· NBA Puns And Jokes  · 10 min read

Celtics Humor: The Best Boston Celtics Jokes and Puns!

Get your green on! Laugh your way to victory with these hilarious Boston Celtics jokes and puns. Go Celtics!

Are you a die-hard Celtics fan with a sense of humor? Or maybe you just appreciate a good pun? Either way, you’ve come to the right place! Get ready to green with laughter as we dive into a collection of the best Boston Celtics jokes and puns that are sure to score some points with your friends.

From witty one-liners about legendary players to clever wordplay about iconic moments, we’ve compiled a slam-dunk list that will have you chuckling all the way to the championship. So, grab your lucky jersey, settle in, and prepare for some seriously funny Celtics-themed entertainment!

Celtics Humor: The Best Boston Celtics Jokes and Puns!


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  • Why did the basketball player bring a ladder to the Celtics game? He heard they were playing against the Nets!
  • What do you call a Celtics fan who’s lost their lucky jersey? De-fanted!
  • I tried to write a song about the Celtics, but I kept fouling out.
  • Why did the Celtics player get sent to the principal’s office? He was caught dribbling in the hallway!
  • A Celtics fan walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia. The librarian whispers, “They’re right behind you!”
  • I told my wife I was going to a Celtics game last night. She said, “Don’t come back until they win!” Guess who’s sleeping on the couch?…Still worth it!
  • What’s a Celtics fan’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good beat!
  • Why did the Celtics fire their chef? He kept serving up nothing but turnovers!
  • Heard the Celtics went to therapy. They were having trouble with team work…it was a process.
  • Two Celtics fans are walking down the street. One says, “Did you hear about the new Celtics mascot?” The other replies, “No, what is it?” The first fan says, “It’s a four-leaf clover…because they need all the luck they can get!” (Said with affection, of course!)
  • Doctor: “I’ve got some bad news. You’re obsessed with the Boston Celtics.” Patient: “But doc, I don’t even watch basketball!” Doctor: “Exactly!”
  • What do you call a Celtics player who can perform magic tricks? A Jayson Tatum-er!
  • I asked a Celtics player if he was good at math. He said, “I’m great at scoring!”
  • Why did the Celtics player break up with his girlfriend? She kept saying their relationship was just a “rebuild”.
  • A Celtics fan is sitting at a bar, looking glum. The bartender asks, “What’s wrong?” The fan sighs and says, “I just saw a psychic, and she said the Celtics won’t win another championship for 50 years!” The bartender replies, “Well, at least you’ll be alive to see it!” The fan bursts into tears, “I’m 65!”

Boston Celtics Jokes: Classic One-Liners


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Classic Celtics jokes are the bread and butter of any fan’s arsenal. These one-liners are quick, easy to remember, and perfect for a casual jab at a rival fan or a lighthearted moment with fellow Celtics supporters. They often rely on simple puns or observations about the team’s history and culture.

Boston Celtics Jokes: Classic One-Liners

  • What do you call a lazy kangaroo in a Celtics jersey? Pouch potato!
  • Why did the basketball player bring a ladder to the Celtics game? He heard the team needed to get to the next level!
  • What’s a basketball player’s favorite subject in school? Geo-metry! Especially when drawing up plays for the Celtics.
  • Why did the Celtics player get a time-out? He needed to take a Brady!
  • What’s a Celtic fan’s favorite type of bread? Green sourdough!
  • Why did the basketball team go to jail? They shot the ball too much! The Celtics rarely do that, though.
  • What do you call a Celtics player who can’t shoot? A liability!
  • Why did the Celtics player bring a pencil to the game? In case he needed to draw a foul!
  • Why did the Celtics fan bring a blanket to the game? He heard the competition was cold!
  • What’s a Celtics fan’s favorite instrument? A sham-rock and roll guitar!

Boston Celtics Puns: Wordplay That Scores

Celtics puns offer a clever twist on basketball terminology and the team’s iconic imagery. These jokes often incorporate words related to the sport, the city of Boston, or notable players. A good pun can elevate a simple joke into a truly memorable moment of shared laughter among fans.

