· USA States Puns And Jokes · 9 min read
New York Jokes That'll Empire State Your Funny Bone!
Ready for a Big Apple-sized dose of laughter? These NYC jokes and puns are hilarious! Get ready to chuckle.
New York City, the city that never sleeps, is also a city that’s ripe for humor. From its iconic landmarks to its diverse population and, let’s face it, its quirks, the Big Apple provides endless fodder for jokes and puns. Get ready to chuckle your way through a collection of the best New York jokes, guaranteed to bring a smile to even the most jaded New Yorker.
Whether you’re a native, a tourist, or just dreaming of the Empire State, these puns and one-liners capture the essence of NYC living. Prepare for some laughs about everything from subway delays to overpriced apartments.
New York Jokes That’ll Empire State Your Funny Bone!
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- Why did the hipster move to Brooklyn? He heard it was cool before it was cool.
- I tried to explain New York to someone who’d never been. It was a long Island.
- What do you call a fake noodle in Little Italy? An Impasta.
- I told my therapist I’m addicted to the Staten Island Ferry. He said, “You need to find a way to get over it.”
- Meme: Image of a rat carrying a pizza slice with the caption: “New York’s Official Mascot”
- Why did the Statue of Liberty get a parking ticket? She was standing for freedom… and blocking a fire hydrant.
- What’s a New Yorker’s favorite type of music? Hip-Hop! (Because they always know what’s up.)
- Joke: A tourist asks a New Yorker for directions. The New Yorker replies, “Sure, walk three blocks uptown, make a left, then a right, then another left, then just ask someone else. I got no idea!”
- Meme: Picture of a crowded subway car with the caption: “Personal space? Never heard of her.”
- Why did the bagel break up with the cream cheese? They said it was too clingy, and they needed some space in the spread.
- What do you call a group of musical rats in NYC? The Rat Pack.
- Joke: Two bagels are walking down the street. One says to the other, “I feel really crummy.” The other bagel replies, “Don’t worry, you’ll get butter.”
- Meme: A photoshopped image of the Empire State Building wearing a tiny beanie. Caption: “Staying warm in NYC.”
- I just saw a pigeon wearing a tiny Yankees hat. It was fowl play.
- What’s a New Yorker’s favorite exercise? Jumping to conclusions on the subway.
New York Jokes: A Subway Series of Silliness
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New York’s subway system is a breeding ground for bizarre encounters and shared misery, making it prime comedic fodder. From crowded cars to questionable smells, the subway provides endless material for jokes. Get ready to laugh (or cry) about the joys and frustrations of underground travel in the Big Apple.
- Why did the bagel go to the subway? Because it wanted to get a-round!
- My therapist told me to embrace my mistakes. So, I took the A train to Brooklyn instead of the C.
- What do you call a subway car full of musicians? A jam session!
- I tried to explain to a tourist how to use the MetroCard. It was a token effort.
- Why did the comedian bomb on the subway platform? He couldn’t get a rise out of the crowd!
- The subway is so crowded, personal space is just a myth. I’m pretty sure I’m wearing someone else’s hair right now.
- I saw a rat carrying a pizza slice on the subway. New York, you never cease to amaze me.
- What’s the difference between a New Yorker and a tourist on the subway? The New Yorker is actively avoiding eye contact.
- Heard they’re adding a new subway line: The “I’m Late” Express.
- My subway stop is so far underground, I think I’m closer to hell than Times Square.
New York Puns: Statue of Liberty Laughs
Lady Liberty, that green icon of freedom, offers endless opportunities for puns! From her torch to her tablet, there’s no shortage of ways to play on words associated with this majestic monument. Prepare for some illuminating humor as we light up your day with Statue of Liberty puns.
- I’m feeling very statuesque today!
- Liberty’s a statue-sque choice for a monument!
- Don’t take liberty with my jokes.
- Having a liberty-rific day!
- She really torched the competition!
- I have a monumental amount of work to do.
- That joke was a stone-cold classic!
- I’m independently wealthy, thanks to my pun skills.
- I’m taking the reigns of this pun section.
- Let’s torch some more jokes!
New York Jokes: Broadway’s Best Punchlines
Broadway, the heart of American theatre, is full of drama, music, and… jokes! From backstage mishaps to demanding divas, the world of show business provides endless material for comedic takes. Get ready for a standing ovation of laughter as we present Broadway’s best punchlines.
- Why did the actor bring a ladder to the audition? Because he heard the roles were high!
- What do you call a theatre critic who can’t write? Stage fright!
