150 Best Cashew Jokes Youll Go Nuts Over The Funniest Puns

Feeling a little nutty today? Get ready to shell out some laughs because we’re diving headfirst into the wonderful world of cashew jokes and puns!

If you’re craving a dose of nutty humor, you’ve come to the right place. Prepare for a hilarious harvest of cashew jokes that are guaranteed to crack you up.

From clever wordplay to nutty observations, these cashew jokes are perfect for sharing with friends or just enjoying a good chuckle yourself. Let’s get cracking!

Best Cashew Jokes Youll Go Nuts Over The Funniest Puns

• Why did the cashew break up with the peanut? He said she was too nutty to be with!
• I tried to make a cashew-based cheese, but it was a complete utter failure. I guess you could say I went a little too *cashew-ally* into it.
• What do you call a cashew that’s a secret agent? Agent Nutty-Seven.
• My therapist told me to embrace my nutty side. I guess I’ll start by buying a lifetime supply of cashews.
• I’m writing a book about cashews. It’s going to be a real nut-cracker!
• Two cashews were walking down the street. One was assaulted. The other one was a-salted.
• Why are cashews such bad gamblers? Because they’re always going out on a limb!
• I told my cashew to stop cracking jokes. It was getting a little too nutty.
• What’s a cashew’s favorite type of music? Nut-metal!
• I’m starting a cashew-themed restaurant. The grand opening is going to be nuts!
• I accidentally glued myself to a bag of cashews. Now I’m stuck in a nutty situation.
• Why did the cashew get a promotion? Because he was always very *pro-ductive*.
• I’m feeling a little down today, I think I need to cashew-lly cheer myself up with a handful of nuts.
• My friend said I have a cashew obsession. I told him, “That’s just nuts!”
• I saw a cashew running for president. His platform was simply, “More Nuts!”

Cashew Jokes: The Nuttiest One-Liners You’ll Ever Read

Ready to go nuts? “Cashew Jokes: The Nuttiest One-Liners You’ll Ever Read” delivers exactly what it promises – a collection of cashew-centric jokes and puns so corny, they’re good! Prepare for nutty wordplay and guaranteed giggles. It’s the perfect snack-sized humor for any cashew lover.

• I tried to start a cashew-themed dating app called “Nutty Matches,” but it turned out most singles were looking for something more substantial than a casual fling with someone who might just shell out and ghost them.
• I’m convinced my neighbor is a cashew in disguise; they’re always hanging around the health food store, wearing beige clothing, and have a suspiciously smooth and curved physique, a true nutty enigma.
• My therapist suggested I try “cashew-al” dating: approaching relationships with a laid-back attitude and avoiding any serious commitment, but I just ended up feeling lonely and slightly unsalted.
• I attempted to build a cashew-powered car, but it only ran on pure nutty enthusiasm, leaving me stranded halfway to the grocery store with a grumbling stomach and a craving for gasoline, a true nut-mobile failure.
• I tried to make a cashew-themed self-help book, but it was difficult to establish a plot beyond telling the reader to embrace their inner nut and to be a little more proactive on the path to self-discovery.
• I saw a cashew attending a therapy session; apparently, it was struggling with its identity, torn between being a healthy snack and a decadent ingredient in desserts, a true nutty existential crisis.
• Why did the cashew get a job as a librarian? Because it loved to be surrounded by books and offer recommendations to anyone who needed a little nutty inspiration.
• My therapist suggested I try “cashew-al” encounters with nature, spending time outdoors and connecting with the earth, but I just ended up getting bitten by mosquitos and craving a handful of salted snacks.
• I’m starting a cashew-themed support group for nuts struggling with low self-esteem; we’ll focus on embracing our unique shapes and celebrating our creamy goodness, one salted meeting at a time, a true nutty positive movement.
• I tried to make a cashew-themed perfume, but it just smelled like slightly roasted disappointment, proving that some things are best left to the realm of snacking rather than olfactory artistry, a true scent-sational failure.
• I told my friend I was going to open a cashew-themed gym where we’ll do squats while holding bags of nuts and cardio by running from the shell cracker, he said that sounded half-baked.
• I tried to make a cashew-themed dating app, but it failed because everyone was too afraid of commitment and didn’t want to get too attached to someone who might ghost them after the first date.
• I’m writing a children’s book about a cashew who dreams of becoming a famous dancer, it’s a tale of determination, dedication, and a whole lot of nutty moves, hoping to inspire young readers to follow their dreams.
• I saw a group of cashews staging a protest; they were demanding better working conditions and more equal distribution of salt, a call for nutty justice and a more equitable snack industry.
• My boss asked me to come up with a new marketing strategy, and I suggested a cashew-themed campaign with the slogan “Go Cashew-al and embrace life,” surprisingly, they didn’t go for it.

