Clippers Comedy: Hilarious Jokes & Puns for True Fans!

Looking for a slam dunk of laughter? You’ve come to the right place! Whether you’re a die-hard Clippers fan or just enjoy a good basketball joke, prepare to be entertained. We’ve compiled a collection of the funniest Los Angeles Clippers jokes and puns that are sure to score big with your friends.

From hilarious player puns to witty takes on the team’s history, get ready to chuckle. We’re serving up a full court press of comedy, so buckle up and get ready to laugh your way through these Clippers-themed jokes!

Clippers Comedy: Hilarious Jokes & Puns for True Fans!

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• Why did the Clipper get a parking ticket? Because they kept fouling!
• I tried to write a song about the Clippers… but it just wasn’t cutting it. I guess you could say it lacked… Kawhi-fidence.
• What do you call a Clippers game that’s always close? A nail-biting… Clippership.
• Heard the Clippers are starting a new delivery service. It’s called “Fast Break Food”… hopefully, they deliver faster than they choke in the playoffs.
• Why did the Clipper refuse to play cards? He was afraid of getting DeAndre Jordaned into a bad hand.
• Two fans are talking:
• Fan 1: “I saw a Clipper flying the other day.”
• Fan 2: “Really? Was it carrying a championship trophy?”
• Fan 1: “Nah, just a bunch of baggage.”
• What’s the difference between the Clippers and a pirate? One is feared on the high seas, and the other… well, just makes you sigh.
• Why do the Clippers practice their free throws in a graveyard? Because they’re always dead serious about improving… but still miss.
• I told my friend the Clippers were going to win the championship this year. He said, “That’s quite an optimis-clip.”
• What do you call a Clipper that’s good at math? A Kawhi-fident calculator!
• Kawhi Leonard walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia. The librarian whispers, “They’re right behind you!” … Hopefully not the Warriors in the playoffs.
• A Clipper player applied for a job as a weatherman. He was rejected because he had a history of blowing leads.

Los Angeles Clippers Jokes About Their History

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The Clippers’ history is a comedic goldmine. Decades of struggles and unfortunate incidents provide ample material for jokes. We’re talking about missed opportunities, draft busts, and ownership mishaps – the kind of things that make even the most die-hard fan chuckle nervously. It’s okay to laugh; they’ve learned to laugh too… eventually.

• Why did the Clippers cross the road? To get to the other side… and still trip and fall.
• I just bought a Clippers championship t-shirt…vintage from 2085.
• The Clippers’ history is so bad, it makes the Titanic look like a successful cruise.
• What’s the Clippers’ favorite type of music? The Blues.
• Heard the Clippers are releasing a new history book. It’s a short story.
• A time traveler visited the past to prevent the Clippers’ bad luck. He accidentally made it worse.
• What do you call a Clipper who finally wins a ring? Delusional.
• I tried to find the Clippers championship banner. Turns out it’s a blank canvas.
• My therapist told me to face my fears. So I watched a replay of a Clippers collapse.
• What’s the Clippers’ official flower? The dandelion… because they always get blown away.

Los Angeles Clippers Jokes Featuring Current Players

Current Clippers players provide fresh comedic material. Their on-court performances, quirks, and even off-court antics fuel the jokes. Whether it’s Kawhi Leonard’s stoicism, or the team’s chemistry, there’s always something to poke fun at. It’s all in good fun, of course, and hopefully, the players can laugh along too.

• Kawhi Leonard walks into a library… silently.
• Why did Kawhi bring a ladder to the game? He heard the Lakers were on a higher level.
• Paul George’s favorite subject in school? Playoff P.
• What do you call Paul George’s shooting slump? A PG-13 movie.
• Norman Powell is so fast, he can outrun the Clippers’ playoff chances.
• A doctor told Marcus Morris he needed to cut down on salt. He told him, “Nah, I’m good.”
• Someone asked Russell Westbrook to explain the theory of relativity. He said, “Next question!”
• How does Kawhi Leonard make coffee? He puts in instant coffee and does absolutely nothing.
• What’s the difference between a dollar and Russell Westbrook? You can still get four quarters out of a dollar.
• Why did the Clippers hire a clown? To improve team chemistry.

Los Angeles Clippers Puns About Basketball Terms

Basketball terminology offers a wealth of pun opportunities. From “air balls” to “fouls,” the game is ripe for wordplay. Combining these terms with Clippers-specific situations creates humorous and relatable content for fans. It’s a fun way to lighten the mood and poke fun at the team’s on-court struggles and triumphs (or lack thereof).

• The Clippers’ defense is so bad, it’s a foul play.
• Their offense is sometimes air apparent.
• Watching the Clippers in the playoffs gives me a court attack.
• After a Clippers loss, I feel like I’ve been dribbled on.
• The Clippers are always trying to block out their past failures.
• The Clippers’ success this season is up in the air.
• They need to fast break out of this slump.
• Their championship hopes? A long shot.
• This season is making me crossover to the Lakers.
• The Clippers’ free throws are a travesty.

