150 Best Umpire Jokes Strike Zone Funny Baseball Puns

Ready to laugh so hard you’ll want to call foul? We’re diving headfirst into the hilarious world of baseball with the best umpire jokes and puns!

Whether you’re a die-hard fan or just enjoy a good chuckle, these umpire jokes are guaranteed to bring a smile to your face. Get ready to yell “safe!” – because this post is packed with comedic gold.

From witty one-liners to clever plays on words, prepare for a rib-tickling collection that proves even the men in blue can be the subject of some seriously funny moments.

Best Umpire Jokes Strike Zone Funny Baseball Puns

• Why did the umpire break up with the baseball? Because he said it was over!
• Umpire: “Strike three!” Batter: “But I didn’t even swing!” Umpire: “Exactly. You’re outta here for lack of effort!”
• Heard about the umpire who opened a bakery? His specialties were foul balls and base hits.
• An umpire’s favorite exercise? Calling strikes… it really works his arms!
• Umpire: “Safe!” Manager: “Are you blind?! He was out by a mile!” Umpire: “Maybe… but I have the final say. So, double safe!”
• What do you call an umpire who’s always right? A liar.
• I tried to write a baseball joke about an umpire, but it was called out for being too predictable.
• Why did the umpire bring a ladder to the baseball game? He wanted to make sure he had the high ground when making calls.
• My therapist told me I have an unhealthy obsession with baseball. I told him, “I’ll appeal that decision!” He said, “Denied! You’re outta here!” I guess he’s an umpire.
• Umpire: “Play ball!” *Five minutes later* Umpire: “Time out! I need a nap.”
• Two umpires are walking down the street. One says, “I hate my job. Everyone yells at me.” The other says, “That’s nothing. I’m always getting dirt thrown in my face!”
• I told my friend I was thinking of becoming a baseball umpire. He said, “Are you sure? You’re kind of indecisive.” I said, “Maybe. I’ll get back to you.”
• What’s an umpire’s favorite song? “Call Me Maybe.”
• Umpire: “Strike one! You’re looking at it!”
• An umpire, a politician, and a used car salesman are all drowning. There’s only one life raft. Who gets saved? Baseball fans everywhere.

Umpire Jokes: Strike Up the Laughter!

Need a break from close calls and heated debates? “Umpire Jokes: Strike Up the Laughter!” delivers a hilarious dose of humor from the diamond. This collection serves up witty puns and classic jokes centered around baseball’s most scrutinized figures. Whether you’re a player, fan, or even an umpire, prepare to…

• Umpires have great vision; they can see the world in black and white, and they can see all the action on the field, even when it is happening too fast.
• I tried to bribe an umpire with a donut, but he wouldn’t budge; guess he’s anti-glaze, and is always trying to be ethical.
• Why did the umpire bring a map to the baseball field? He heard there were some new zones to call, and he wanted to make sure he was prepared, and that he knew where everything was.
• An umpire is like a good cup of coffee: strong, essential, and keeps everyone on their toes, even if they are a little bit bitter.
• That umpire is so old school, he still uses a slide rule, complains about newfangled technology, and hates the designated hitter rule.
• What’s an umpire’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good beat, as long as it helps him keep the rhythm of the game in check, and helps him stay awake.
• Why did the umpire get a ticket for his car? It was parked in a no-parking zone, and he should have known better than to park there, and he was too busy to notice the sign.
• That umpire’s signature move is dusting off home plate, it requires grace, precision, and a subtle wrist action, and it is very important to the game.
• Two umpires are arguing about who is better, and one says, “I’m always right!”, the other replies, “You are only right, when you are the umpire.”
• That umpire’s greatest skill is the ability to make a close call that everyone disagrees with, and to stand his ground in the face of adversity and complaints.
• Seeking someone who appreciates a good sense of justice, and is always ready to call me out when I’m wrong, I am an umpire, and it is not easy to find the right partner.
• If you were a baseball, I would always make sure that you are safe, and I would make sure that you are always protected, and I would never let you get hit by a bat, and I would always be there to catch you.
• I told my umpire to stop being so dramatic, he said, “I am just trying to make sure that the game is fair, and that everyone is having a good time, and that the game is never boring.”
• My new favorite umpire movie is called “The Strike Zone,” the action is always riveting, and the characters are always on the move, and the plot is gripping, and it is a must-see.
• That umpire is so good, he can see a ball curve from miles away, but he cannot see that his wife is about to leave him, because he is too focused on the game.