Cashew Puns for Kids: Clean and Corny Fun

Looking for some nutty humor to crack up your kids? “Cashew Puns for Kids: Clean and Corny Fun” is packed with cashew jokes and puns perfect for young audiences. These jokes are silly, lighthearted, and guaranteed to bring smiles without being inappropriate. Get ready for some shell-arious laughter!

• I tried to build a cashew-powered rocket ship, but it only made it a few feet off the ground and then crash-landed, proving that some dreams are just too nutty to achieve liftoff, but at least it was a delicious failure.
• My therapist suggested I try “cashew-al dating,” approaching relationships with a laid-back attitude and avoiding serious commitment, but I just ended up feeling lonely and slightly unsalted.
• I’m convinced my cat is plotting a cashew heist; he spends hours staring at the nut bowl, calculating angles, and practicing his stealth moves, a true feline foodie mastermind in the making.
• I attempted to train my parrot to say “I love cashews,” but all it squawked was “Polly wants a nut!” and now it demands a handful of snacks every five minutes, a true feathery foodie with a cashew craving.
• I saw a group of cashews staging a protest; they were demanding better working conditions and more equal distribution of salt, a call for nutty justice and a more equitable snack industry.
• My therapist suggested I try “cashew-lating” my anxieties, imagining them as tiny nuts that I can crack open and discard, but I just ended up feeling guilty about destroying perfectly good snacks.
• I tried to make a cashew-themed perfume, but it just smelled like slightly roasted disappointment, proving that some things are best left to the realm of snacking rather than olfactory artistry, a true scent-sational failure.
• My doctor told me to lower my sodium intake, so I started soaking my cashews in water before eating them, now they taste like soggy sadness and a missed opportunity for a delicious snack.
• Why did the cashew get a job as a librarian? Because it loved to be surrounded by books and offer recommendations to anyone who needed a little nutty inspiration, hoping to become the most well-read snack in town.
• I’m starting a cashew-themed dating service called “Nutty Matches,” where singles can find their perfect creamy counterpart and build a love that’s smooth and satisfying, creating a snack-tastic romance.
• I tried to explain the theory of relativity to my cashews, but they just stared back at me blankly, proving that some things are simply too complex for even the most intelligent snack to comprehend.
• I tried to write a heartfelt poem about my love for cashews, but it just ended up being a cheesy ode to creamy goodness, proving that some feelings are best expressed through snacking.
• I accidentally joined a cashew appreciation society; it was a gathering of like-minded individuals who shared a love of all things nutty and delicious, and I felt right at home.
• Two cashews were walking down the street, one was assaulted, the other was a-salted.
• Why did the cashew start a YouTube channel? Because it wanted to share its nutty wisdom with the world and become a viral sensation, one delicious video at a time, hoping to crack the code to online success.

Cashew Jokes for Adults: A Little Salty, A Lot Funny

Looking for cashew jokes with a bit more bite? “Cashew Jokes for Adults” delivers humor that’s a little salty and a lot funny. Forget the kid-friendly stuff; this collection dives into the nutty depths with puns and gags perfect for adult sensibilities. Prepare for laughter that’s anything but shelled!

