· Life Events Puns And Jokes · 8 min read
Bun in the Oven of Laughter: The Best Birth Jokes & Puns!
Get ready to deliver some laughs! Hilarious birth jokes and puns that'll have you crying with joy (and maybe contractions!).
Ready to laugh ‘til you cry? Get ready to experience the miracle of humor with our collection of hilarious birth jokes and puns! We’ve scoured the internet (and maybe even eavesdropped in a few waiting rooms) to bring you the best and birthest puns guaranteed to deliver a smile.
Whether you’re an expecting parent, a seasoned pro, or just someone who appreciates a good groan-worthy joke, prepare for a delivery of laughter. From labor pains to baby names, we’ve got birth jokes and puns for every stage of the journey.
So, buckle up, grab your epidural of giggles, and prepare to be dilated with delight. Let’s dive into the wonderfully weird world of birth-related humor!
Bun in the Oven of Laughter: The Best Birth Jokes & Puns!
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- Why did the baby refuse to come out? He wasn’t ready for the delivery charges!
- I tried to make a birth-related pun…but it was stillborn.
- “Doctor, I think my wife is having contractions!” “Are they regular?” “No, they’re all different shapes!”
- Meme: Image of a baby wearing sunglasses with the caption: “Straight outta the womb.”
- What do you call a baby that’s always getting into trouble? A born troublemaker.
- My wife asked me what she should wear to the baby shower. I told her “Something roomy.” She wasn’t amused.
- Two babies are in the womb. One says to the other, “Do you believe in life after delivery?”
- Meme: A picture of a very tired-looking new parent with the caption: “Sleep? What’s sleep?”
- Why did the stork get a speeding ticket? He was making a delivery!
- Joke: Doctor: “Congratulations, it’s a boy!” Dad: “Wow! What are his first words?”
- Meme: Picture of a baby covered in food with the caption: “Nailed it.”
- I told my pregnant friend she was glowing. She said, “It’s probably just sweat.”
- Puns about umbilical cords are always… attached.
- Meme: A baby holding a phone with the caption “Hello World!”
- Why did the baby bring a pencil to the birth? He wanted to draw attention to himself!
Birth Jokes: A Labor of Laughs
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Birth is a serious and often intense event, but that doesn’t mean we can’t find humor in it. Birth jokes offer a lighthearted way to approach this monumental moment, providing much-needed comic relief for parents, medical professionals, and anyone who’s been through the miracle of life. Let’s dive into some laughter!
- What did the baby say to the belly button? You’re an innie!
- I told my wife I was going to deliver the baby. She said, “You’re not a doctor!” I said, “I know, but I can still hand her stuff!”
- Why did the pregnant woman bring a ladder to the hospital? She wanted to go into labor on a higher level!
- My wife is 9 months pregnant. I’m pretty sure she’s just holding in a fart at this point.
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Chris. Chris who? Chris-tening bells are ringing!
- What do you call a baby that doesn’t want to be born? Resistant.
- I saw a sign that said “Baby on Board.” I was thinking, “Yeah, but which board game?”
- My wife asked me to go get her a pregnancy test. I said, “Are you sure? You’ve been eating pickles and ice cream for a week.”
- Giving birth is like running a marathon…but at the end, you get a prize and no medal.
- Warning: I’m in labor. Do not approach unless you have snacks.
Funny Birth Announcement Puns to Welcome Baby
Announcing the arrival of your little one is a special occasion. Why not add a touch of humor with a clever birth announcement pun? These puns are a delightful way to share your joy and make your announcement stand out. Get ready to spread the laughter and love!
- “Oh, baby, baby! We’re smitten with our new addition!”
- “We’re over the moon to announce the arrival of…”
- “Hello world! We’ve been expectantly waiting for…”
- “Our greatest adventure has just begun! Welcome…”
- “Looks like we herd correctly! Our little lamb has arrived!”
- “A star is born! Please welcome…”
- “We’ve been promoted to parents! Meet…”
- “Our family just got a koala-ty addition!”
- “Warning: May cause extreme cuteness. Introducing…”
- “We’re tickled pink (or blue!) to announce…”
Birth Puns: Contractions of Comedy
Contractions can be painful, but birth puns? Pure comedic gold! These puns offer a humorous perspective on the labor process, turning the intensity of the moment into a source of laughter. Because sometimes, you just have to laugh to get through it all.
- Having a baby is like a walk in the park…Jurassic Park!
- I’m in labor, and I’m not lion!
- My wife’s water broke at the library. Now we have overdue books…and a baby!
- Why did the woman name her baby ‘Ruler’? Because she had to measure the contractions!
