Bawlmer Laughs: The Best Baltimore Jokes and Puns!

Looking for a good laugh that’s as unique as a crab cake? Then you’ve come to the right place! Dive into the hilarious world of Baltimore humor with our collection of jokes and puns that celebrate everything Charm City has to offer, from its quirky traditions to its beloved landmarks.

We’re serving up a steaming platter of wordplay that’s sure to tickle your funny bone. Whether you’re a born-and-bred Baltimorean or just visiting, prepare to be amused by our selection of jokes that capture the spirit and flavor of this iconic city.

Bawlmer Laughs: The Best Baltimore Jokes and Puns!

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• Why did the crab get detention in Baltimore? Because it kept snapping at the teacher!
• What do you call a crab from Baltimore who’s also a comedian? A crab-cracker!
• I tried to explain Baltimore slang to my friend from out of state. It was Bawlmer difficult.
• Heard about the Baltimore bakery that only sells crab cakes? They’re doing a crabulous job!
• Why did the tourist get lost in Baltimore? He didn’t have a Bawlmer accent to ask for directions!
• My therapist told me to embrace my inner Baltimorean. Now I just crave Old Bay on everything.
• What’s a Baltimore Ravens fan’s favorite type of math? Algebra. (Alge-bra, like Alge Crumpler, get it?)
• I told my friend I was moving to Baltimore. He said, “Oh, you’re gonna harbor some good times!”
• Meme Idea: Image of a crab with Old Bay seasoning labeled “Baltimore Perfume.”
• Joke Setup: Why did the Baltimorean bring a ladder to the Inner Harbor? Punchline: He wanted to see the key! (referencing the Star-Spangled Banner Key monument)
• Meme Idea: Picture of purple sneakers. Caption: “Rockin’ my Ravens colors!”
• Short Joke: What’s a Baltimorean’s favorite type of music? Crab-core.
• Long Joke: A tourist walks into a Baltimore bar and asks the bartender, “What’s the best thing on the menu?” The bartender, with a thick Bawlmer accent, replies, “Hon, get the crab cakes. They’re wicked good. We get the crabs fresh from the Bay, steam ‘em with Old Bay, and pack ‘em in these cakes with just the right amount of filler. You won’t find nothin’ like ‘em nowhere else.” The tourist, impressed, orders the crab cakes. He takes a bite and his eyes widen. “Wow,” he says, “these really are incredible! What’s your secret?” The bartender leans in and whispers, “Hon, it’s the Old Bay.”
• Meme Idea: Picture of someone wearing a Ravens jersey and an Orioles hat simultaneously. Caption: “Baltimore Loyalty.”
• Pun: Living in Baltimore is shore thing a crabby experience… but in a good way!

Baltimore Jokes: Cracking Wise About Crab Cakes

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Crab cakes are practically synonymous with Baltimore. These savory delights are a constant source of local pride and, naturally, comedic fodder. From the perfect ratio of crab to filler to the endless debate over Old Bay, these jokes capture the essence of what it means to be a true crab cake connoisseur.

• Why did the crab cake break up with the oyster? It said, “You’re too shellfish!”
• What’s a crab cake’s favorite type of music? Old Bay-sics!
• I tried to make a joke about crab cakes, but it came out a little… claw-ful.
• A crab cake walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve your kind here.” The crab cake replies, “Why not? I’m shore to please!”
• What do you call a fake crab cake? An imposter-claw!
• I told my friend I was on a crab cake diet. He said, “That sounds delicious, not dieting!”
• Two crab cakes are talking. One says to the other, “I feel like I’m being stuffed inside.” The other replies, “Relax, it’s just part of the process. Shell we go?”
• What did the crab cake say to the sea cucumber? “You need to crab a hold of yourself!”
• I saw a crab cake wearing a tiny suit. I asked him where he was going. He said, “I have a shell-fish business meeting!”
• Why did the crab cake go to therapy? It had too many emotional shell-ues.

Baltimore Puns: A Harbor of Hilarious Wordplay

Baltimore’s Inner Harbor is a bustling hub of activity, full of sights, sounds, and, of course, puns. From the ships that come and go to the waterfront restaurants and attractions, the harbor provides ample opportunity for witty wordplay that captures the spirit of Charm City.

• I’m feeling crabby today. I guess you could say I’m a little Baltimore-d out.
• Let’s not get tide down by our problems. We can overcome them!
• What did the pirate say when he arrived in Baltimore’s Inner Harbor? “Ahoy, mateys! This is my favorite haunt!”
• I tried to make a boat joke about Baltimore. It was a total ship show.
• Why was the Inner Harbor so popular? It had a great dock-umentary selection.
• I’m shore glad to be in Baltimore!
• Let’s go explore the harbor. Sea what we can find!
• You can’t spell “Baltimore” without “more.” And I definitely want more of it!
• I wharf-el like I’m going to have a great time in Baltimore.
• What do you call a lazy kangaroo at the Baltimore Zoo? Pouch potato.

Baltimore Jokes: Natty Boh and Neighborhood Humor

Natty Boh, the mustachioed mascot of National Bohemian beer, is a Baltimore icon. Coupled with the unique character of each neighborhood, Natty Boh provides plenty of grist for the comedy mill. These jokes celebrate the local brews and the distinct personalities of Baltimore’s communities.