• I tried to start a cashew-themed self-help group called “De-Shell Yourself,” but everyone was too afraid to open up and expose their nutty vulnerabilities, resulting in a very guarded and unsalted gathering.
• My therapist suggested I try “cashew-lating” my anxieties by imagining them as tiny nuts I can crack and discard, but I just ended up with a craving for trail mix and a profound sense of snacking satisfaction.
• I saw a cashew applying for a job as a stand-up comedian, boasting a repertoire of nutty one-liners and a talent for cracking up audiences with its creamy, comedic delivery.
• I attempted to build a cashew-powered car wash, but it only produced a milky, nut-infused rinse that left vehicles looking slightly confused and smelling faintly of trail mix.
• I tried to train my parrot to say “I love cashews,” but all I got was a squawking critique of their salt content and a demand for more sunflower seeds, a true avian snack snob.
• I saw a cashew roller skating down the street, really root-ing for the competition and hoping it could cut the mustard, a true vegetable athlete with a penchant for acrobatics.
• I tried to start a cashew-themed dating app called “Nutty for You”, but it failed because most people were looking for more than just a casual fling with someone who might ghost them after the first date.
• I accidentally wore my cashew-patterned socks to a job interview; it was awkward, but I did get a lot of compliments on my “bold” fashion choice and an offer to cater the next office snack break with gourmet nut mixes.
• I’m convinced that cashews hold the secret to eternal youth; my great-grandmother has been eating them every day for 100 years, and she still has the energy to chase squirrels out of her garden.
• My therapist suggested I try “cashew-al dating,” approaching relationships with a laid-back attitude and avoiding serious commitment, but I just ended up feeling lonely and slightly unsalted, a true nutty predicament.
• I tried to make a cashew-themed perfume, but it just smelled like slightly roasted disappointment, proving that some things are best left to the realm of snacking rather than olfactory artistry.
• Why did the cashew get a job as a librarian? Because it loved to be surrounded by books and offer recommendations to anyone who needed a little nutty inspiration, hoping to become the most well-read snack in town.
• I saw a group of cashews staging a protest; they were demanding better working conditions and more equal distribution of salt, a call for nutty justice and a more equitable snack industry.
• I’m convinced my cat thinks cashews are tiny, edible brains made of creamy goodness; it spends hours staring at them, plotting its next nutty heist, a true feline foodie with a cerebral craving.
• I attempted to write a serious poem about cashews, but it just kept turning into a cheesy ode to creamy goodness, proving that some feelings are best expressed through snacking.

Cashew Puns: Perfect Instagram Captions for Your Nutty Snaps

Feeling a little nutty? Your cashew photos deserve equally delightful captions! Dive into a world of cashew puns for Instagram. From “cashew later” to “feeling cashewy,” these playful jokes will add a hilarious touch to your posts. Guaranteed to make your followers smile, or maybe even go a little nuts…

• I tried to start a cashew-themed self-help group, but everyone was too shelled up to open up about their nutty issues, resulting in a very closed-off and unsalted gathering that cracked under the pressure of vulnerability.
• I’m pretty sure my spirit animal is a cashew; creamy, curved, and always craving a little salt, it just knows how to kick back, relax, and enjoy life, a true nutty inspiration for a stress-free existence.
• Why did the cashew get a job as a detective? Because it had a knack for cracking cases and getting to the bottom of every nutty mystery, hoping to bring justice to the snack-time underworld.
• I tried to explain the complexities of quantum physics to my bag of cashews, but they just stared back at me blankly, proving that some things are simply too abstract for even the most enlightened snack to comprehend.
• I saw a cashew roller skating down the street, it was really root-ing for the competition and hoping it could cut the mustard, a true vegetable athlete with a penchant for acrobatics.
• I’m starting a cashew-themed dating app called “Nutty Matches”, but it failed because most people were looking for more than just a casual fling with someone who might ghost them after the first date.
• My therapist suggested I try “cashew-lating” my anxieties by imagining them as tiny nuts I can crack and discard, but I just ended up with a craving for trail mix and a profound sense of snacking satisfaction.
• I’m convinced my cat thinks cashews are tiny, edible brains made of creamy goodness; it spends hours staring at them, plotting its next nutty heist, a true feline foodie with a cerebral craving.
• I tried to make a cashew-themed perfume, but it just smelled like slightly roasted disappointment, proving that some things are best left to the realm of snacking rather than olfactory artistry, a true scent-sational failure.
• I attempted to build a cashew-powered car wash, but it only produced a milky, nut-infused rinse that left vehicles looking slightly confused and smelling faintly of trail mix.
• I tried to make a cashew-themed dating app, but it was difficult to establish a plot beyond telling the reader to embrace their inner nut and to be a little more proactive on the path to self-discovery.
• I’m convinced that cashews hold the secret to eternal youth; my great-grandmother has been eating them every day for 100 years, and she still has the energy to chase squirrels out of her garden.
• Why did the cashew start a YouTube channel? Because it wanted to share its nutty wisdom with the world and become a viral sensation, one delicious video at a time, hoping to crack the code to online success.
• I asked my cashew for dating advice, but it just told me to stay grounded, be myself, and don’t be afraid to go out on a limb; I guess it’s hard to get relationship help from a nut.
• I accidentally wore my cashew-patterned socks to a job interview; it was awkward, but I did get a lot of compliments on my “bold” fashion choice and an offer to cater the next office snack break with gourmet nut mixes.

