· USA States Puns And Jokes · 10 min read
Granite State Giggles: The Ultimate Collection of New Hampshire Jokes & Puns
Get ready to laugh! These New Hampshire jokes and puns are funnier than a moose on roller skates. Click to read more!
Looking for a good laugh with a Granite State twist? You’ve come to the right place! New Hampshire, with its stunning White Mountains, charming small towns, and fiercely independent spirit, is ripe for comedic fodder. Get ready to chuckle your way through some of the best New Hampshire jokes and puns around.
Whether you’re a lifelong resident, a frequent visitor, or just curious about this New England gem, these jokes are sure to bring a smile to your face. From moose-related mishaps to political potshots, we’ve got a bit of everything to tickle your funny bone. Prepare for some good old-fashioned New Hampshire humor!
Granite State Giggles: The Ultimate Collection of New Hampshire Jokes & Puns
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- Why did the leaf refuse to go to New Hampshire? It didn’t want to get leaf-peeped!
- What do you call a happy person in New Hampshire? Content-cord!
- I tried to explain New Hampshire’s beauty to someone, but they just didn’t get it. Guess you could say they were… Granite-d.
- I just opened a granite countertop business in Concord. I’m hoping for solid profits.
- Why are New Hampshire winters so long? Because they’re trying to make up for lost summer thyme!
- My therapist told me I have a preoccupation with New Hampshire. I told him, “Live Free or Die, trying to fix it!”
- What’s a New Hampshirite’s favorite type of music? Live Free or Die-sco!
- I saw a squirrel wearing a tiny Live Free or Die t-shirt. It was absolutely nuts!
- A tourist asked me, “What’s the best thing about New Hampshire?” I replied, “Leaving!” Just kidding, of course. The foliage is the best.
- Why did the mountain climber bring a ladder to Mount Washington? He wanted to reach new heights!
- Two hikers are lost in the White Mountains. One says, “I think we’re going in circles.” The other replies, “I know, I recognize that same moose we saw an hour ago!”
- Heard about the new ice cream flavor in New Hampshire? It’s called “Granite Crunch.” It’s really hard to swallow.
- What do you call a fake noodle in Nashua? An impasta!
- I’m writing a book about New Hampshire birds. It’s talon-ted.
- A man from Massachusetts visits New Hampshire and says, “Wow, you guys take ‘Live Free or Die’ seriously!” The New Hampshirite replies, “Yeah, especially when it comes to taxes.”
New Hampshire Jokes About the White Mountains
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The White Mountains are a huge part of New Hampshire’s identity, providing breathtaking scenery and endless opportunities for outdoor adventure. This makes them ripe for humor. Jokes about hiking, tourists, and the unpredictable weather are common fodder for Granite State comedians. Get ready to laugh at the expense of these majestic peaks!
- Why did the White Mountain climber bring a ladder? He wanted to reach new peaks!
- I tried to hike Mount Washington in flip-flops. Turns out, that was a monumental mistake.
- What do you call a grumpy mountain? Mount Miserable!
- Heard about the hiker who got lost in the Whites? He was peak-ing in the wrong direction!
- My therapist said I need more nature. So, I’m summit-ting my problems to Mount Washington.
- Why did the hiker break up with Mount Washington? She felt like she was being taken for granite!
- I’m writing a book about the White Mountains. It’s a real uphill struggle.
- What’s a mountain’s favorite type of music? Rock and roll!
- Two mountains are talking. One asks, “Are you feeling alright?” The other says, “I’m feeling peaky.”
- Did you hear about the avalanche on Mount Washington? It was snow joke!
New Hampshire Jokes Highlighting State Pride
New Hampshire’s independent spirit and unique culture are sources of immense pride for its residents. Jokes that celebrate the state’s motto, “Live Free or Die,” its quirky traditions, and its distinctive character are always a hit. These jokes showcase the love and loyalty that Granite Staters feel for their home.
- New Hampshire: We don’t care how you do it in the other 49 states.
- Why did New Hampshire get an award? Because it was outstanding in its field of freedom!
- I’m not saying New Hampshire is independent, but our state bird is a purple finch, and we do what we want.
- What’s New Hampshire’s favorite exercise? Tax evasion! (Just kidding… mostly.)
- Live Free or Die… trying to find parking in Portsmouth.
- New Hampshire: Where the leaves change color and so do your political opinions.
- I identify as a New Hampshirite. My pronouns are Live/Free.
- What do you call a New Hampshirite superhero? The Granite Guardian!
- New Hampshire: We’re not perfect, but at least we’re not Massachusetts.
- My blood type is New Hampshire Positive.
New Hampshire Puns About New England Neighbors
Friendly rivalries are a staple of New England life, and New Hampshire is no exception. Jokes that poke fun at Massachusetts, Maine, Vermont, and other nearby states are a fun way to engage in some lighthearted ribbing. These puns emphasize the unique qualities that set New Hampshire apart from its neighbors.
- Maine-ly because I love New Hampshire, I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else.
- Vermont-ly, I think New Hampshire has better skiing.
- Massachusetts tried to steal our “Live Free or Die” motto. They were Mass-taken!
- Rhode Island? More like Rhode-iculous-ly small.
- Connecticut? More like Connecti-cut me off in traffic!
- I’m Maine-taining that New Hampshire’s fall foliage is superior.