• Why did Natty Boh cross the road? To get to the other side of Highlandtown!
• What’s Natty Boh’s favorite movie? “The Boh-hemian Rhapsody.”
• I asked a guy in Hampden if he liked Natty Boh. He said, “Hon, does the harbor have water?”
• What do you call a Natty Boh that’s always telling stories? A Boh-hemian Rhapsodist!
• A guy walks into a bar in Fells Point and orders a Natty Boh. The bartender says, “Hey, you must be from around here!”
• Why was Natty Boh sad? Because it was feeling a little flat.
• My friend from out of town asked me what Natty Boh was. I said, “It’s the official drink of ‘Hon!‘”
• What’s Natty Boh’s favorite neighborhood? Canton, because it’s always hoppin’!
• What did the 6-pack of Natty Boh say to the fridge? Hold my beer, I’m going in!
• Why did the hipster move out of Mount Vernon? He said Natty Boh was too mainstream.

Baltimore Puns: Playing on Place Names and Local Lore

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From quirky neighborhood names like Hampden and Fells Point to the legendary tale of Edgar Allan Poe’s mysterious death, Baltimore’s place names and local lore are ripe for punning. These jokes draw on the city’s unique history and geography to create humorous wordplay.

• I’m feeling Fell-tastic about being in Fells Point!
• Poe-sitively thrilled to be visiting Baltimore!
• Why did the tourist love Patterson Park? It was park-tacular!
• Let’s go to Hampden and see what’s up the avenue!
• Baltimore is always ready for a Hamptons party.
• What do you call a sad building in Mount Vernon? A monumento-l waste of space!
• Don’t get Patterson’d by negativity; be positive!
• I’m going to try and make you laugh, just give me a Fells tries.
• Baltimore Museum of Art? Art-rageous.
• What do you call a great cafe in Fed Hill? Un-federal-lie good!

Baltimore Jokes: Bawlmer Accents and Unique Phrases

The “Bawlmer” accent is legendary, filled with dropped “r’s” and unique pronunciations. Coupled with local phrases like “Hon” and “Crab,” it’s a comedic goldmine. These jokes lovingly poke fun at the distinctive way Baltimoreans speak and the colorful expressions they use.

• How do you ask for water in Baltimore? “Can I get some wooter, Hon?”
• What do you call a Baltimorean who’s good at math? An “add-it-tion-er.”
• I asked a guy in Baltimore how to get to the zoo. He said, “Hon, just follow the bahds!”
• What did the Baltimorean say to the seagull? “Git outta heah, yah nasty bird!”
• Why did the tourist get lost in Baltimore? He couldn’t understand the local lingo, Hon!
• What does a Baltimorean call a really big bird? A giant bahd!
• Heard about the Ravens fan who learned to speak parrot? Now all he says is, “Caw! Caw!”
• Why did the Out-of-State Visitor fail the Baltimore pronunciation test? He said Warshington.
• How do you know if a Baltimorean is lying? They’re talking like they’re from Philadelphia.
• What did the Baltimorean say to the crab? “Hon, you look mighty tasty!”

Baltimore Puns: Seafood Sensations and Ocean Gags

Baltimore’s proximity to the Chesapeake Bay means seafood is a staple. From steamed crabs to oysters on the half shell, the ocean’s bounty provides endless opportunities for seafood-themed puns. These jokes celebrate the delicious delicacies that make Baltimore a seafood lover’s paradise.

• I’m feeling fintastic after that seafood dinner!
• Don’t be koi, come try the seafood!
• Let’s shell-ebrate with some oysters!
• I’m hooked on Baltimore seafood!
• What do you call a crab who’s a good singer? A crooner-crab!
• I tried to tell a joke about shrimp, but it was too shellfish.
• Feeling crabby? Get over it.
• Don’t be such a crab!
• I’m having a whale of a time eating seafood in Baltimore!
• You octopi my heart, Baltimore seafood!

Baltimore Jokes: Sports, Ravens, and Orioles Giggles

Baltimore is a city that lives and breathes sports, especially the Ravens and the Orioles. From nail-biting games to passionate fans, these teams inspire a unique brand of humor. These jokes celebrate the highs, the lows, and the unwavering loyalty of Baltimore’s sports fans.

• Why did the Orioles bring a ladder to the game? They wanted to get to the top of the standings!
• What do you call a Ravens player who’s always late? A procrastinator-back!
• What do the Baltimore Orioles and the Loch Ness Monster have in common? They’re both talked about, but nobody’s seen them lately.
• What did the football say to the Ravens quarterback? “Hold me tight, I’m going for a spiral!”
• Why did the baseball player bring a ladder to the plate? He wanted to get a hit over the fence!
• What do you call a baby Raven? A Cor-ling.
• What do you call a bird that sings when it’s been robbed? An Oriole.
• What do you call an Oriole that can’t hit? A strike-out bird.
• Why did the Ravens go to therapy? They had too much pass interference.
• A fan asked the stadium what’s the difference between the Orioles and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

Baltimore Puns: Monumental Laughs and City Sightseeing

From the Washington Monument to quirky public art installations, Baltimore’s monuments and sightseeing spots are part of the city’s charm. These locations provide the perfect backdrop for puns that highlight the unique attractions and the joy of exploring Charm City.

• Let’s make this city tour Poe-tentially amazing!
• I’m having a monument-al time sightseeing in Baltimore!
• Don’t take Baltimore for granite, it’s a great place!
• What does the Washington Monument say? “I am a-stone-ished by your greatness!”
• Exploring Baltimore is a real art-venture!
• The Baltimore Museum of Art is arte-rageous.
• That sculpture at the American Visionary Art Museum is art-standing.
• What did the statue say to the tour guide? “I’m feeling a little stone-ly.”
• I’m going to visit the aquarium, it’s gonna be fintastic.
• It’s shore to be a great time exploring the inner harbor.