Online Cashew Jokes: Viral Humor From the Web’s Nuttiest Corners

Craving a laugh? Dive into the nutty world of online cashew jokes! The internet’s a shell of fun, cracking open viral cashew humor from the web’s punniest corners. From cashew-al puns to truly off-the-wall gags, these jokes are guaranteed to make you smile, even if they are a little… cheesy.

• My therapist suggested I try “cashew-lizing” my anxieties by visualizing them as tiny nuts I can meticulously sort and organize into satisfying patterns, but I just ended up feeling more stressed about achieving perfect nut alignment.
• I accidentally wore my cashew-print leggings to a yoga class; it was awkward when the instructor kept complimenting my “grounded” energy and asking for tips on achieving inner nut-rition.
• I tried to start a cashew-themed dating app called “Shell Mates,” but it turns out most singles were looking for something more substantial than a casual fling with someone who might just crack under pressure, a true nutty predicament.
• I saw a cashew at a party, but it seemed quite reserved; I guess it was trying to avoid the almond-crushing gossip and preferred to keep its conversations light and nutty.
• My therapist suggested I try “cashew-tiously” approaching my fears by imagining them as tiny nuts I can slowly and deliberately crack open, but I just ended up with a craving for trail mix and a profound sense of snacking satisfaction.
• I’m convinced that cashews hold the secret to eternal youth; my great-grandmother has been eating them every day for 100 years, and she still has the energy to chase squirrels out of her garden with surprising agility.
• I tried to make a cashew-powered time machine, but it only traveled to different eras of snack food, leaving me stuck in a loop of prehistoric berries and futuristic protein bars, a true nutty paradox.
• I accidentally joined a cashew appreciation society; it was a gathering of like-minded individuals who shared a love of all things creamy and curved, and I felt right at home among my nutty brethren.
• I’m convinced my cat thinks cashews are tiny, edible brains made of creamy goodness; it spends hours staring at them, plotting its next snack-related heist with meticulous precision.
• I attempted to write a serious poem about cashews, but it just kept turning into a cheesy ode to creamy goodness, proving that some feelings are best expressed through snacking and a touch of culinary humor.
• My fortune cookie after eating cashews said, “You will soon find yourself surrounded by creamy delights, but remember to stay grounded and avoid getting too nutty with your spending habits.”
• I accidentally wore my cashew-colored sweater to a job interview at a peanut butter factory; it was awkward when the interviewer asked if I was trying to blend in with the creamy competition.
• I tried to make a cashew-themed perfume, but it just smelled like slightly roasted disappointment, proving that some things are best left to the realm of snacking rather than olfactory artistry.
• I saw a cashew at a stand-up comedy show, but it didn’t laugh at any of the jokes; I guess it just wasn’t in the mood for nutty humor and preferred to maintain its creamy composure.
• I accidentally replaced my morning coffee with cashew milk, and now I’m feeling surprisingly energized and slightly nutty all day long, a true vegetable transformation.

Cashew Jokes Gone Wrong: When the Puns Are Just Too Much

Cashew jokes are nuts, right? But sometimes, the humor cracks under pressure. We’ve all been there, forcing a cashew pun that lands with a thud. It’s a delicate balance: a clever play on words versus a groaner that leaves everyone awkwardly silent. Let’s explore when cashew comedy goes from tasty…

