Hilarious New England Patriots Jokes & Puns That'll Score Big!

Are you a New England Patriots fan looking for a good laugh? Or maybe you’re just looking for a way to playfully tease your Pats-loving friends? Either way, you’ve come to the right place! Get ready to rumble with some hilarious New England Patriots jokes and puns that are sure to score big with your audience.

This blog post is packed with witty one-liners, clever puns, and rib-tickling jokes that will have you cheering (or groaning, depending on your allegiance). From Tom Brady zingers to Belichick-inspired banter, we’ve got it all. So, grab your favorite jersey, settle in, and prepare for some serious football fun!

Hilarious New England Patriots Jokes & Puns That’ll Score Big!

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• Why did the Patriots bring a ladder to the game? Because they heard the Steelers’ defense was on another level!
• What do you call a sad Patriot? A Patsy.
• Heard the Patriots were having a potluck. Tom Brady only brought avocados.
• A Steelers fan walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia. The librarian whispers, “They’re right behind you!” …Similar to how the Patriots always seem to be behind every other team in the playoffs… until they aren’t.
• Why did Bill Belichick cross the road? To spy on the other side.
• What’s a Patriot’s favorite type of music? Deflategate!
• Meme Idea: Image of Bill Belichick wearing a hoodie, captioned: “My resting coach face.”
• Meme Idea: Image of a deflated football with the caption: “Don’t worry, I’m just going through a low point.”
• Meme Idea: Image of Tom Brady with a bunch of Super Bowl rings: “One ring to rule them all, and in the darkness bind them… and also win another Super Bowl.”
• Meme Idea: Picture of a goat with a Patriots jersey on it: “Just a regular goat… GOAT-ing to a Patriots game!”
• Two muffins are baking in an oven. One muffin says to the other, “Wow, it’s getting really hot in here!” The other muffin replies, “Holy cow, a talking muffin!“… Sounds like the average reaction to the Patriots’ sustained success.
• I tried to explain the Patriots’ dynasty to my friend who doesn’t follow football. He just stared blankly. I guess you could say he was… Brady-fied.
• A man walks into a bar wearing a Patriots jersey. The bartender says, “Hey, we don’t serve time travelers here.”
• What do you call a Patriot with no football? Gronk-less.
• Meme Idea: Image of Bill Belichick looking intensely at a piece of paper: “Me calculating the exact number of seconds to delay a field goal to ice the kicker.”

New England Patriots Jokes: General Hilarity

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The New England Patriots, a team synonymous with dominance, are also ripe for comedic fodder. From their impressive win streaks to their, shall we say, unique strategies, there’s plenty of general humor to be mined. Prepare for some lighthearted jabs at the team that many love to hate (or hate to love).

• Why did the Patriot bring a ladder to the game? He heard the defense was weak and wanted to climb over them!
• What’s a Patriots fan’s favorite herb? Thyme, because they always have enough of it to celebrate!
• What do you call a Patriots player who’s also a detective? An InvestiGronk!
• How many Patriots fans does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They just hold it in place and wait for the rest of the league to revolve around them.
• Why did the Patriot cross the road? To get to the other winning side!
• What’s a Patriots’ favorite kind of music? Win-strumental.
• What did the football say to the New England Patriots? “I get kicked around a lot, but you guys really know how to handle me.”
• Why did the Patriots coach bring a calculator to the game? He wanted to figure out how many points they were going to win by!
• How do you know you’re at a Patriots tailgate party? Everyone is already celebrating before the game even starts!
• What’s the difference between the Patriots and a tea bag? The Patriots know how to stay in the game for four quarters!

Tom Brady Jokes: The GOAT of Gags

Tom Brady, the GOAT himself, has become a legend and a meme. His longevity, his diet, his intensity – it’s all comedy gold. Whether you admire him or begrudgingly respect him, there’s no denying Brady provides endless material for hilarious jokes. Let’s dive into the Brady-centric humor.

• Why did Tom Brady refuse to use a map? Because he already knows all the routes!
• What’s Tom Brady’s favorite movie? “Mission: Impossible”… winning is always his mission!
• What does Tom Brady eat for breakfast? Goatmeal!
• Tom Brady walks into a bar and orders a kombucha. The bartender asks, “What’s your name?” Brady replies, “Greatest Of All Time.”
• Why does Tom Brady always wear long sleeves? To hide his rings!
• What’s Tom Brady’s favorite type of tree? A “Vic-Tree”!
• I tried to explain to my son who Tom Brady is. He said, “So, he’s like the football version of Santa?”
• What’s the difference between Tom Brady and a dollar bill? You can get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
• Why was Tom Brady a terrible gardener? Because all he grew were Super Bowl rings!
• What did Tom Brady say to the clock when he was down by 28 points? “Hold my G.O.A.T.”

Bill Belichick Jokes: The Hoodie’s Humor

Bill Belichick, with his stoic demeanor and strategic brilliance, is a figure of fascination. The Hoodie’s mysterious nature and penchant for unconventional tactics provide endless opportunities for humor. From his press conferences to his sideline antics, Belichick remains a source of comedic inspiration.

• Why did Bill Belichick bring a ladder to the press conference? He wanted to avoid answering questions by going over everyone’s head!
• What’s Bill Belichick’s favorite type of music? Strategical rock.
• What does Bill Belichick order at a restaurant? A plain hoodie.
• Bill Belichick was asked if he had any regrets. He replied, “Next question.”
• Why did Bill Belichick get a parking ticket? He parked in a “No Fun Zone”.
• How does Bill Belichick stay in shape? He wears a weighted hoodie.
• What did Bill Belichick say when he won the lottery? “We’re on to Cincinnati.”
• What’s Bill Belichick’s favorite holiday? Groundhog Day, because he loves repeating the same winning formula.
• What’s Bill Belichick’s favorite ice cream flavor? Plain vanilla… because it’s all about execution.
• Why doesn’t Bill Belichick use emojis? He believes in communicating through strategic hand signals only.

