· NFL Puns And Jokes · 11 min read
Colts Comedy: Hilarious Indianapolis Colts Jokes & Puns!
Get ready to laugh! Touchdown-worthy Indianapolis Colts jokes and puns that'll have you horsing around. Read on!
Are you a die-hard Colts fan looking for a good laugh? Or maybe you just enjoy a clever pun? Well, you’ve come to the right place! Get ready to saddle up and gallop into a world of hilarious Indianapolis Colts jokes and puns that are sure to score big with any football fanatic.
From witty wordplay about the horseshoe to rib-tickling references about legendary players, we’ve got a whole playbook of humor dedicated to the Blue and White. Prepare for some serious “field” day fun!
Colts Comedy: Hilarious Indianapolis Colts Jokes & Puns!
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- Why did the Colts running back bring a ladder to practice? Because he heard the coach wanted to raise the bar!
- What do you call a Colts fan who’s always positive? A Coltsimist!
- I tried to explain the Colts’ offensive strategy to my friend. It was like explaining the forward pass to a horse.
- What’s a Colts fan’s favorite type of music? Indy-rock!
- Did you hear about the Colts receiver who opened a bakery? He specializes in touchdown pastries!
- Why are Colts quarterbacks so good at math? They’re always calculating the perfect spiral!
- What did the football say to the Colts player? “Hold me tight, I’m going downtown!” (Downtown refers to Indianapolis)
- My wife told me to stop pretending I was a Colts quarterback. I said, “Honey, I’m just practicing my audibles!” Then she rolled her eyes. Audible silence.
- I saw a Colts linebacker playing hide-and-seek. He was really good. You couldn’t get past him!
- Two Colts fans are walking down the street. One says, “I hope we win this week!” The other replies, “Me too, I’m tired of feeling blue!” (Referring to the Colts’ colors)
- Why did the Colts hire a detective? They needed someone to solve their red zone problems!
- What’s the difference between the Colts and a pirate? One plunders the end zone, the other plunders the sea… although sometimes it feels like neither does very well.
- A Colts fan walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia. The librarian whispers, “They’re right behind you!” (Relates to the pressure of being a Colts fan)
- My therapist told me to embrace my inner Colts fan. Now I’m just constantly disappointed, but with a better attitude!
- I’m reading a book about the Colts’ history. It’s a real page-turner… mostly because I’m turning the pages looking for a more recent Super Bowl win.
Indianapolis Colts Jokes: General Puns and One-Liners
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Colts jokes are a staple for any Indianapolis football fan. From witty one-liners to clever puns, these jokes keep the spirit alive even during tough seasons. This section focuses on general humor, perfect for sharing at the water cooler or during a Colts game watch party. Get ready to blue and laugh!
- Why did the Colts player bring a ladder to the game? He heard the defense was low!
- What do you call a Colts player who can’t stop fumbling? A butter-finger colt!
- I tried to explain the offsides rule to my friend, but it was just too complicated. He said, “Sounds like the Colts’ defense sometimes!”
- How do you know if a Colts fan is happy? They’re stable!
- What’s a Colts fan’s favorite type of music? Indy rock!
- Why was the Colts’ stadium always so clean? Because the fans sweep it every Sunday! (When they’re not sweeping the opposing team, hopefully!)
- What did the receiver say to the football? “I’m gonna catch you later… maybe!”
- Knock Knock. Who’s there? Col. Col who? Colt you be quiet, the game is on!
- What do you call a Colts player who’s also a detective? An investi-goal-tor!
- Why did the Colts player break up with the cheerleader? He said she was always leading him on!
Indianapolis Colts Jokes: Player-Specific Puns
This section dives into the specifics, bringing you jokes centered around iconic Indianapolis Colts players. Think clever wordplay and playful jabs at past and present stars. From running backs to quarterbacks, no one is safe from these pun-tastic takes on Colts legends. Get ready to chuckle at some player-powered punchlines!