Boston Celtics Puns: Wordplay That Scores

  • I’m a huge Celtics fan; you could say I’m feeling green with envy for anyone who isn’t!
  • The Celtics are so good, they always net results.
  • I tried to explain Celtics basketball to my friend, but he just didn’t court it.
  • Watching the Celtics play is my shamrock solid plan for the evening.
  • Don’t foul around; the Celtics are the best team in the league!
  • The Celtics’ offense is so smooth, it’s like they’re playing on auto-pilot.
  • After a Celtics win, I’m always feeling Boston strong!
  • Being a Celtics fan is a ball!
  • Some say the Celtics’ chances are slim, but I’m a believer!
  • The Celtics’ success is no mystery, it’s a Celtic solution!

Boston Celtics Player Jokes: Targeting the Legends

Jokes about specific Celtics players, especially legends like Larry Bird, Bill Russell, or Paul Pierce, often highlight their unique personalities, skills, or career moments. These jokes play on the nostalgia and admiration fans have for these iconic figures and their contributions to the team’s legacy.

Boston Celtics Player Jokes: Targeting the Legends

  • Why did Larry Bird cross the road? To prove he could do it better than everyone else!
  • Bill Russell was so good, he could block shots in his sleep!
  • What’s Paul Pierce’s favorite food? The Truth Sandwich!
  • Did you hear about the statue of Larry Bird? They said it was a “Bird-brain” idea, but it looks great!
  • Why did Bill Russell refuse to play against himself? Because he knew he couldn’t beat himself!
  • What did Paul Pierce say when he won a championship? “This is the Truth!”
  • Larry Bird once played an entire game with his eyes closed. He still scored 30 points! (Probably a legend.)
  • Bill Russell’s presence was so strong, opponents would forfeit before the game even started. (Another Legend!)
  • Paul Pierce is so clutch, they should rename the fourth quarter “Pierce Time.”
  • What do you call Larry Bird when he’s playing golf? A hole-in-one-der!

Boston Celtics Jokes About the Rivalries: Heating Up the Humor


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Celtics rivalries, particularly with the Los Angeles Lakers, Philadelphia 76ers, and Miami Heat, provide rich material for jokes. These jokes often poke fun at the opposing team’s weaknesses, or highlight the intense competition and historical battles between the Celtics and their rivals.

Boston Celtics Jokes About the Rivalries: Heating Up the Humor

  • What do the Lakers and a broken pencil have in common? They’re both pointless! (Especially against the Celtics).
  • Why did the Sixers bring a ladder to the game against the Celtics? They heard they were going to need to climb to get anywhere near their level.
  • What do you call a Miami Heat fan? Lost! (Especially when playing the Celtics.)
  • Why did the Lakers fan cross the road? To get away from the Celtics’ celebration parade!
  • How many Lakers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they can’t seem to get it done! The Celtics would’ve done it already.
  • What’s the difference between the Sixers and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer! (Referencing Celtics success).
  • Heard the Miami Heat are starting a new team… of cheerleaders!
  • A Lakers fan, a Sixers fan, and a Celtics fan are in a boat… who gets thrown overboard? Who cares, the Celtics are winning!
  • What did the Celtics say to the Lakers after winning? “See you next time… never!”
  • If the Lakers and Sixers were on fire, and I had water, I’d drink it. Go Celtics!

Funny Boston Celtics Memes and Jokes: Internet Gold

The internet has amplified Celtics humor through memes and viral jokes. These often feature images of players, coaches, or iconic moments, combined with witty captions and relatable scenarios. These memes spread rapidly among fans, creating a shared sense of camaraderie and amusement.

