Hail Mary Funny: The Ultimate Collection of Dallas Cowboys Jokes & Puns

Are you ready for some football… and some laughs? Whether you’re a die-hard Cowboys fan, a bitter rival, or just enjoy a good pun, this post is for you. We’re diving headfirst into the world of Dallas Cowboys jokes and puns, guaranteed to bring a smile to your face (or a groan, depending on your team allegiance).

Get ready to explore the lighter side of America’s Team. We’ve compiled a collection of hilarious one-liners, clever wordplay, and rib-tickling anecdotes that poke fun at everything from their star players to their, ahem, occasional on-field mishaps. So, grab your favorite snack, settle in, and prepare for a touchdown of humor!

Hail Mary Funny: The Ultimate Collection of Dallas Cowboys Jokes & Puns

Related NFL Puns And Jokes Post:

• Unleash the Roar: Hilarious Detroit Lions Jokes & Puns!

• Why did the Cowboy cross the road? To get to the Super Bowl… eventually. (Hopefully next year!)
• What do you call a Cowboys fan who’s always optimistic? A believer. And probably a little delusional.
• Heard about the Cowboys’ new offensive strategy? It involves a lot of hope and a little bit of prayer.
• Why did the Cowboy get a bad grade in math? He couldn’t figure out the run-pass ratio.
• Two Cowboys fans are walking down the street. One says, “Look, a $20 bill!” The other says, “Nah, it’s probably just Jerry Jones trying to avoid paying his taxes.”
• A Cowboys fan is cleaning his attic and finds an old lamp. He rubs it, and a genie appears. The genie says, “You have three wishes!” The fan says, “First, I want the Cowboys to win the Super Bowl!” The genie says, “That’s impossible! Wish for something else.” The fan thinks for a moment and says, “Okay, I want the Eagles and Giants fans to get along.” The genie pauses, looks troubled, and says, “Let’s go back to that Super Bowl thing…”
• What’s a Cowboy’s favorite kind of music? Country…and maybe a little bit of blues after a tough loss.
• What do you call a group of Cowboys players playing cards? A fumble-icious poker party.
• Why was the Cowboy so good at gardening? Because he knew how to plant seeds of doubt in his opponent’s mind!
• Heard the one about the Cowboy who tried to open a bakery? He kept dropping the ball on his dough-velopment.
• Long Joke: A Cowboys fan walks into a doctor’s office. He says, “Doc, I’ve got a real problem. Every time I watch the Cowboys, I start uncontrollably cheering and yelling, even when they’re losing! It’s embarrassing!” The doctor says, “I have just the thing. Take these pills, one before each game.” The next week, the fan comes back. The doctor asks, “How are you feeling?” The fan replies, “Great! The Cowboys still lost, but I didn’t care! I just sat there calmly eating nachos!” The doctor says, “That’s fantastic! The pills worked!” The fan replies, “Pills? I ate the nachos!”
• What’s the difference between the Cowboys and a tea bag? The tea bag can stay in the cup longer.
• Why did the Cowboy bring a ladder to the game? He heard the defense needed some help reaching the quarterback.
• I tried to explain the Cowboys’ season to my therapist. Now he’s in therapy.
• What’s a Cowboys’ favorite type of dog? A Quarter-Back Retriever! (But they haven’t had much luck retrieving lately.)

Dallas Cowboys Jokes: Classic One-Liners

Related NFL Puns And Jokes Post:

• Who Dat Funny? The Ultimate New Orleans Saints Jokes & Puns!

These jokes are the bread and butter of Cowboys humor, simple, direct, and often poking fun at the team’s perceived arrogance or past glories. They are perfect for a quick laugh around the water cooler or a lighthearted jab at a Cowboys fan. Prepare for some straightforward, punchline-driven gags.

• What do the Dallas Cowboys and the Titanic have in common? They both look good until they hit the ice!
• Why don’t the Dallas Cowboys play poker? Too many stars, not enough chips!
• What do you call a Cowboy with a Super Bowl ring? An old guy.
• What do the Dallas Cowboys and my garbage have in common? They both get taken out every week.
• How many Dallas Cowboys does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just hold it and wait for the world to revolve around them.
• What’s the difference between the Dallas Cowboys and a dollar? You can still get four quarters out of a dollar.
• Why did the Dallas Cowboys cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
• What do you call a Cowboy in the Super Bowl? A spectator.
• I saw a Cowboys fan wearing a Super Bowl XXX ring… Turns out it was a Ring Pop.
• What’s a Cowboys fan’s favorite letter? “D” for “Defeat.”