- What do you call a very polite Colts linebacker? Shaquille Leonard-esque!
- What’s Jonathan Taylor’s favorite drink? Running iced tea!
- What did Andrew Luck say to the offensive line? “Thanks, you’re all looking pretty good!”
- What do you call a Colts receiver who’s always late? T.Y. Hilton-diness! (Tardiness)
- How does Shaquille Leonard get to all the tackles so fast? He’s got Leonard-ard drive!
- Why was Peyton Manning always so calm under pressure? He had a plan!
- What do you call a Colts player who’s good at math? A math-hews!
- What does Jonathan Taylor eat for breakfast? Weetabix…with a lot of running!
- What did Reggie Wayne say to the cornerback? “Catch me if you can!”
- Why was Andrew Luck such a good reader? Because he always had great vision downfield!
Indianapolis Colts Jokes: Luck-Related Laughs
Andrew Luck’s era in Indianapolis was filled with hope, promise, and ultimately, early retirement. This section mines the humor from his time with the Colts, offering lighthearted jokes and puns that play on his name and his impact on the team. It’s all in good fun, celebrating the legacy of a talented quarterback.
- What’s Andrew Luck’s favorite kind of music? Good luck tunes!
- Why did Andrew Luck always carry a rabbit’s foot? For good Luck, obviously!
- What did the Colts say after Andrew Luck’s last game? “Well, that’s just our Luck!”
- What does Andrew Luck use to open his mail? A luck-opener!
- Did you hear about the Andrew Luck documentary? It was a stroke of Luck to get it done!
- What did the fortune teller say to Andrew Luck? “I see a lot of…Luck in your future!”
- What’s Andrew Luck’s favorite board game? Clue!
- Why was Andrew Luck a great leader? He always brought good Luck to the team!
- What’s Andrew Luck’s favorite day of the week? Luck-y Friday!
- What’s Andrew Luck’s favorite flower? Four-leaf clover!
Indianapolis Colts Jokes: Jokes About the Horseshoe Logo
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The iconic horseshoe logo is synonymous with the Indianapolis Colts. This section is dedicated to jokes that playfully poke fun at or celebrate the famous symbol. From its shape to its placement, the horseshoe is a prime target for humorous observations and lighthearted jabs. Get ready to ride into some horseshoe hilarity!
- Why did the Colts put the horseshoe on their helmets? Because they wanted to be lucky in the head!
- What did the horseshoe say to the football? “Hang on tight, this is going to be a wild ride!”
- Why did the Colts fan bring a horseshoe to the game? He heard it was good luck, especially when thrown at the refs!
- What’s the Colts’ horseshoes favorite snack? Haystacks!
- What do you call a horseshoe that can’t be found? A missing shoe-tuation!
- How do you make a small fortune playing the Colts? Start with a large fortune and bet against them every week.
- Why did the horseshoe get a ticket? It was parked in a no-parking zone. It was a horseshoe-in!
- What did the horseshoe say when it was feeling down? “I need a little horseshoe-p!”
- How do you describe a Colts loss? Un-for-shoe-nate!
- What’s a horseshoe’s favorite type of movie? A shoestring budget film!
Indianapolis Colts Jokes: Colts vs. Opponent Jokes
Rivalries fuel the intensity of football, and they also provide excellent fodder for jokes. This section is all about poking fun at the Colts’ opponents, from division rivals to Super Bowl adversaries. Expect humorous jabs and playful taunts aimed at the teams the Colts love to beat the most. It’s all in good fun, of course!
- Why did the Titans cross the road? To avoid the Colts’ defense!
- What do you call a Jaguars fan with a winning record? A liar!
- What do the Houston Texans and the Titanic have in common? They both look good until they hit the ice!
- What’s the difference between a Bengal and a trampoline? You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline!
- What’s an acceptable amount of Browns fans in one place? Zero!
- What’s the best way to watch a Patriots game? On mute!
- Why don’t Ravens fans use email? Because they can’t figure out how to put two ‘C’s together.
