· Food · 8 min read
Doughnut Miss These Hole-arious Bagel Jokes & Puns!
Get your daily dose of laughs with these bagel puns and jokes! You'll be roll-ing with laughter.
Looking for a hole-y good time? You’ve come to the right place! Get ready to be sprinkled with laughter as we dive headfirst into the delicious world of bagel jokes and puns. Whether you’re a plain bagel purist or a everything bagel enthusiast, we’ve got a crumb-ton of humor to satisfy your appetite.
From cream cheese chuckles to sesame seed silliness, prepare for a carb-tastic comedy experience. We’re serving up the freshest, funniest bagel humor guaranteed to get you rolling with laughter. So, grab your favorite schmear and get ready to enjoy these delightful doughy jokes!
Doughnut Miss These Hole-arious Bagel Jokes & Puns!
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- Why did the bagel break up with the cream cheese? Because it felt too smothered!
- I tried to write a song about a bagel, but it was just too holey.
- What do you call a sad bagel? A blue-berry bagel.
- Did you hear about the bagel that won the race? It was on a roll!
- I told my friend I was starting a bagel-themed comedy show. He said, “That sounds like it’ll be full of holes!”
- Why did the bagel go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumbly.
- What’s a bagel’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good beat (like cream cheese being whipped!).
- I’m reading a book about bagels. So far, it’s quite the hole story!
- A bagel walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food.” The bagel replies, “But I’m everything!”
- My therapist told me to embrace my flaws. So I became a bagel.
- What do you call a bagel detective? An investi-gator.
- I saw a bagel wearing a tiny hat. It looked absolutely topping!
- Two bagels are sitting in an oven. One says, “Wow, it’s getting hot in here!” The other replies, “Oh my gosh, a talking bagel!”
- Why did the bagel get an award? For outstanding in its field (of poppy seeds)!
- A plain bagel is feeling insecure. He asks his friend, an everything bagel, “Do you think I’m boring?” The everything bagel replies, “Don’t be silly! You’re the foundation upon which greatness is built!”
Bagel Jokes: The Hole Story
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Bagel jokes are a cornerstone of breakfast-themed humor. They revolve around the bagel’s unique shape and texture, often playing on words like “hole,” “dough,” and the various toppings. Whether you’re a fan of plain, sesame, or everything, there’s a bagel joke for everyone. Prepare to be filled with laughter, not just carbs!
- Why did the bagel go to therapy? It was feeling empty inside.
- What do you call a sad bagel? A blue-berry bagel.
- What did the bagel say to the cream cheese? “You complete me.”
- I tried to make a joke about a bagel, but it was too corny.
- Why did the bagel break up with the croissant? It said, “You’re too flaky!”
- What’s a bagel’s favorite type of music? R&B (Rye and Bagels).
- A bagel walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.” The bagel replies, “That’s a hole lot of bull!”
- How do you know a bagel is lying? It has a hole in its story.
- I told my bagel a joke. It didn’t laugh. It just stared blankly with its hole-y expression.
- What did the detective bagel say? “I’m on the case, and I’ll get to the bottom of this hole thing!”
Bagel Puns: Rise to the Occasion
Bagel puns are a delightful way to add a little levity to your day. These puns often involve clever wordplay related to the bagel’s ingredients, baking process, and associated foods. From “everything is going to be alright” to “you’re my soulmate,” these puns rise to the occasion, guaranteed to crack a smile.
- Donut kill my vibe, just bagel with it.
- Everything is going to be bagel-right!
- You’re my soulmate! (Said by a bagel to a bagel)
- I’m feeling bagel-licious today!
- This bagel is a-maze-ing!
- I’m not sure what to do with my life…I’m feeling a little holesome.
- Don’t worry, be hoppy! (With a picture of a bagel)
- I knead you in my life, bagel.
- Just bagelieve in yourself!
- I love you a whole lot.
Cream Cheese Jokes: Spread the Laughter
Cream cheese, the bagel’s perfect partner, is a great source of comedic material. These jokes often involve the creamy texture, the various flavors, and the act of spreading it on a bagel. From cheesy puns to silly scenarios, these jokes are guaranteed to spread the laughter like cream cheese on a warm bagel.
- Why did the cream cheese blush? Because it saw the bagel getting dressed!
- I’m not sure what’s better, the bagel or the cream cheese…It’s a real spread-off.
- What’s cream cheese’s favorite movie? “Spread Alone.”
- I’m having a cheesy day. I must have eaten too much cream cheese.
- What did the bagel say to the cream cheese when it was feeling down? “You’re always there to spread some cheer.”