• I tried to open a cashew-themed dating app called “Nutty About You”, but it turns out most singles are looking for a long-term relationship, not just a casual fling with someone who might ghost them after the first date, a true nutty predicament.
• I saw a group of cashews staging a protest outside the grocery store; they were demanding better working conditions and more equal distribution of salt, a call for nutty justice and a more equitable snack industry.
• My doctor told me to cut back on my sodium intake, so I started rinsing my cashews in water before eating them, now they taste like soggy sadness and a missed opportunity for a delicious snack, proving that some sacrifices are just too painful to bear.
• I tried to build a tiny house out of cashews, but the squirrels kept breaking in and eating the walls, proving that some architectural dreams are just destined to crumble under the pressure of nature’s appetite, a true nutty nightmare.
• I’m convinced my cat thinks cashews are tiny, edible brains made of creamy goodness; it spends hours staring at them, plotting its next snack-related heist with meticulous precision, a true feline foodie with a cerebral craving.
• I tried to explain the complexities of quantum physics to my cashews, but they just stared back at me blankly, proving that some things are simply too complex for even the most intelligent snack to comprehend, a true nutty predicament.
• I saw a cashew roller skating down the street; it was really root-ing for the competition and hoping it could cut the mustard, a true vegetable athlete with a penchant for acrobatics and a creamy disposition.
• I accidentally replaced my morning coffee with cashew milk, and now I’m feeling surprisingly energized and slightly nutty all day long, a true vegetable transformation that has left me questioning all my previous beverage choices.
• My therapist suggested I try “cashew-al” dating: approaching relationships with a laid-back attitude and avoiding any serious commitment, but I just ended up feeling lonely and slightly unsalted, a true nutty predicament.
• I tried to open a cashew-themed gym where we’ll do squats while holding bags of nuts and cardio by running from the shell cracker, he said that sounded half-baked and highly impractical, a true nutty workout disaster.
• I’m convinced my neighbor is a cashew in disguise; they’re always hanging around the health food store, wearing beige clothing, and have a suspiciously smooth and curved physique, a true nutty enigma.
• I accidentally wore my cashew-patterned socks to a job interview; it was awkward, but I did get a lot of compliments on my “bold” fashion choice and an offer to cater the next office snack break with gourmet nut mixes, a true nutty promotion.
• I attempted to write a serious poem about cashews, but it just kept turning into a cheesy ode to creamy goodness, proving that some feelings are best expressed through snacking and a touch of culinary humor, a true nutty romance.
• I saw a cashew at a stand-up comedy show, but it didn’t laugh at any of the jokes; I guess it just wasn’t in the mood for nutty humor and preferred to maintain its creamy composure, a true snack-time critic with a discerning palate.
• My fortune cookie after eating cashews said, “You will soon find yourself surrounded by creamy delights, but remember to stay grounded and avoid getting too nutty with your spending habits,” a true snack-time premonition.

Cashew-Themed Memes: Picture-Perfect Nutty Humor

Cashew jokes and puns are ripe for meme-worthy moments! “Cashew-Themed Memes: Picture-Perfect Nutty Humor” highlights the internet’s love for turning these kidney-shaped nuts into relatable and hilarious content. Expect visual gags, clever wordplay, and plenty of nutty puns that will leave you cracking up. It’s a truly appealing and unique…

• I tried to start a cashew-themed dating app called “Cashew Connections: Find Your Nutty Half,” but it turns out most people are looking for more than just a casual fling with someone who is often mistaken for a peanut.
• My therapist suggested I try “cashew-tiously” approaching my problems, imagining them as tiny nuts I can slowly and deliberately crack open, but I just ended up with a craving for trail mix and a profound sense of snacking procrastination.
• I’m convinced my local grocery store is secretly run by a cashew cartel, because every time I try to buy almonds, they’re mysteriously sold out, replaced by mountains of creamy, curved temptation.
• I attempted to build a cashew-powered car, but it only ran on pure nutty enthusiasm, leaving me stranded halfway to the health food store with a grumbling stomach and a craving for gasoline, a true nut-mobile failure.
• I saw a cashew roller skating down the street, it was really bread-y for the competition and hoped it could cut the mustard, a true snack athlete with a penchant for acrobatics and a creamy disposition.
• I accidentally wore my cashew-print leggings to a yoga class; it was awkward when the instructor kept complimenting my “grounded” energy and asking for tips on achieving inner nut-rition.
• I tried to make a cashew-themed self-help book, but it was difficult to establish a plot beyond telling the reader to embrace their inner nut and to be a little more proactive on the path to self-discovery.
• I’m convinced my cat thinks cashews are tiny, edible brains made of creamy goodness; it spends hours staring at them, plotting its next snack-related heist with meticulous precision, a true feline foodie with a cerebral craving.
• I asked my cashew for dating advice, but it just told me to stay grounded, be myself, and don’t be afraid to go out on a limb; I guess it’s hard to get relationship help from a nut who has never been in a relationship himself.
• I tried to make a cashew-based cheese, but it was a complete utter failure; I guess you could say I went a little too *cashew-ally* into it, expecting a creamy miracle with minimal effort.
• I’m starting a cashew-themed book club where we’ll discuss literature over bowls of salted and roasted goodness, hoping to create a delicious and intellectual gathering for nutty bibliophiles.
• I saw a cashew at a stand-up comedy show, but it didn’t laugh at any of the jokes; I guess it just wasn’t in the mood for nutty humor and preferred to maintain its creamy composure, a true snack-time critic with a discerning palate.
• I tried to explain the complexities of quantum physics to my cashews, but they just stared back at me blankly, proving that some things are simply too complex for even the most enlightened snack to comprehend, a true nutty predicament.
• I’m not saying I’m obsessed with cashews, but I did name my firstborn child Cash, and my second is anxiously awaiting their turn for a nut-inspired moniker.
• I tried to make a cashew-themed dating app, but it failed because everyone was too afraid of commitment and didn’t want to get too attached to someone who might ghost them after the first date, a true nutty predicament.