New England Patriots Puns: A Touchdown of Wordplay

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Puns are a touchdown of wordplay, and the Patriots offer ample material. From clever plays on player names to puns about winning and losing, there’s a wealth of opportunities for linguistic gymnastics. Get ready for a string of puns that are guaranteed to at least elicit a groan or two (in a good way, of course!).

• The Patriots’ performance was really Krafty!
• I’m Gronk-ful for the Patriots’ success!
• I always Edelman my victory predictions!
• Did you hear about the Patriots’ new wide receiver? He’s Amendola-ble!
• The Patriots’ defense is Hightowering!
• That was a Slaterrific play by the Patriots!
• The Patriots are always Brady to win!
• Their offensive line is really Andrews-tanding!
• That penalty was a total Hogan-wash!
• The other teams are feeling pretty Belichick-en after that loss!

Patriots vs. Opponents Jokes: Rivalry Roasts

The Patriots have a long list of rivals, and these rivalries provide fertile ground for comedic jabs. Whether it’s the Jets, the Dolphins, or the Steelers, there’s no shortage of teams to poke fun at. Get ready for some lighthearted trash talk aimed at the Patriots’ most hated opponents.

• Why did the Jets fan bring a ladder to the game against the Patriots? He heard they were due for an upset!
• What do you call a Dolphin in the Super Bowl? Lost.
• What do the Steelers and the Titanic have in common? They both look good until they hit the ice.
• How many Jets fans does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just talk about how good the old one was.
• Why are the Dolphins terrible at poker? They always fold under pressure.
• What’s the difference between a Steelers fan and a mosquito? One’s a bloodsucking parasite, the other is an insect.
• What do the Jets and a screen door have in common? Everyone loves to slam them.
• What do you call a Dolphin with no legs? Grounded.
• Why did the Steeler get lost in a paper bag? Because he kept following the instructions!
• Why did the Jets fan bring a pencil to the game? In case he needed to draw some hope!

New England Patriots Super Bowl Jokes: Championship Chuckles

With numerous Super Bowl appearances and victories, the Patriots have provided a wealth of memorable moments. These championship runs are a source of pride for fans and a source of comedic material for everyone. Get ready for some jokes centered around the Patriots’ Super Bowl dominance.

• What’s the difference between the Patriots and a Boy Scout? The Patriots have more rings!
• Why did the Patriots go to therapy after winning another Super Bowl? They needed help dealing with all the bling!
• What’s a Patriots fan’s favorite sandwich? A Super Bowl sub!
• Why did the Patriots bring a map to the Super Bowl parade? Because they’ve been there so many times they forgot the way! (Just kidding… sort of).
• What do you call a Patriots’ Super Bowl party? A re-ring-ion!
• What’s the Patriots’ favorite board game? Super Bowlopoly.
• Why did the Patriots bring a trophy case to the Super Bowl? Because they knew they’d need extra space.
• Did you hear about the Patriots’ new team pet? A Super Bowl ring-tailed lemur!
• Why are Super Bowls like Patriots birthday parties? Everyone expects them to win.
• What did the Patriots say to the other team after winning the Super Bowl? “Thanks for coming!”

New England Patriots Player Jokes: Gridiron Giggles

Beyond Brady and Belichick, the Patriots have had a roster of memorable players. These players, with their unique personalities and skills, offer a rich source of comedic material. Get ready for some jokes that highlight the quirks and talents of the Patriots’ supporting cast.

• What do you call Julian Edelman’s autobiography? “Catching Up”!
• Why was Rob Gronkowski such a good dancer? He had great hands!
• What’s Danny Amendola’s favorite type of flower? An Amendola-lily!
• What does Matthew Slater order at a coffee shop? A Slater-ccino!
• Why was Dont’a Hightower such a good teacher? He was always able to tower over his students’ expectations!
• What does Vince Wilfork use to style his hair? A wide-tooth comb!
• What’s a Devin McCourty’s favorite subject in school? Court-related matters!
• Why did James White become a running back? Because he always delivered!
• What does Stephen Gostkowski order at a Mexican restaurant? Gostkowski-mole!
• What did Julian Edelman say to the cornerback? “Nice try… I’m catching this!”

New England Patriots Fan Jokes: Loyalty Laughs

Patriots fans are known for their unwavering loyalty, sometimes bordering on obsession. This dedication, combined with the team’s success, creates a unique fanbase ripe for comedic observation. Get ready for some lighthearted jokes about the passionate, sometimes over-the-top, Patriots faithful.

• How do you know you’re at a Patriots fan’s wedding? The vows end with “In Brady We Trust.”
• Why did the Patriots fan name their dog “Brady”? Because he always brings home the wins!
• What’s a Patriots fan’s favorite color? Super Bowl ring gold!
• A Patriots fan’s GPS only has one destination: Gillette Stadium.
• How do Patriots fans answer the phone? “Hello, Super Bowl Champs speaking!”
• What’s a Patriots fan’s favorite type of cookie? Fortune cookies, because they always predict a win!
• Patriots fans don’t tan, they bronz-e after every Super Bowl victory.
• What do you call a Patriots fan who’s lost his voice? A mute-triot.
• Why did the Patriot fan bring a ladder to the tailgate party? He heard the burgers were high quality!
• A Patriots fan’s therapy session always ends with, “Just one more Super Bowl win, and I’ll be happy.”