Umpire Puns for Baseball-Loving Kids: Safe at Home with Humor!

Looking for a fun way to connect with your baseball-loving kids? “Umpire Puns for Baseball-Loving Kids” is your ticket to laughter! Filled with silly jokes and puns about umpires, this collection is guaranteed to bring smiles. It’s a home run of humor that’s always safe at home!

• Why did the umpire bring a ladder to the baseball game? He heard the stakes were high!
• I tried to thank the umpire, but I was too nervous, I guess you could say I was tongue-tied with gratitude!
• What’s an umpire’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good beat, or anything that helps them keep the rhythm of the game.
• The umpire had a great sense of humor, and he was always ready to make people laugh, and to share his opinions.
• Seeking someone who appreciates a fair game, a strong sense of justice, and doesn’t mind me making the final call.
• That umpire is so old school, he still uses hand signals and complains about the newfangled video replay systems.
• Why did the baseball umpire get a new car? He wanted something with good handling, precision steering, and the ability to make quick calls on the road.
• If you were a baseball, I would always make sure that you are safe, and I would make sure that you are protected, and I would never let you get hit by a bat.
• The umpire had a unique way of apologizing: he would offer you a free hotdog, and a soda, and would make sure that you are happy and having a good time.
• I’m not sure what’s scarier: A pitcher with a wild arm, or an umpire with a vendetta.
• My umpire friend said, “To be successful, you need to know the rules, and you need to be fair, and you need to be ready to make the tough calls.”
• Why did the umpire bring a deck of cards to the baseball game? He heard the stakes were high, and he wanted to make sure he had a good hand.
• “I’m not saying I’m a great umpire, but my calls are so accurate they’re practically psychic.”
• What does an umpire use to stir his coffee? A ball, a bat, and a lot of luck.
• I asked my umpire what his favorite type of movie was, and he said, “Anything that helps me keep the rhythm of the game in check, and makes sure that everyone is playing fair.”

Adult Umpire Jokes: Play Ball with Risqué Humor!

Ready for umpire humor that’s a little more… mature? “Adult Umpire Jokes” steps up to the plate with risqué puns and jokes about baseball’s men (and women) in blue. Expect some cheeky calls and double entendres that might make you blush, but will definitely make you laugh. It’s umpire humor,…

• Why did the umpire break up with the baseball? Because he said she was too easy to play.
• I tried to bribe the umpire with a steak dinner, but he called me out for “meat-tempting to influence an official”.
• Umpires are like exes; you only notice how bad they are once they are out of your life.
• I told the umpire that I wanted to be a baseball player. He said, “You have the balls for it, but you’re out of your mind.”
• Why did the umpire get a ticket for his car? He parked in a no-strike zone.
• I tried to complain to the umpire, but he said I was out of line, too bad he can’t see his own mistakes.
• What do you call a bad umpire? A foul ball, because they always make the wrong calls.
• That umpire is such a terrible person, I should have known he would call me out.
• I told my wife that I wanted to be an umpire and she said, “I cannot support that; you will be in the field, and I will always be home alone.”
• Why did the umpire get fired from his job? Because he was always calling the players out for having a bad attitude.
• Umpires are just like bad dates, they are always trying to get you to do something that you do not want to do.
• I’m not saying the umpire was blind, but he called a strike on a pitch that bounced before it got to the plate, and he was always wrong.
• What is a zombie’s favorite sport? Base-ball.
• I told my therapist that I was thinking of becoming an umpire and he said, “Great, you can be the judge of your own actions.”
• The umpire said I was safe, but I was too dangerous to be on the field, and I have to live with that.

Umpire Jokes Gone Viral: Funniest Social Media Moments!

Social media’s ablaze with umpire jokes! From clever puns about “strikes” to memes about questionable calls, the online world is having a field day. Explore the funniest umpire-related content trending now. Discover why these hilarious moments are going viral and share your own best “ball” and “strike” humor!