Cashew Puns: That Will Drive Your Friends Nuts

Ready to shell out some laughs? Prepare for a nutty experience with cashew jokes and puns! This collection is guaranteed to drive your friends absolutely nuts – in the best way, of course. From corny one-liners to clever wordplay, get ready for a cascade of cashew-themed humor that’s simply irresistible.

• I tried to open a cashew-themed detective agency, but it was hard to find clients, because most people thought I was just cracking under pressure and couldn’t get to the bottom of the nutty mysteries.
• My therapist told me to embrace my inner cashew, so I spent the day trying to be smooth, creamy, and slightly curved, but I mostly ended up feeling self-conscious and craving a handful of salt, an utter nutty predicament.
• I attempted to build a cashew-powered dating app, but it only matched people based on their preferred level of saltiness and their willingness to share a bag of mixed nuts, leading to a series of awkward and unsalted encounters.
• I’m convinced that cashews hold the key to unlocking hidden psychic abilities; ever since I started eating them regularly, I’ve been experiencing vivid premonitions about upcoming snack breaks and predicting the contents of vending machines.
• I saw a cashew applying for a job as a motivational speaker; it said it was ready to inspire people to “crack their potential” and “go out on a limb” to achieve their dreams, a true nutty inspiration with a creamy center.
• I tried to write a serious symphony about cashews, but it turned into a lighthearted jig with a creamy melody and a nutty bassline, proving that some things are just too delicious to be taken seriously, a true snack-time sonata.
• I’m pretty sure my spirit animal is a cashew; smooth, curved, and slightly salty, it just knows how to kick back, relax, and enjoy the simple pleasures in life, a true nutty inspiration for a stress-free existence.
• My therapist suggested I try “cashew-alizing” my anxieties: imagining them as tiny nuts I can gently crack open and discard, but I just ended up feeling guilty about destroying perfectly good snacks and craving trail mix.
• I accidentally joined a cashew appreciation society; it was a gathering of like-minded individuals who shared a love of all things creamy and curved, and I felt right at home among my nutty brethren, a true snack-time sanctuary.
• I told my friend that I was starting a cashew-themed fitness program, and he laughed, saying that it sounded half-baked; I told him that it was a shell of a good idea, and he should be more supportive.
• I’m convinced that cashews are secretly tiny, sentient beings plotting to take over the world with their creamy deliciousness; they’re just waiting for the right moment to strike, and I, for one, welcome our nutty overlords.
• My fortune cookie after eating cashews said, “You will soon find yourself surrounded by creamy delights, but remember to stay grounded and avoid getting too nutty with your spending habits,” a true snack-time premonition.
• I saw a cashew roller skating down the street, it was really root-ing for the competition and hoped it could cut the mustard, a true vegetable athlete with a penchant for acrobatics and a creamy disposition.
• I’m starting a cashew-themed dating app called “Nutty Matches,” where singles can find their perfect creamy counterpart and build a love that’s smooth and satisfying, creating a snack-tastic romance, no shell-fish behavior allowed.
• I tried to explain the concept of quantum physics to my bag of cashews, but they just stared back at me blankly, proving that some things are simply too abstract for even the most intelligent snack to comprehend, a true nutty predicament.