Los Angeles Clippers Jokes: Rivalry Roasts

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Rivalries are a fertile ground for jokes. The Clippers’ rivalry with the Lakers, especially, provides endless opportunities for playful jabs. From comparing championships to mocking each other’s performances, these jokes fuel the competitive spirit and offer fans a way to bond over their shared (and often biased) perspectives.

• What do the Lakers and Clippers have in common? They both play in Los Angeles… usually poorly (one more than the other).
• Why did the Laker fan cross the street? To get away from the Clippers fan gloating about one win.
• A Lakers fan and a Clippers fan walked into a bar… only one of them left happy.
• What’s the difference between the Clippers and the Lakers? About 17 banners.
• The Lakers called. They want their Staples Center back.
• Heard the Lakers are renaming their arena to “The House That LeBron Built”… and the Clippers are still guests.
• The Clippers are like that little brother who always tries to copy the Lakers but never quite gets it right.
• What do you call a Clippers fan wearing Lakers gear? A realist.
• Why did the Clippers fan get kicked out of the Lakers game? He kept yelling, “Remember that one time we won a playoff series?”
• The Lakers and Clippers are playing a game of hide-and-seek. The Clippers are still hiding from their potential.

Los Angeles Clippers Jokes About Playoff Woes

The Clippers’ playoff history is legendary for all the wrong reasons. Choking in crucial moments, blowing leads, and failing to live up to expectations provide a wealth of dark humor. These jokes acknowledge the pain but also allow fans to laugh at the absurdity of it all, turning frustration into shared amusement.

• What do the Clippers and a magician have in common? They both know how to disappear in the playoffs.
• I have a recurring nightmare about the Clippers… it’s just called “the playoffs.”
• The Clippers’ playoff record is so bad, it’s considered a horror movie.
• What’s the Clippers’ favorite type of math? Choke-ulus.
• Clippers playoff games are sponsored by Pepto-Bismol.
• I tried to watch a Clippers playoff game with my therapist. He needed therapy after.
• What’s the Clipper’s favorite color? Blue… as in, “feeling blue” after every season.
• Why did the Clippers hire a magician? They need to make their playoff struggles disappear.
• The Clippers’ playoff hopes are like a balloon… eventually, they pop.
• I just wrote a book about the Clippers’ playoff success. It’s blank.

Los Angeles Clippers Puns: Wordplay on Team Names

The Clippers’ name itself offers opportunities for puns. Connecting the term “Clippers” with sailing, cutting, or other related concepts allows for clever and amusing wordplay. These puns are a lighthearted way to engage with the team’s identity and create content that resonates with fans on a playful level.

• The Clippers are trying to clip their competition.
• Their offense needs to be shipshape.
• Hope they navigate their way to a championship this year.
• Watching the Clippers can be a rough sea.
• Are the Clippers sailing smoothly this season? Not really.
• They need to trim the fat and improve their defense.
• The Clippers’ chances of winning it all are looking shipwrecked.
• Their playoff performance is always cutting it close.
• This season, they’re hoping to chart a new course.
• The Clippers need to stay afloat in the Western Conference.

Los Angeles Clippers Jokes That Are Total Airballs

Not all jokes are winners, and that’s okay! This section embraces the corny, the predictable, and the just plain bad jokes about the Clippers. Sometimes, the sheer awfulness of a joke is what makes it funny. These “airballs” are a reminder that humor is subjective and that even the worst jokes can elicit a groan (or a chuckle).

• What’s a Clipper’s favorite movie? Gone With the Wind (because that’s what happens to their playoff hopes).
• Why did the Clipper bring a pencil to the game? To draw fouls… that never get called.
• What do you call a happy Clippers fan? A liar.
• How do you know you’re at a Clippers game? Everyone’s yelling, “Next year!”
• Why did the Clippers get a parking ticket? They couldn’t find a championship spot.
• What’s the difference between the Clippers and a mosquito? A mosquito stops bugging you after you swat it.
• What did the Clippers say to the basketball? “We’re going all the way!” (Then they tripped.)
• What do you call a Clipper who scores 30 points in a game? Exhausted.
• Why are Clippers fans so good at gardening? Because they’re used to rooting for underdogs.
• The Clippers’ defense is like a screen door on a submarine.

Los Angeles Clippers Jokes: Fan Frustrations

Clippers fans have experienced a unique blend of hope and heartbreak. These jokes tap into those shared frustrations, acknowledging the emotional rollercoaster of being a fan. From unmet expectations to recurring disappointments, these jokes offer a cathartic release and a way for fans to connect over their shared experiences.

• Being a Clippers fan is like being in a toxic relationship: you know it’s bad for you, but you can’t quit.
• The Clippers are my favorite team… to stress over.
• I’m starting a Clippers fan support group. First meeting is next Tuesday… probably a game we’ll lose.
• My therapist says I need to let go of the Clippers. Easier said than done.
• I’ve lowered my expectations for the Clippers so much, they’re playing limbo with the basement floor.
• Being a Clippers fan: 90% hope, 10% screaming into the void.
• The only thing consistent about the Clippers is their inconsistency.
• I’m convinced the Clippers are powered by fan disappointment.
• My doctor prescribed me something for my Clippers-induced anxiety. It’s called “switching teams.”
• I’m writing a book on optimism… it’s about being a Clippers fan. It’s only one page.