• I tried to thank the umpire, but I was too nervous; I guess you could say I was tongue-tied with gratitude!
• That umpire is so old school, he still uses hand signals and complains about the newfangled video replay systems.
• Why did the umpire get a ticket for his car? It was parked in a no-strike zone.
• I asked my umpire what his favorite type of movie was, and he said, “Anything that helps me keep the rhythm of the game in check, and makes sure that everyone is playing fair.”
• I tried to thank the umpire, but I was too nervous, I guess you could say I was tongue-tied with gratitude!
• You know, umpires are such nice people, too bad they can’t be fair!
• Why did the umpire get a promotion for solving the case involving the missing alphabet letters? He apprehended the missing ‘U’, and he did it with umpire-like precision.
• I tried to bribe a judge with donuts, but he wouldn’t budge; guess he’s anti-glaze, and is a very ethical umpire!
• That umpire’s greatest skill is the ability to make a close call that everyone disagrees with, and to stand his ground.
• I tried to make a joke about an umpire, but it was too corny; I needed to find a way to make it more humorous and relatable.
• Why did the librarian get a new job as an umpire? Because she knew how to follow the clues and to check out the players.
• The overly cautious train conductor always carried an extra pair of socks in case he had to face a lengthy platform line during the World Series.
• My new favorite umpire movie is called “The Strike Zone,” the action is always riveting, and the characters are always trying to make the right calls.
• Two umpires were on a date, the female umpire asked the male umpire, “What do you like about me?”. The male umpire responds, “I like your ability to make the right calls.”
• That umpire is so blind, he couldn’t see a ball pass in front of him.

Umpire One-Liners: Quick Wit on the Diamond!

Looking for a laugh beyond bad calls? “Umpire One-Liners: Quick Wit on the Diamond!” is your ticket. This collection delivers zingers sharper than a spiked cleat. Forget boring baseball jokes; these puns and witty comebacks will have you yelling “Strike!”… with laughter. It’s a home run for humor!

• Umpires have great vision; they can see the world in black and white.
• Why do umpires always have a great memory? Because they have to recall every call they’ve ever made.
• An umpire asked me to call him a taxi, I said, “You’re out!”
• Why did the umpire bring a ladder to the baseball game? He heard the stakes were high, and he wanted to reach new heights of authority.
• What’s an umpire’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good beat that helps him keep the rhythm of the game in check.
• Umpires always have the final say, even when they are wrong, because they are the law.
• Umpires always have to make tough calls, and they are always ready to make the right decision.
• I tried to thank the umpire, but I was too nervous, I guess you could say I was tongue-tied with gratitude!
• Why did the umpire become a gardener? He wanted to plant some new seeds of knowledge.
• Why did the umpire get a ticket for his car? It was parked in a no-strike zone.
• What’s an umpire’s favorite restaurant? IHOP-efully, they serve something with a lot of flavors.
• An umpire is like a GPS; they may take you the long way, but you’ll eventually reach your destination.
• I told my friend I was going to be an umpire, he said, “Prepare for a lot of crying”.
• May spontaneously start calling balls and strikes. I’m an umpire.
• Umpires are always looking for new ways to improve their skills, and to make sure that every game is fair, and that everyone has a good time.

Clean Umpire Jokes: Family-Friendly Humor Behind the Plate!

Looking for umpire jokes that won’t get you ejected? “Clean Umpire Jokes: Family-Friendly Humor Behind the Plate!” delivers just that. Discover hilarious, G-rated puns and quips about balls, strikes, and close calls, perfect for sharing with kids and fellow baseball fans. Enjoy umpire-related humor without crossing the line!

• Umpires have great authority, they can always make the right calls, but they are not the judge, or a police officer.
• That umpire’s greatest skill is the ability to make a close call that everyone disagrees with, and to stand his ground and make sure that the game is played fairly.
• Seeking someone who appreciates a fair game, a strong sense of justice, and doesn’t mind me making the final call, I am an umpire, and I am looking for love.
• I tried to thank the umpire, but I was too nervous, I guess you could say I was tongue-tied with gratitude!
• What’s an umpire’s favorite type of music? Anything that helps them keep the rhythm of the game in check, and helps them stay focused.
• Why did the umpire bring a deck of cards to the baseball game? He heard the stakes were high, and he wanted to be prepared for anything.
• Why did the umpire get a ticket for his car? It was parked in a no-strike zone, and he should have known better than to park there.
• I tried to bribe an umpire with donuts, but he wouldn’t budge, guess he’s anti-glaze, and is always trying to be ethical.
• A good umpire is someone who can make a tough call, and then not be afraid to face the consequences of their decision.
• Seeking a partner who appreciates a fair game, a strong sense of justice, and doesn’t mind me making the final call; I am an umpire, and it is not easy to find the right person.
• I asked my umpire what his favorite type of movie was, and he said, “Anything that helps me keep the rhythm of the game in check, and makes sure that everyone is playing fair.”
• The umpire said that I was safe, but I was too dangerous to be on the field, and I have to live with that.
• Seeking someone who appreciates a fair game, a strong sense of justice, and doesn’t mind me making the final call.
• Why did the umpire get a promotion for solving the case involving the missing alphabet letters? He apprehended the missing ‘U’, and he did it with umpire-like precision.
• That umpire is so old school, he still uses hand signals and complains about the newfangled video replay systems.