Dallas Cowboys Puns: A Play on Words

Get ready for some wordplay! These puns utilize the Cowboys’ name, players, or iconic imagery to create clever and humorous phrases. They rely on double meanings and surprising twists to elicit a chuckle. Think of it as a game of witty association with a Cowboys twist.

• Did you hear about the Cowboys player who became a baker? He was known for his end zone-uts!
• Why did the Cowboys bring a ladder to the game? They heard the defense was on another level!
• The Cowboys’ running game is really on the right track. They’re always looking for the end-zone express!
• I tried to explain the Cowboys’ losing streak to my friend. He said, “Sounds like a real ‘Cow-tastrophe’!”
• I’m feeling blue, maybe I should join the Cowboys bandwagon. At least I’d have a ‘star’ring role in disappointment.
• Why are the Cowboys always invited to parties? Because they know how to ‘Cow-mmunicate’ with everyone!
• The Cowboys’ special teams are really putting in the effort… it’s ‘kick’ing and screaming, but they’re trying!
• Jerry Jones is always making deals. He’s a real ‘Cow-mercially’ minded businessman.
• What do you call a Cowboys fan who lost his voice? A ‘hoarse’ Cowboys fan!
• After another loss, the Cowboys’ locker room felt a little ‘Cow-ded’.

Funny Dallas Cowboys Jokes About Their Quarterbacks

The quarterback position is always under scrutiny, and the Cowboys are no exception. These jokes target the team’s signal callers, both past and present, highlighting their performances (or lack thereof) and the intense pressure they face in America’s Team. Expect some zingers related to interceptions and fumbles.

• Why does the Cowboys’ quarterback wear a helmet? To protect his head… from his own passes.
• What’s the difference between the Cowboys’ quarterback and a scarecrow? One stands in a field, and the other stands in the pocket.
• I heard the Cowboys’ quarterback can throw a football over those mountains. Too bad it lands in the other team’s hands.
• What do you call a Cowboys quarterback in the playoffs? Nervous.
• How do you know the Cowboys’ quarterback is having a bad day? The receivers are catching more interceptions than passes.
• Why did the Cowboys’ quarterback bring a ladder to the practice field? He heard the cornerbacks were too high.
• The Cowboys’ quarterback is so good at throwing interceptions, he should consider playing for the other team!
• What’s the Cowboys’ quarterback’s favorite song? “Drop It Like It’s Hot.”
• What do you call a Dallas Cowboys quarterback that can actually win a Super Bowl? A myth.
• The Cowboys’ QB is like a magician… he can make the ball disappear into the hands of the opposing team!

Dallas Cowboys Jokes: Rivalry Roasts

Related NFL Puns And Jokes Post:

• Giant Laughs: The Best New York Giants Jokes and Puns!

The NFC East is known for its heated rivalries, and the Cowboys are often the target of opposing fans’ humor. These jokes focus on the Cowboys’ failures against their division rivals, specifically the Eagles, Giants, and Commanders. Expect some jabs at the team’s struggles in crucial games.

• What’s the best way to beat the Dallas Cowboys? Schedule them to play football.
• Why did the Eagle cross the road? To avoid the Cowboys defense.
• What do you call the Dallas Cowboys after losing to the Giants? America’s Team…ber-ed.
• How do you stop the Cowboys? Just show them a highlight reel of their last game against the Eagles.
• I heard the Cowboys are renaming their stadium “AT&T Losing Field.”
• The Cowboys are so bad, they make the Giants look good. And that’s saying something.
• What’s the difference between the Cowboys and a broken pencil? A broken pencil still has a point.
• What do the Commanders and the Cowboys have in common? They both play in the NFC Least.
• Why did the Cowboys fan throw a brick at the referee? He wanted to build a wall around their end zone.
• I saw a Cowboys fan crying. I asked him what was wrong. He said, “The Giants are winning again!”

Dallas Cowboys Puns: Focusing on the Star

The Dallas Cowboys’ iconic star logo is ripe for puns and wordplay. These jokes utilize the star as a central theme, often referencing the team’s perceived reliance on star power over teamwork or the pressure of living up to the star’s legacy. Get ready for some stellar humor!

