me?”. The male Olympian responds, “I like your power and your influence.”
• I told my therapist I was feeling like an Olympian god; he said, “Let’s unpack that and see if we can find out what is wrong, and how to make you feel more stable.”
• “If you were an Olympian god, I would worship you, and I would build you a temple, and I would make sure that everyone knows how great you are, and I would make sure that you are safe.”
• Seeking a goddess who appreciates a strong lightning bolt, a well-crafted myth, and doesn’t mind me ruling the world.
• Why did the Olympian god get a ticket for his car? He parked in a no-Zeus zone, and he should have known better than to park there, and he was not paying attention.

Ancient Greek Olympian Puns: Mythologically Funny

Dive into the hilarious world of Olympian jokes and puns! “Ancient Greek Olympian Puns: Mythologically Funny” explores the lighter side of gods and goddesses. Expect Zeus-sized laughs with clever wordplay on their epic adventures and godly powers. Prepare for puns so good, they’re divine! Discover the humor behind the myths.

• Dating Zeus is difficult; he’s always Olympus-ing around with other goddesses.
• Hades’ favorite song is “Stairway to Heaven” because he is going to make sure that no one can get to heaven.
• I’m thinking of starting a gym for Olympian gods, but I’m worried about the Hercules-sized membership fees.
• That new Zeus-themed energy drink is shocking, it is really good at first but does not last.
• If you’re looking for a godly real estate agent, I know Zeus real estate agents that will lightning fast sell your house.
• I told my wife that I was going to become an Olympian god. She said, “You can barely take out the trash, how are you going to rule the world?”
• Hera is always so angry because Zeus is always cheating on her, and she has a good reason to be mad.
• Those two Olympian gods are so strong and muscular, they must workout, “Hercules-ly”.
• That new restaurant in Olympus is amazing, the food is godly, and the service is Olympian, and I highly recommend it.
• Why did the Olympian god get a ticket for his car? He parked in a no-Zeus zone, and he should have known better.
• Ares is a terrible comedian, he’s all about war, and he has no sense of humor.
• Hades is always so sad, I think he needs some Sun-shine, but he is too far below to feel the light.
• If you are looking for a new hairstyle, try the Zeus, it is a lightning bolt, and very shocking.
• I’m trying to write a song about Zeus and Hera, but I’m having trouble getting the lyrics to flow, it’s a real thunder-struck situation.
• Why did the Olympian gods get a new lawyer? Because they needed to be better protected in the face of all the mortals that were always trying to sue them, and he’s godly!

Winter Olympian Jokes: Cool Comedy on Ice and Snow

Looking for some frosty fun? “Winter Olympian Jokes: Cool Comedy on Ice and Snow” delivers! This collection is packed with hilarious puns and jokes about skiing, snowboarding, ice skating, and more. It’s the perfect way to warm up your funny bone during the chilly season and celebrate the spirit of…

• Why did the overly cautious snowboarder always carry an extra pair of gloves? In case he had to face a lengthy frostbite line.
• The ski resort was hiring, and they wanted to see my skills; I was told to bring my A-game, and I aced it by landing a triple backflip.
• The figure skater has a new routine, set to the music of ABBA. It’s going to be a real mamma-mia-sterpiece, and I am excited to see it.
• A biathlete is like a superhero; they have incredible aim and can handle the pressure, but they are also very humble, and always eager to help others succeed.
• Why did the ski jumper get sent to his room? For throwing a temper-tan-trum, and being a little too dramatic.
• What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman, and he is very popular with the snow ladies.
• Why did the sled break up with the snow? It felt like they were always being pushed around, and that their relationship was going downhill.
• What do you call a hockey player who can’t stand up straight? A slapshot, a player who should learn how to stand up straight.
• What’s a bobsledder’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good rhythm and a fast tempo, helping them stay focused and in sync on the track, and to make sure they are winning.
• “I’m not saying I’m the best curler, but my precision is so on point, it could thread a needle from across the rink, and I am going to be the best”.
• Trying to explain to my toddler what ice skating is, he just said, “They are sliding on the ice”, which is true, but there is so much more to the story.
• What do you call a very fast snowboarder? Two-Wheeled.
• What’s a winter Olympian’s favorite social media platform? Ice-stagram, where they share photos of their latest victories and training sessions, and inspire others to be the best at what they do.
• I tried to make a joke about the Winter Olympics, but it was too cold, so I added some warmth and a lot of heart to make it better and funnier.
• What do you call a figure skater who’s also a skilled detective? A leap-sleuth, always finding clues with graceful precision.