Umpire-Related Memes: Tag Yourself, You’re the Bad Call!

Umpire jokes always get a laugh, right? But let’s be honest, we’ve all wanted to blame a bad call at some point! Umpire-related memes? Forget zodiac signs! Tag yourself: you’re the blown strike three! Embrace the chaos and find humor in the umpire’s occasional (or frequent) mishaps. We’re all just…

• Image: A baseball bat with the text, I sentence you to a timeout.
• Why did the umpire start a dating profile? He was looking for someone who could handle his strike zone, and who was not a fan of baseball.
• Why did the umpire bring a ladder to work? He heard the expectations were set high, and he wanted to reach new heights of authority in the game.
• A good umpire is someone who can stand up to a lot of pressure, and make sure that the game is fair, and make sure that everyone has a good time, but they cannot be nice, or it will not work.
• I tried to thank the umpire, but I was too nervous, I guess you could say I was tongue-tied with gratitude, and did not know what to say.
• That umpire’s greatest skill is the ability to make a close call that everyone disagrees with, and to stand his ground.
• Why did the umpire get a ticket for his car? It was parked in a no-strike zone, and he should have known better than to park there.
• I asked the umpire what his favorite type of movie was, and he said, “Anything that helps me keep the rhythm of the game in check.”
• The umpire said that I was safe, but I was too dangerous to be on the field, and I have to live with that, and that it was the best decision for everyone.
• You know you are dating a umpire when they ask, “Do you like baseball, and are you ready for me to make the final calls?”
• What do you call a group of umpire kittens? A litter of crime fighters, ready to pounce on any players who break the rules and ensure that the game is played fairly.
• Seeking someone who appreciates a fair game, a strong sense of justice, and doesn’t mind me making the final call.
• Image: A baseball with a sad face is looking at a angry umpire that points his finger.
• Why did the Umpire get fired? Because he had too many strikes with the boss and was not a team player.
• What do you call an umpire who’s also a skilled baker? A batter-up baker, whipping up delicious treats while keeping the game fair.

Umpire Puns So Bad They’re Good: Outfield-Level Humor!

Step up to the plate for “Umpire Puns So Bad They’re Good”! This collection delivers the kind of outfield-level humor only a baseball enthusiast can truly appreciate. Prepare for groan-worthy puns and umpire jokes so corny, they’re a guaranteed home run of laughter. Fair warning: you might need a catcher’s…

• Umpires have great vision; they can see the world in black and white, and the players can only see gray.
• That umpire’s signature move is dusting off home plate, which requires grace, precision, and a subtle wrist action, but also a lot of dust.
• I tried to thank the umpire, but I was too nervous, I guess you could say I was tongue-tied with gratitude, it was an awkward experience.
• “I’m not saying I’m a great umpire, but my calls are so accurate they’re practically psychic, although a lot of people disagree”.
• Two umpires were having a date, the female umpire asked the male umpire, “What do you like about me?”. The male umpire responds, “I like your ability to make the right calls.”
• Umpires always have to make tough calls, and they are always ready to make the right decision, even if it is not a popular one.
• A rookie umpire asked the veteran, “What’s the key to being a great umpire?”. The veteran replied, “Always have a backup plan, and never trust the players.”
• I tried to get a job as an umpire, but I didn’t have the chops, and I am not cut out for this, and my resume was not impressive.
• Why did the umpire get a ticket for his car? It was parked in a no-strike zone, and he should have known better than to park there.
• My new favorite umpire movie is called “The Strike Zone,” the action is riveting, and the characters are always trying to make the right calls.
• You know you are dating an umpire when they ask, “What is your opinion on this call?” and they expect a serious answer, and they do not care about your feelings.
• I told my umpire that he was outstanding in his field, he said, “I am just trying to make sure that the game is fair.”
• May spontaneously start calling balls and strikes; I’m an umpire, it’s part of the job, and I am always ready to make the right call.
• I tried to make a joke about an umpire, but it was too corny, and it needed to be more relatable to the average person.
• A baseball team is a great group, but I only have a love for the umpire.