· Life Events Puns And Jokes  · 9 min read

First Day Funnies: Hilarious School Jokes and Puns for Kids (and Parents!)

Ease back-to-school jitters with these laugh-out-loud jokes and puns about starting school! Guaranteed to brighten your day.

Sending your little one off to school is a huge milestone! It’s exciting, a little nerve-wracking, and definitely a moment worth celebrating… with laughter! What better way to ease those first-day jitters (for both you and your child) than with some hilarious school-themed jokes and puns?

This blog post is packed with kid-friendly humor perfect for sharing before, during, or after that big first day. Get ready to giggle your way through drop-off with these clever puns and silly jokes designed to lighten the mood and create some fun memories.

So, ditch the tears (or at least postpone them!) and dive into our collection of ‘child starting school’ jokes and puns. We promise, a little laughter goes a long way in making this transition a positive and memorable one!

First Day Funnies: Hilarious School Jokes and Puns for Kids (and Parents!)


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  • Why did the pencil bring erasers to the first day of school? Because it wanted to correct its mistakes before they even happened!
  • What did the math book say to the guidance counselor on the first day? “I have so many problems.”
  • My kid’s first day of school was so emotional. Even the building was in tiers… I mean, tiers of brick, of course.
  • I told my son school is a breeze. He spent all day trying to fly his notebook. Guess I need to work on my metaphors.
  • What do you call a nervous school supply? A jitter-bug!
  • Parent 1: “How was your child’s first day?” Parent 2: “It was alright, but she kept complaining about recess. Said it was a real short break.”
  • My daughter asked if they teach “nap-time” in school. I told her they teach “power-point.” She wasn’t impressed.
  • Why did the alphabet go to school? Because it wanted to get lettered!
  • A dad is dropping off his kid on the first day. Kid says, “I don’t want to go to school!” Dad replies, “Too bad. You have to. It’s your job.” Kid says, “Being a kid isn’t a job!” Dad sighs, “Then let’s see you pay the bills.”
  • I tried to give my son a pep talk before school. I told him to “ace” his tests. He brought tennis rackets.
  • What’s a pirate’s favorite subject in kindergarten? Arrrrrt!
  • Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses on the first day? Because her students were so bright! (Too bright, in fact, she had to dim them.)
  • My son asked if he could bring his pet rock to school for show and tell. I said, “Sure, but don’t take him for granite.”
  • A little girl comes home from her first day and her mom asks, “What did you learn today?” The girl replies, “Not enough, I have to go back tomorrow!”
  • First day of school rule #1: Try not to forget your child’s name when introducing them to the teacher. (Based on a true story.)

Child Starting School: Jokes to Calm First-Day Nerves


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The first day of school can be daunting for both kids and parents. Laughter is a great way to ease anxiety and create a positive atmosphere. These jokes are designed to lighten the mood, reminding everyone that school is an adventure full of learning and fun. Share them before the big day for some pre-emptive giggles!

Child Starting School: Jokes to Calm First-Day Nerves

  • Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
  • What do you call a nervous teacher? A wreck-turer!
  • What’s a snake’s favourite subject? Hiss-tory!
  • Why did the pencil go to school? To get to the point!
  • What did the math book say to the guidance counselor? “I have so many problems!”
  • I told my son school is like a walk in the park…Jurassic Park!
  • Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because she was stuffed!
  • How does the ocean say hello to its friends? It waves!
  • What is a pirate’s favorite subject? Arrrrr-t!
  • My kid’s first day of school is tomorrow. I’m more excited than he is. Time to catch up on my sleep!

Child Starting School Puns: A+ Humor for Parents

Parents deserve a good laugh too! Navigating the back-to-school season can be chaotic. These puns offer a lighthearted take on the experience, providing a much-needed dose of humor amidst the lunch packing, homework helping, and early morning wake-ups. Share these with other parents for some relatable laughs.

Child Starting School Puns: A+ Humor for Parents

  • Have a grape school year!
  • Donut worry, be happy! School will be fine!
  • Orange you glad it’s back-to-school time?
  • School is in session… let the learning begin! (And the wine flow!)
  • Feeling blue without my kid around during the day.
  • Time to get bookin’ for a great year!
  • Hope you have a berry good day at school!
  • Pencil you in for a great year!
  • My kid’s starting school. I’m so emotional, even the calculator is crying.
  • It’s going to be a class act this year!