Summer Olympian Jokes: Sizzling Gags for Every Event

Ready to medal in mirth? “Summer Olympian Jokes: Sizzling Gags for Every Event” is your gold-standard guide! Packed with puns about swimming, track, and more, it’s a hilarious collection perfect for sharing Olympic-sized laughs. Whether you’re a seasoned sports fan or just enjoy a good chuckle, prepare for some gold-medal…

• What do you call Zeus when he loses his lightning bolts? Powerless.
• I tried to make a joke about archery, but I missed the point, and I needed to be more accurate in my delivery.
• Hades is always so sad, I think he needs some Sun-shine, but he is too far below to feel the light.
• If you were a Greek god, you’d be Poseidon, because I’d want you to trident me with respect.
• Why did the discus thrower get a bad grade in history class? He kept throwing shade at the ancient civilizations.
• Did you hear about the Olympian swimmer who started a restaurant? He was known for his fast service and his ability to make a splash with every dish.
• I’m not saying Zeus is a bad leader, but his management style is a bit shocking, and he is always making decisions on a whim.
• I told my personal trainer that I wanted to look like Hercules; he said, “I’m going to make you lift weights, and be strong.”
• Seeking: A goddess who appreciates a solid thunderbolt, a well-crafted myth, and doesn’t mind me ruling the world with an iron fist and lightning bolt.
• Why did the athlete bring a ladder to the Olympics? He heard the high jump was set to reach new heights of athleticism.
• What is the official car of Ancient Greece? A Chariot.
• What do you call a group of Olympian kittens? A litter of purr-fessionals, always ready to play, and cause mischief.
• Why did the Olympian athlete get a ticket for his car? It was parked in a no-Zeus zone, and he should have known better than to park there.
• I tried to write a song about the Olympian games, but it was too hard to get it to be a smash hit, and to make it a song for the ages.
• If you were an Olympian god, I would worship you, and I would build you a temple, and I would make sure that everyone knows how great you are.

Online Olympian Jokes: Viral Victory in the Comedy Arena

Olympian jokes are sprinting to viral fame! Clever puns about athletes, events, and even the ancient gods are winning gold in the comedy arena. Social media is overflowing with witty takes, proving that laughter is a universal sport. These online games are a fun way to celebrate the Olympics with…

• Why did Zeus start a dating app? To find his SOul-lympian!
• Hades tried to start a dating app, but it was a complete disaster; nobody wanted to visit his underworld profile, he was always alone.
• Why did Aphrodite start a cosmetics line? For god-tier beauty!
• I am a fan of Poseidon, he really knows how to make waves.
• Why are Olympian gods bad at poker? They are always Zeus-picious.
• I am thinking of starting a band with Zeus and his friends, we will have legendary lightning riffs.
• Why did Hera get a new car? She heard it had a better Zeus system.
• I tried to write a song about Zeus, but it was too shocking.
• Why did the ancient Greek cross the road? To get to the other Acropolis.
• Why did the Olympian gods get a new lawyer? Because they needed to be better protected in the face of all the mortals that were always trying to sue them, and he’s godly!
• I asked Aphrodite what her favorite pickup line was; she said, “Are you from Olympus? Because you are heaven!”
• Why did Zeus get kicked out of the comedy club? His jokes were Olympian heights of bad!
• Why did the ancient Roman slip on the ice? Because he Caesar’d the moment!
• I am writing a screenplay about the Olympian gods, they are a family with a lot of struggles.
• You must be a Greek God, because I think you will be the one for me.