- What’s a pregnant woman’s favorite type of math? Multipli-cation!
- My wife’s contractions are getting closer together… I guess you could say things are getting intense.
- Is it just me, or do contractions feel like someone’s trying to breakdance inside me?
- My birth plan is “Get the baby out!”
- I’m not sure what’s more painful, the contractions or the hospital bill.
- I tried to tell a joke during labor, but the timing was off. Apparently, delivery is everything.
Dad Jokes About Birth That Are Truly Delivering
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Dads are known for their unique brand of humor, and birth-related dad jokes are no exception. These jokes are guaranteed to elicit groans and eye-rolls, but also a few chuckles. Get ready for some truly delivering dad jokes that will make you question everything.
- What do you call a baby with no body? Nobody!
- I asked my wife if she was feeling contractions. She said, “I don’t know, I’m not a contractor!”
- Why did the stork get a speeding ticket? He was making deliveries too fast!
- I told my pregnant wife she looked glowing. She said it was probably just sweat.
- What did the baby say to the diaper? You crack me up!
- Being a dad is like a never-ending diaper commercial.
- I’m not sure what’s more exhausting, changing diapers or coming up with these jokes.
- My wife said I need to be more supportive during labor. So I started holding up signs with funny faces.
- What’s a baby’s favorite game? Peek-a-boo-boo!
- I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down… just like a newborn!
Pregnancy Puns: Growing the Humor Inside
Pregnancy is a journey filled with unique experiences, and pregnancy puns are the perfect way to capture the humor of it all. These puns offer a lighthearted take on the joys and challenges of growing a human inside. Get ready to laugh along with the journey!
- I’m not fat, I’m just pregnant…with potential!
- Feeling a little prego-nant.
- I’m egg-specting a little one!
- Feeling bump-tastic!
- I’m whale-y excited about this baby!
- Having a baby is udderly amazing!
- I’m blooming with happiness!
- I’m nesting and feeling eggs-hausted!
- Officially preggo sauce!
- This pregnancy is driving me batty!
Birth Jokes for Midwives and Doulas
Midwives and doulas play a crucial role in the birthing process, offering support and guidance. These birth jokes provide some lighthearted relief for these amazing professionals, acknowledging their dedication with a touch of humor. Because even superheroes need a laugh!
- Why was the midwife so good at her job? She had excellent delivery skills!
- Did you hear about the midwife who opened a bakery? She specialized in delivering buns in the oven!
- What do you call a midwife who loves to garden? A placenta-grower!
- A midwife, a doula, and an OBGYN walk into a bar… the bartender says, “Looks like you’ve got a delivery!”
- Midwife’s mantra: Keep calm and help them push.
- I’m a doula, I know things. I’ve seen things.
- Why did the midwife become a detective? She was great at finding clues about the baby’s position!
- A midwife’s superpower: Turning stress into strength.
- What’s a midwife’s favorite type of music? Labor-atory beats!
- A midwife’s job is 9 months of planning followed by 12 hours of chaos.
Labor Pains Puns: Finding the Funny in the Fray
Labor pains are no joke, but sometimes laughter can be the best medicine. These puns offer a humorous way to cope with the intensity of labor, finding the funny even in the midst of the fray. Because a little bit of humor can go a long way.
- These contractions are making me lose my contractions.
- Labor is a real pain in the uterus.
- I’m not sure what hurts more, the contractions or the hospital bill.
- I’m labor-ing under the assumption that this will all be worth it.
- Contractions: bringing people together since the dawn of time.
- I’m in labor. Send help…and snacks.
- My pain level is somewhere between “I stubbed my toe” and “I’m being attacked by a bear.”
- I’m pretty sure I’m experiencing labor-atory conditions.
- Contractions are like waves… painful, rhythmic waves.
- I’m not screaming, I’m just testing the soundproofing of this room.
Baby Name Puns: A Bundle of Laughs
Choosing a baby name is a big decision, so why not have some fun with it? Baby name puns offer a lighthearted way to consider different names, adding a touch of humor to the process. Get ready for a bundle of laughs as you explore these punny possibilities!
- Having a girl? Holly cow, that’s exciting!
- Boy, oh boy! Let’s name him Forrest, so he can Forrest Gump all over the house.
- She’s a Rose among thorns… literally, because she’s teething.
- Alfie you don’t stop crying, I’m gonna lose it!
- Is your baby Justin time for the holidays?
- Naming my baby Arthur…because I’m pulling him out!
- Willow you please stop crying? Mommy needs a nap!
- Little Hazel is a real nut!
- Congrats on your little Oliver Twist!
- Ethan you believe how cute this baby is?!