- Why are Steelers fans so bad at poker? Because they can’t help but show their Terrible Towels!
- What do you call a Miami Dolphins fan with half a brain? Gifted!
- How many Dallas Cowboys fans does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just sit around and talk about how good the old one was!
Indianapolis Colts Jokes: Tailgating and Game Day Humor
Tailgating and game day are essential parts of the Colts experience. This section captures the humor and absurdity of pre-game celebrations, stadium shenanigans, and the unique atmosphere of Lucas Oil Stadium on Sundays. From grilling mishaps to fan antics, these jokes celebrate the lighter side of Colts fandom.
- What’s a Colts fan’s favorite way to cook a steak at a tailgate? Blue rare!
- Why did the Colts fan bring a map to the tailgate? He heard the beer was on draft!
- What do you call a Colts fan who’s run out of beer at the tailgate? A real tragedy!
- What’s a Colts fan’s favorite kind of party? A tailgate party!
- Why did the Colts fan bring a ladder to the game? He heard the prices for beer were sky-high!
- Why did the Colts fan bring a pencil to the game? In case he needed to draw a better offensive line!
- What do you say to a Colts fan who’s had too much to drink? “Easy there, you’re starting to sound like a Jaguars fan!”
- What’s the best way to keep warm at a Colts game? Stand near the concession stand, all that hot air from the prices will keep you cozy!
- What’s a Colts fan’s favorite part of watching a game? The hope that maybe, just maybe, this will be the year.
- How many Colts fans does it take to start a tailgate? Just one, with a truckload of blue and white decorations and a grill!
Indianapolis Colts Jokes: Funny Colts Fan Experiences
Being a Colts fan is a unique experience, filled with highs, lows, and plenty of memorable moments. This section highlights the humorous aspects of Colts fandom, from quirky traditions to relatable struggles. These jokes capture the shared experiences that bind Colts fans together, through thick and thin.
- You know you’re a true Colts fan when you can name more backup quarterbacks than you can relatives!
- What’s a Colts fan’s biggest fear? Seeing a referee wearing black and white stripes!
- A Colts fan, a Bears fan, and a Packers fan are trapped in a room. Who gets out first? The Colts fan, because hope dies last!
- What’s the first thing a Colts fan does after a win? Checks to see if the other AFC South teams lost too!
- What’s the difference between a Colts fan and a carp? One is a bottom-feeding scavenger, the other is a fish.
- How do you know if a Colts fan is having a bad day? They’re actually wearing a Titans jersey.
- What’s a Colts fan’s favorite word? Touchdown!
- Why did the Colts fan start a garden? He wanted to grow his own blue turf!
- What do Colts fans and squirrels have in common? They both hoard nuts for the winter… and hope for a Super Bowl!
- You know you’re a Colts fan when your dog is named Luck, Manning, or Freeney.
Indianapolis Colts Jokes: Colts History Puns
The Indianapolis Colts have a rich history, filled with legendary players and unforgettable moments. This section taps into the past, offering jokes and puns that celebrate the team’s legacy. From Johnny Unitas to Edgerrin James, these jokes pay homage to the Colts’ historical figures in a lighthearted way.
- What did Johnny Unitas say to the referee? “That call was… Unitas-ceptable!”
- Why was Edgerrin James such a good running back? He had edge!
- What kind of car did Raymond Berry drive? A Berry-mobile!
- What’s the opposite of Dwight Freeney? Dwight Payday!
- What was the Colts’ favorite history lesson? The “Horse” Shoe Era!
- What did the Colts say when they won the Super Bowl? “We made History!”
- What was Jim Irsay’s favorite subject in school? Colts-ure! (Culture)
- Why did Gino Marchetti open a restaurant? Because he knew how to Marchetti his way to success!
- What did Art Donovan say when he saw a great play? “That was a work of Art!”
- What did Lenny Moore say to the cornerback? “You can’t catch Moore!”
