Houston Texans Jokes That'll Sack You With Laughter!

Are you a Houston Texans fan looking for a good laugh? Or maybe you just enjoy poking fun at America’s favorite sport? Either way, you’ve come to the right place! We’ve compiled a hilarious collection of Houston Texans jokes and puns that are sure to get you chuckling.

From witty wordplay about the team’s history to clever digs at their rivals, this post is packed with lighthearted humor. Get ready to show your Texan pride (or playful disdain) with these jokes.

So, grab your cowboy boots, settle in, and prepare to laugh your way through the best Houston Texans jokes and puns on the internet!

Houston Texans Jokes That’ll Sack You With Laughter!

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• Why did the Houston Texans bring a ladder to the game? Because they heard the Patriots were bringing their A-game and needed to reach new heights!
• What do you call a Houston Texans player who’s also a detective? A Texanvestigator!
• I tried to explain to my friend why the Houston Texans lost. He just looked at me and said, “Don’t Tex-plain it to me!”
• Breaking News: The Houston Texans have signed a new quarterback! He’s got a rocket arm, incredible accuracy, and… he’s a professional paper airplane maker. Turns out, it’s all about the spirals.
• What’s the difference between the Houston Texans and a dollar? You can still get four quarters out of a dollar.
• Heard the Houston Texans are looking for a new mascot. They’re considering a tumbleweed… because it’s always rolling.
• Why are Houston Texans fans good at gardening? Because they know how to weather any storm… even one that involves a losing season.
• Two atoms are walking down the street. One bumps into the other. The first atom says, “I think I lost an electron!” The second atom asks, “Are you sure?” The first atom replies, “I’m positive! Just like the Texans will be… eventually.”
• My therapist told me to embrace my fears. So, I became a Houston Texans fan. (Rimshot!)
• What’s a Houston Texans fan’s favorite type of math? Algebra… because they can’t figure out Y.
• A Houston Texans fan walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia. The librarian whispers, “They’re right behind you!“… Just like the opposing team’s defense.
• How do you know when the Houston Texans are playing a good game? You can hear the collective cheers all the way from Austin! (Okay, maybe not that good.)
• Did you hear about the Houston Texans player who opened a bakery? He makes a mean turnover… on and off the field!
• Why did the Houston Texans cross the road? To get to the end zone… hopefully.
• I went to a Houston Texans game and all I got was this lousy…wait, actually, the tailgating was pretty great. And the energy in the stadium was electric! Even if the score wasn’t ideal. Go Texans! (Maybe next year.)

Houston Texans Jokes: A Hilarious Overview

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Texans football provides plenty of material for humor, whether they’re winning or losing. This section offers a broad spectrum of jokes, from gentle ribbing to outright mockery, capturing the essence of being a Texans fan. Get ready to chuckle, groan, and maybe even shed a tear of laughter (or frustration).

• Why did the Texan cross the road? To get to the other side… eventually.
• What do you call a Texans player who’s good at everything? A myth.
• I’m starting to think the Texans’ playbook is just a blank sheet of paper.
• What’s a Texans fan’s favorite instrument? A trombone, because they know all about the slide.
• How are the Texans like a broken pencil? Pointless.
• If the Texans were a spice, they’d be disap-ointment.
• What’s the difference between the Texans and a dollar? You can still get four quarters out of a dollar.
• I told my wife the Texans were going to win the Super Bowl. She’s still laughing.
• What do the Texans and the Titanic have in common? They both look good until they hit the ice.
• Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, just like the Texans’ chances of winning.

Houston Texans Puns: Playing with Words on the Field

Get ready for some gridiron groaners! This section is dedicated to Texans puns, where wordplay reigns supreme. We’re tackling football terminology, player names, and team history to create puns so bad, they’re good. Prepare for a barrage of linguistic touchdowns (or at least, first downs).

• Let’s taco ‘bout how the Texans need a better offense.
• I’m feeling quite “Texans-tential” about their chances this season.
• I’m in a state of DeShaun-certainty about their future.
• Hoping the Texans can Hopkins to victory this year! (too soon?)
• The Texans’ defense needs to Wattch out for the other team’s offense.
• The Texans’ performance is unbe-Levi-vable! (unbelievable)
• It’s time for the Texans to Texan-d their lead!
• The Texans’ season is starting to look Grim-m.
• I’m not sure the Texans have a Fuller understanding of the game.
• Their performance is Pierce-ing my heart with disappointment.

Houston Texans Jokes About the Quarterback Situation

The Texans’ quarterback history is… well, it’s a history. This section dives into the revolving door of QBs, the missed opportunities, and the ongoing search for a franchise leader. Expect jokes that are both funny and, for some, painfully relatable. Consider this your trigger warning for QB controversies.