Child Starting School: Lunchbox Jokes for a Midday Giggle

A little humor in the lunchbox can brighten a child’s day during school. These jokes are perfect for sneaking into their lunch, providing a midday pick-me-up and a fun conversation starter with friends. It’s a small gesture that can make a big difference in their school experience.

Child Starting School: Lunchbox Jokes for a Midday Giggle

  • What musical instrument is found in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste!
  • What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
  • Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well!
  • What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
  • Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crumbly!
  • What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry!
  • What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
  • What did the pen say to the pencil? What’s your point?
  • Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  • What kind of car does a pickle drive? A dill-uxe!

Child Starting School Jokes: Teacher-Approved Fun


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Teachers appreciate a good laugh just as much as students! These jokes are clean, educational, and perfect for the classroom setting. They can be used as icebreakers, brain breaks, or simply to inject some fun into the learning environment. Share these with your child’s teacher for some guaranteed smiles.

Child Starting School Jokes: Teacher-Approved Fun

  • Why was the obtuse angle always upset? Because it was never right!
  • What’s the best way to study space? With a planet of books!
  • What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus!
  • Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
  • What is full of holes but still holds water? A sponge!
  • What has to be broken before you can use it? An egg!
  • Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired!
  • What question can you never answer yes to? Are you asleep yet?
  • What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A bed!
  • What is always in front of you but can’t be seen? The future!

Child Starting School Puns: Alphabet-Themed Laughs

Learning the alphabet is a fundamental part of starting school. These alphabet-themed puns are a fun way to reinforce letter recognition and create a playful association with learning. They are perfect for engaging young learners and making the process of mastering the ABCs more enjoyable.

Child Starting School Puns: Alphabet-Themed Laughs

  • What starts with P, ends with E, and has a million letters in it? Post Office!
  • I before E, except after C… unless it’s a weird science class!
  • Q: What is the letter after A? A: All the letters!
  • Have you heard about the letter P? It’s always in the potty!
  • Why was the letter A so happy? Because it got a good grade!
  • The letter H ran away because everyone was always saying “Ahhh!”
  • Keep your I on the prize! (and dotted).
  • The letter T is always crossing the road.
  • The letter X is always a mystery.
  • The letter B is always buzzing around.

Child Starting School Jokes: Bus Ride Chuckles

The school bus can be a source of both excitement and anxiety for kids. These jokes are perfect for easing any bus-related jitters and turning the ride into a fun and laughter-filled experience. Share them with your child before they hop on the bus to create a positive association.

Child Starting School Jokes: Bus Ride Chuckles

  • Why did the traffic light turn red? You had to stop and see!
  • What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato!
  • What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells!
  • Why did the bird fly into the window? Because it couldn’t see!
  • What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
  • What do you give a sick lemon? Lemon-aid!
  • What is brown and sticky? A stick!
  • Where should you go if you want to learn how to make ice cream? Sundae school!
  • What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
  • What shirt should you wear to a tea party? A t-shirt!

Child Starting School Puns: Recess Ready Giggles

Recess is a cherished time for kids to unwind and play. These recess-themed puns are a fantastic way to enhance the fun and excitement of playtime. Share them with your child before they head out to recess to add an extra layer of laughter to their break.

Child Starting School Puns: Recess Ready Giggles

  • Swing into a good time at recess!
  • Hope you have a ball at recess!
  • Slide into fun at recess!
  • Don’t jump to conclusions, recess is awesome!
  • Recess is my favorite subject.
  • You’re a real playground superstar!
  • Let’s chalk it up to a great recess!
  • Have a hop-py recess!
  • Time to jump for joy at recess!
  • Let’s have a recess-tacular time!

Child Starting School Jokes: Homework Humor

Homework can be a source of frustration for both kids and parents. These jokes are designed to lighten the mood and make homework time a little less stressful and a lot more fun. Share them with your child to create a more positive association with studying.

Child Starting School Jokes: Homework Humor

  • Why is homework so hard? Because it isn’t easy!
  • What did the calculator say to the student? You can count on me!
  • Why did the student throw his watch out the window? He wanted to see time fly!
  • Homework: A student’s never-ending story.
  • I tried to explain to my kid that homework is important… now he’s hiding.
  • What’s a student’s favorite season? Summer! (No homework!)
  • My dog ate my homework. Again. He’s getting really good at math.
  • Doing homework: the art of procrastinating until the last minute.
  • What’s the difference between a teacher and a train? The teacher says, “Spit out your gum!” and the train says, “Chew, chew!”
  • What do you call a group of musical whales? An orca-stra!
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