- I tried to make a cream cheese joke, but it was too smooth.
- My love for cream cheese is un-brie-lievable!
- What do you call a cream cheese that’s a good friend? A spreading pal.
- Why was the cream cheese so popular? Because it was always so cultured.
- What did the cream cheese say to the bagel? “I’m really attached to you!”
Everything Bagel Puns: Seasoned to Perfection
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Everything bagels, with their savory blend of seeds and spices, provide a unique opportunity for puns. These puns often play on the “everything” aspect, suggesting the bagel has it all. These jokes are seasoned to perfection, just like the bagel itself, offering a flavorful dose of humor.
- You’re everything I avo wanted! (with a picture of an everything bagel)
- This everything bagel has everything going for it.
- I’m on top of the world! (Eats an everything bagel)
- This bagel is everything bagel-icious.
- My love for you is like an everything bagel - it has everything!
- I’m having an everything-is-going-right kind of day.
- This everything bagel is the everything.
- You’re the everything to my bagel.
- I’m everything I want to bagel!
- This bagel is everything I kneaded.
Bagel and Lox Jokes: A Smoked Salmon of Humor
The classic combination of bagels and lox (smoked salmon) is a culinary match made in heaven and a comedic goldmine. These jokes often revolve around the sophisticated flavors, the cultural associations, and the delicious experience of enjoying this iconic duo. Prepare for a smoked salmon of humor!
- What do you call a bagel and lox that’s a good dancer? A salmon-rumba!
- I’m feeling lox-t without you. (Said from a bagel to a lox)
- Why did the bagel and lox get married? They were a perfect catch!
- I’m hooked on bagels and lox!
- This bagel and lox is fintastic!
- What did the salmon say to the bagel? “I’m so glad we’re together, it’s like we were meant to be smoked!”
- I’m having a reel-y good day with my bagel and lox.
- This bagel and lox is a salmon-chanted evening.
- What’s a bagel and lox’s favorite song? “Smoked Gets In Your Eyes.”
- Why was the bagel and lox so popular? Because they were always cultured and well-smoked.
Funny Bagel One-Liners: Bite-Sized Humor
Sometimes, all you need is a quick, witty one-liner to brighten your day. Bagel one-liners are perfect for a quick chuckle, offering bite-sized humor that’s easy to digest. These jokes are concise, clever, and guaranteed to deliver a satisfying dose of laughter.
- Bagels: They’re hole-some.
- I’m not a baker, but I do bagel.
- Keep calm and eat a bagel.
- Bagels: The breakfast of champions (and sleepy people).
- Feeling crumby? Have a bagel!
- Bagels: Proof that circles are delicious.
- Bagels: My daily dose of dough-pe.
- Life is what you bake it.
- Bagels: Always a good choice.
- I’m just here for the bagels.
Bagel Puns for Instagram: Captions That Are Everything
Level up your Instagram game with clever bagel puns! These captions are perfect for showcasing your delicious breakfast or brunch, adding a touch of humor to your feed. From witty wordplay to relatable food jokes, these captions are guaranteed to get likes and comments. Make your post everything!
- Bagel selfie? Doughn’t mind if I do! #BagelSelfie
- Just a girl who loves bagels. #BagelLife
- Rise and shine with this beauty! #BagelLove
- Weekend vibes brought to you by bagels. #WeekendVibes
- Fueling my adventures, one bagel at a time. #AdventureFuel
- Starting my day off right with this bageliciousness. #BreakfastGoals
- Happiness is a warm bagel. #HappyPlace
- But first, bagels. #Priorities
- I like big bagels and I cannot lie! #BigBagels
- Treat yo’ self to a bagel! #TreatYourself
Bagel Jokes for Kids: Dough-lightful Fun
Bagel jokes aren’t just for adults! These kid-friendly jokes are clean, silly, and guaranteed to bring a smile to any child’s face. From simple puns to playful scenarios, these jokes are dough-lightful fun for the whole family. Share the laughter and make breakfast even more enjoyable!
- What do you call a bagel that’s a detective? A dough-nut miss!
- Why did the bagel get a ticket? Because it was running around in circles!
- What did the baby bagel say to its mom? “I’m feeling a little crumby!”
- What do you call a bagel that’s good at math? Calcul-ate!
- Why was the bagel always invited to parties? Because it was so hole-some!
- What’s a bagel’s favorite game? Hide-and-seek!
- What do you call a bagel that’s a superhero? The Bread Crusader!
- Why did the bagel go to school? To get smarter!
- What did the bagel say to the toaster? “You make me so hot!”
- What is a bagel’s favorite subject in school? History (His-story).