- Vermont gets all the maple syrup hype, but New Hampshire’s is just as sweet!
- You could say Massachusetts is a Mass-ive disappointment compared to New Hampshire.
- Rhode Island is so small, it’s practically Rhode-iculous!
- New Hampshire: We’re not Mass-querading as something we’re not.
New Hampshire Jokes About the Weather
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New Hampshire’s weather is notoriously unpredictable, ranging from sweltering summers to bone-chilling winters. This volatility provides endless material for jokes. Whether it’s about snowstorms, ice storms, or sudden temperature swings, Granite Staters have learned to laugh at the whims of Mother Nature.
- New Hampshire weather: If you don’t like it, wait five minutes.
- What do you call a New Hampshire winter? Six months of shovel-y weather.
- I love New Hampshire. It’s the only place where you can experience all four seasons in one day.
- Why did the New Hampshirite move to Florida? He was snowed under!
- New Hampshire: Where the ice is slicker than your political opponent.
- What do you call a snowman in July in New Hampshire? A puddle.
- “Winter is coming.” - Every New Hampshirite, starting in August.
- I tried to make a snow angel, but it just looked like a chalk outline.
- New Hampshire weather forecast: Cloudy with a chance of denial that it’s already November.
- Why did the sun decide to visit New Hampshire in December? It heard we were feeling a little blue!
New Hampshire Jokes Referencing Politics
New Hampshire’s First in the Nation primary gives it a unique place in the political landscape. Jokes about presidential candidates, town hall meetings, and the state’s independent voters are a common form of political humor. These jokes reflect the state’s engaged citizenry and its role in shaping national debates.
- New Hampshire: Where even the squirrels have strong political opinions.
- Why did the politician move to New Hampshire? He wanted to be first!
- What’s a New Hampshire politician’s favorite game? Truth or dare (mostly dare).
- In New Hampshire, we don’t just vote; we interrogate candidates.
- What do you call a New Hampshire voter? Well-informed and skeptical.
- Why did the political joke cross the New Hampshire border? To get to the First in the Nation primary!
- I’m voting for the candidate who promises to fix New Hampshire’s potholes. That’s a platform I can get behind.
- New Hampshire: Where your vote counts… and your voice matters.
- What’s the best way to predict the presidential election? Ask a New Hampshire diner owner.
- Why did the candidate bring a shovel to New Hampshire? He heard he needed to dig for votes!
New Hampshire Puns About Local Wildlife
From moose to bears to loons, New Hampshire is home to a diverse array of wildlife. These animals provide inspiration for countless jokes and puns. These jokes and puns often involve the animals’ quirks and habits, reflecting the state’s close relationship with nature.
- I saw a moose in my yard. It was a-moose-ing experience!
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
- Why did the loon cross the road? To get to the loon-ier side!
- I tried to teach my dog to speak “New Hampshire.” He only knows how to bark-hampshire.
- What’s a squirrel’s favorite New Hampshire town? Nut-field!
- Don’t get deer caught in the headlights.
- Heard about the porcupine who got a job at the needle factory? He was really on point!
- What do you call a group of loons singing together? A loon-y tune!
- My neighbor’s cat is a real Granite State purr-triot.
- Why are New Hampshire birds so good at singing? They have granite voices!
New Hampshire Jokes About Small Town Life
New Hampshire is known for its charming small towns, each with its own unique character and quirks. Jokes about town meetings, local gossip, and the close-knit communities that define these towns are relatable and humorous. These jokes highlight the joys and challenges of living in a small-town setting.
- New Hampshire: Where everyone knows your name… and your business.
- What’s the fastest way to spread news in a New Hampshire town? Tell one person.
- Small town life: 90% gossip, 10% actual news.
- Why did the New Hampshirite stay in his small town? He liked being a big fish in a little pond!
- Town meeting: Where democracy happens… very, very slowly.
- What’s a New Hampshire town’s favorite type of party? A potluck!
- New Hampshire: Where the traffic jams consist of tractors and moose.
- Why did the New Hampshireite refuse to leave their small town? They were too attached to their roots!
- In New Hampshire, we don’t have celebrities; we have local legends.
- What’s the biggest event in a New Hampshire small town? The annual pie-eating contest!
New Hampshire Jokes Only Locals Will Understand
Some jokes are so specific to New Hampshire culture that only those who have lived in the state will truly appreciate them. These jokes often reference local landmarks, inside jokes, and unique experiences that are part of being a Granite Stater. They create a sense of shared identity and camaraderie.
- You know you’re from New Hampshire when you can pronounce Contoocook without laughing.
- What’s a New Hampshireite’s favorite coffee shop? Dunkin’s… obviously.
- Only in New Hampshire can you buy fireworks legally but not pump your own gas.
- You know you’re from New Hampshire when you’ve driven past the Old Man of the Mountain… or what’s left of it.
- What’s a New Hampshireite’s favorite pastime? Complaining about Massachusetts drivers.
- Only a true New Hampshirite knows the difference between a whoopie pie and a black and white cookie.
- You know you’re from New Hampshire when you consider flannel formal wear.
- New Hampshire: Where we measure distances in “hours” not miles.
- What’s a New Hampshireite’s favorite holiday? Tax-Free Weekend!
- You know you’re from New Hampshire when you’ve seen a presidential candidate at your local grocery store.