• The Cowboys are hoping to reach for the stars this season… looks like they’re still grounded.
• Why did the Cowboys paint their stadium gold? To match their “stellar” performance.
• I tried to join the Cowboys’ fan club, but they said I wasn’t “star” enough.
• What do you call a Cowboys player who can’t catch? A shooting star… because he always misses.
• The Cowboys are really trying to shine this season, but their star is fading.
• Why did the Cowboys go to space? They heard there were more stars there than on their roster.
• I told my friend the Cowboys were going to win the Super Bowl. He said, “Yeah, right. That’s just a pipe dream… or should I say, ‘Star Dream’?”
• The Cowboys are so focused on their star players, they forgot about the rest of the team.
• What’s a Cowboys fan’s favorite constellation? The Big Dipper… of disappointment.
• The Cowboys are always trying to be the best, but they’re just star-struck.

Dallas Cowboys Jokes: Tailgating Humor

Tailgating is a huge part of the Cowboys’ game-day experience. These jokes poke fun at the pre-game festivities, including the food, drinks, and the overall atmosphere of enthusiastic (and sometimes overly optimistic) fans. Expect humor about barbeque, beer, and predictions of victory.

• What’s the best thing to bring to a Cowboys tailgate? A Browns jersey to hide under when they start losing.
• Why did the Cowboys fan bring a ladder to the tailgate? He heard the BBQ was on another level.
• I went to a Cowboys tailgate and all they had was crow… because that’s what they’ll be eating after the game.
• How do you know you’re at a Cowboys tailgate? Everyone’s wearing a Dak Prescott jersey and talking about “next year.”
• What’s a Cowboys fan’s favorite tailgate food? Humble pie.
• Why did the Cowboys fan bring a calculator to the tailgate? He was trying to figure out how many games they needed to win to make the playoffs.
• I went to a Cowboys tailgate and asked for a beer. They said, “Sorry, we’re all out of hope.”
• What’s the difference between a Cowboys tailgate and a funeral? At least at the funeral, there’s a chance of a resurrection.
• What do Cowboys fans and BBQ have in common? They both get smoked.
• What did the Cowboy fan say to the grill master at the tailgate? “Can you cook something that doesn’t choke in the fourth quarter?”

Dallas Cowboys Jokes: The Cheerleaders’ Perspective

The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders are an iconic part of the team’s identity. These jokes imagine the cheerleaders’ perspective on the team’s performance, highlighting their reactions to wins, losses, and the overall drama surrounding America’s Team. Expect some sassy and insightful humor.

• What do the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders say after another loss? “At least we still look good.”
• Why did the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders start practicing their sad faces? Because they knew the season wasn’t going to go well.
• What’s the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders’ favorite play? The Hail Mary… because it’s the only way they can win.
• I asked a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader if she was optimistic about the season. She said, “I’m just here for the paycheck and the Instagram followers.”
• What do the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders and the team’s defense have in common? They both spend a lot of time on their backs.
• The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders are so good, they can distract the opposing team… but not their own.
• What’s the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders’ favorite song? “Another One Bites the Dust.”
• Why did the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders bring tissues to the game? They knew they’d be crying by the end.
• What’s the difference between the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders and the team’s offense? The Cheerleaders actually put on a show.
• The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders are the only reason some fans still show up to the games.

Dallas Cowboys Jokes: Exaggerated Fan Reactions

Cowboys fans are known for their passionate and often over-the-top reactions to the team’s performance. These jokes exaggerate those reactions, highlighting the rollercoaster of emotions that come with being a fan of America’s Team. Prepare for some humor about heartbreak and unwavering (sometimes delusional) optimism.

• A Cowboys fan just sold his house to buy playoff tickets… for a team that’s 3-8.
• I saw a Cowboys fan wearing a paper bag over his head… but he still had a star on it.
• How do you know a Cowboys fan is optimistic? He’s already planning the Super Bowl parade… after a preseason game.
• What’s a Cowboys fan’s favorite phrase? “Wait ‘til next year!”
• A Cowboys fan just divorced his wife because she said Tony Romo was overrated.
• I saw a Cowboys fan crying after a loss. He said, “This is worse than the JFK assassination!”
• What’s a Cowboys fan’s favorite day of the week? Sunday… followed by Monday morning disappointment.
• A Cowboys fan just got a tattoo of Jerry Jones on his back… before the trade deadline.
• How do you calm down a Cowboys fan after a loss? Tell him it’s just a game… then run.
• A Cowboys fan just started a GoFundMe to buy Dak Prescott a new throwing arm.