• What’s the Texans’ official bird? The turnover.
• The Texans’ quarterback situation is so bad, they’re thinking of bringing back Case Keenum… again.
• How many Texans quarterbacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Nobody knows, they’re still trying to find one.
• The Texans are so good at finding quarterbacks… said no one, ever.
• What do you call a Texans quarterback who holds onto the ball too long? Sacked. Repeatedly.
• The Texans’ quarterback room is like a dating app: lots of profiles, no matches.
• My New Year’s resolution is to have more faith in the Texans’ quarterback than the Texans do.
• The Texans’ quarterback situation is like a box of chocolates… you never know what you’re gonna get, but you’re probably going to be disappointed.
• What’s a Texans quarterback’s favorite drink? An Expresso… because they’re always getting sacked.
• The Texans are holding quarterback tryouts. My application is in the mail. My qualifications? I own a football.

Houston Texans Jokes: Taking a Jab at the Titans

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Every good rivalry needs a little good-natured trash talk. This section is dedicated to jokes at the expense of the Tennessee Titans. Prepare for some playful jabs at the two-tone blue, their fans, and their less-than-stellar moments. It’s all in good fun, of course (mostly).

• What do the Titans and a carp have in common? They both have a big mouth.
• I saw a Titans fan wearing a paper bag. I asked him if he was ashamed. He said, “No, this is my lucky bag!”
• Why did the Titans cross the road? To get to the bottom of the AFC South.
• What do you call 40 Titans fans at the bottom of the ocean? A good start.
• How do you stop a Titans fan from drinking all your beer? Invite another Titans fan.
• What’s the difference between a Titans fan and a mosquito? One’s a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
• I just saw a Titans fan wearing a “Super Bowl Champions” t-shirt from 2000. Bless his heart.
• What’s the best way to keep a Titans fan out of your backyard? Put up a goalpost.
• Why did the Titans bring a ladder to the game? Because they heard the Texans were on top of the division.
• What do you call a smart Titans fan? A visitor.

Houston Texans Puns: Football Fumbles and Funny Lines

It’s all about the silly side of football blunders here. This section is dedicated to puns about fumbles, interceptions, and all those moments that make you facepalm. We’re taking those painful plays and turning them into laugh-out-loud moments. Get ready for some fumble-tastic fun!

• The Texans’ defense needs to intercept some wins this year.
• That was a sack-rificing play by the Texans’ lineman!
• The Texans’ offense is really grounding my gears.
• I’m starting to feel penalty-zed for being a Texans fan.
• That fumble was a real turnover-point in the game.
• The Texans are really running out of time to win this game.
• The ref’s call was totally off-sides!
• The Texans’ special teams are truly kick-ing themselves.
• This loss is a real gut-wrenching experience.
• The Texans’ performance is flag-rant foul!

Houston Texans Jokes: Laughing at the Losses

Let’s face it, being a Texans fan can be a tough job. This section is dedicated to finding the humor in the losses, the near misses, and the general struggles. It’s about embracing the pain with a good laugh, because sometimes, that’s all you can do. Misery loves company, and laughter helps.

• I told my therapist I’m a Texans fan. He just nodded and billed me double.
• What’s the Texans’ favorite holiday? Lossmas.
• I’m starting to think the Texans are allergic to winning.
• How do you know if the Texans are having a good season? When they only lose by one touchdown.
• My doctor told me to stop following the Texans. He said it was bad for my health.
• I’m convinced the Texans’ training camp consists of practicing how to lose gracefully.
• The Texans are so bad, they make the other team look good.
• What’s the best thing about being a Texans fan? Low expectations.
• I’m starting to think the Texans are playing chess while everyone else is playing football. Very poorly.
• How do you cheer up a Texans fan? Tell them “There’s always next year!” (And then watch them cry).

Houston Texans Puns: Texans-Themed Wordplay for Die-Hard Fans

This section is for the ultimate Texans enthusiasts. We’re diving deep into team history, local references, and all things Houston to craft puns that only true fans will appreciate. Get ready to show off your Texans knowledge while cracking a smile (or two). It’s a Texas-sized celebration of wordplay!

• Let’s Texan-d our support for the team this season!
• I’m really Houston for a Texans victory this week!
• Feeling H-Town proud even during a tough season.
• Time to Texan-d the defense’s pressure!
• This Texans game has me feeling Space City stressed!
• The Texans’ offense needs to Texan-d their playbook.
• I’m really Houston that the Texans will improve next year.
• The Texans’ stadium is NRG-etic with fans!
• I’m Texan-tatively optimistic about the future.
• Let’s all Texan-d our hands in a prayer for a win!

Houston Texans Jokes: The Best Dad Jokes for Game Day

Get ready for some groan-worthy goodness! This section is packed with classic dad jokes, all themed around the Houston Texans. These are the kinds of jokes that will make your kids roll their eyes and your fellow fans chuckle (or at least politely smile). Perfect for sharing during tailgates or while watching the game at home.

• Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarterback!
• What do you call a Texan with a rubber toe? Roberto!
• What did the football say to the kicker? I get a kick out of you!
• Why did the Texans bring string to the football game? In case they needed to tie!
• What is a football player’s favorite type of music? Hip hop!
• Where do football players dance? At a foot ball!
• What do you call a defensive player in space? An Astro-naut!
• What’s a football player’s favorite dessert? Icing!
• What kind of tea do football players drink? Penal-tea!
• Why did the Texans player bring a ladder to the game? He wanted to get to the top of the league!