Funny Boston Celtics Memes and Jokes: Internet Gold

  • (Image of a Celtics player looking intensely focused) “Me trying to calculate how many championships we’ll win this decade.”
  • (Image of a frustrated Lakers fan) “Me watching the Celtics win another game.”
  • (Image of a happy Celtics fan) “When you realize the Celtics are about to sweep the playoffs.”
  • (Picture of a Shamrock) “When someone asks what the Celtics secret weapon is.”
  • (Doge Meme with a Celtics Jersey) “So amaze. Such win. Very Celtics.”
  • (Image of Danny Ainge smiling) “When you pull off another genius trade.”
  • (Image of a Celtics player dunking) “How Celtics fans feel when the team is dominating.”
  • (Image of a leprechaun) “Celtics fans hoping for some luck during the game.”
  • (Drake meme) “Approving: The Celtics / Disapproving: Any other team”
  • (Distracted Boyfriend Meme) “Boyfriend: Basketball / Girlfriend: Other Teams / Distracted Boyfriend: Celtics”

Boston Celtics Championship Jokes: Celebrating the Wins

Jokes about the Celtics’ impressive championship history are a source of pride for fans. These jokes often reference the team’s multiple titles, their dominance in certain eras, and the tradition of winning that permeates the organization. It is a celebration of the Celtics legacy.

Boston Celtics Championship Jokes: Celebrating the Wins

  • How many championships do the Celtics have? Enough to make other teams jealous!
  • What’s the Celtics’ favorite number? 17 (and counting)!
  • Why are the Celtics so good at winning championships? They’ve had a lot of practice!
  • What did the Celtics say when they won another championship? “Adding another banner to the collection!”
  • You know what’s better than one Celtics championship? Seventeen of them!
  • What do you call the Celtics’ trophy room? Heaven.
  • Why is the Celtics’ championship banner so big? It has to contain all those titles!
  • What do the Celtics and a pizza have in common? They both have lots of slices (championships)!
  • Did you hear the Celtics are building a new arena? It’s just to hold all their championship trophies.
  • What’s a Celtic fan’s favorite lullaby? “Sweet dreams are made of championships…”

Boston Celtics Jokes for Kids: Family-Friendly Fun

Celtics jokes for kids need to be clean, simple, and easy to understand. They often focus on basketball basics, team colors, and mascot antics. These jokes are perfect for introducing young fans to the humor and camaraderie surrounding the Boston Celtics.

Boston Celtics Jokes for Kids: Family-Friendly Fun

  • What’s a basketball’s favorite dessert? Dunkin’ Donuts! Especially in Boston!
  • Why did the basketball get sent to his room? He was dribbling on the walls!
  • What do you call a basketball player who can’t hear? Anything you want, he can’t hear you!
  • What do you call a basketball player who’s always tired? A dribble-down!
  • Why did the Celtics leprechaun bring a ladder to the game? Because he wanted to get a shot at winning!
  • What is a leprechaun’s favorite basketball move? The shamrock shake and bake!
  • Why did the basketball coach go to the bank? To get his quarter back!
  • What did the basketball say to the hoop? I go through you!
  • What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta! Just like some Celtic imposters!
  • Why are basketball players good at math? They know how to calculate their shots!

Boston Celtics Jokes: Predictions Gone Wrong

These jokes revolve around humorous predictions that didn’t come true, often involving bold statements or overconfident expectations about the Celtics’ performance. They highlight the unpredictable nature of sports and the fun of friendly banter among fans when predictions go awry.

Boston Celtics Jokes: Predictions Gone Wrong

  • Remember when everyone said the Celtics were rebuilding in 2008? Yeah, they won a championship.
  • I predicted the Celtics would go undefeated this season. Still working on it! (It’s always next season!)
  • Someone said the Celtics wouldn’t make the playoffs last year… oops!
  • I bet my friend the Celtics would sweep the Lakers in the finals. I owe him a lot of pizza.
  • They said the Celtics’ winning streak would never end… it did, eventually.
  • Remember when everyone said [Insert Former Player] was the next superstar?
  • I predicted the Celtics would score 200 points in a game once. Still waiting.
  • Someone told me the Celtics would never win another championship… They were wrong!
  • I thought the Celtics’ mascot would learn to fly by now. Still waiting for that one.
  • They predicted the Celtics would lose every game this season. Guess what? They were terribly wrong!
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