- Why did the musical director break up with the singer? They weren’t on the same note.
- What’s a ghost’s favorite play? Hamlet!
- I tried to get tickets to Hamilton, but they were non-refundable-ton.
- My acting career peaked when I played a tree. It was a very supportive role.
- Heard about the new musical about taxes? It’s got great returns!
- What’s a pirate’s favorite play? ARRRsenic and Old Lace!
- Why did the stage manager get a parking ticket? He left his car in a no-parking zone because he didn’t want to miss the opening ACT.
- I went to a musical about punctuation last night. It had its highs and lows, but overall it was exclamatory!
New York Puns: Central Park Chuckles
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Central Park, a green oasis in the concrete jungle, is a treasure trove of puns waiting to be unearthed. From its trees to its ponds, its benches to its bridges, the park provides ample opportunity for wordplay. Get ready to leaf through some hilarious Central Park chuckles.
- I’m park-tically dying laughing!
- Let’s leaf all our worries behind in Central Park.
- Feeling pond-erful today!
- I’m rooted in my love for Central Park.
- Don’t be a bench potato, get outside!
- This park is really growing on me.
- I’m bridging the gap between jokes and puns.
- Let’s spring into action with these puns!
- I’m squirrel-ing away these jokes for later.
- Central Park is a tree-t to visit.
New York Jokes: Apartment Hunting Humor
Apartment hunting in New York is a notoriously stressful and often absurd experience. From microscopic studios to exorbitant rents, the struggles of finding a place to live in the city are ripe for comedic exploitation. Prepare to laugh (or cry) at the realities of NYC apartment hunting.
- I found a great apartment in NYC… it’s just a 4-hour commute and costs more than my soul.
- What do you call a New York apartment with a view? A miracle!
- How do you know if you’re a true New Yorker? You know where to hide your valuables in your tiny apartment.
- I saw a cockroach wearing a tiny top hat in my apartment. He’s paying rent now.
- My apartment is so small, I have to go outside to change my mind.
- Why did the couple break up after moving in together in NYC? They ran out of closet space.
- What’s the best way to get a rent-controlled apartment? Time travel.
- I asked my landlord to fix the leak. He said it’s a “water feature.”
- My apartment is so noisy, I can hear my neighbor’s dreams. And he’s dreaming about tap dancing.
- You know you’re desperate for an apartment when you start considering living in a storage unit.
New York Puns: Pizza and Pretzel Puns
New York City is famous for its pizza and pretzels, so it’s only natural that these iconic snacks inspire some cheesy puns. From foldable slices to salty twists, the culinary landscape of NYC is a fertile ground for wordplay. Get ready to dough-light in these pizza and pretzel puns.
- I love New York pizza, it’s slice above the rest!
- Let’s twist and shout about these pretzel puns!
- Don’t be salty if you don’t get these puns.
- I’m dough-termined to make you laugh!
- I’m feeling pepperoni-fic today!
- These puns are pretz-elent!
- I have a crust on you for these jokes!
- Let’s bake some more puns!
- I’m saucy and I know it!
- These puns are knead-ed in your life.
New York Jokes: Tourist Trap Tickles
New York City is full of tourist traps, from overpriced souvenirs to crowded attractions. These predictable pitfalls provide endless comedic fodder for those who know the city well. Get ready to laugh at the expense of unsuspecting visitors with these tourist trap tickles.
- Why did the tourist get lost in Times Square? Because they forgot to bring their sense of direction (and common sense).
- What do you call a tourist who buys a “I Heart NY” t-shirt? Predictable!
- How many tourists does it take to change a lightbulb in Times Square? Too many to count, they’re all taking selfies.
- What’s a tourist’s favorite Broadway show? The one with the cheapest tickets.
- I saw a tourist trying to hail a yellow school bus. Classic.
- Why did the tourist bring a ladder to the Empire State Building? Because they heard the views were high!
- What’s the difference between a New Yorker and a tourist? The New Yorker knows how to avoid Times Square at all costs.
- How do you spot a tourist in a crowd? They’re the ones wearing socks with sandals.
- I overheard a tourist asking where to find the “real” Statue of Liberty. Bless their heart.
- What’s a tourist’s favorite animal in Central Park? The carriage horse (because they get a free ride).
New York Puns: A Taxi Cab of Comedy
New York’s yellow taxi cabs are an iconic part of the city’s landscape, and they’re also a great source of puns. From traffic jams to chatty drivers, the taxi experience offers plenty of opportunities for wordplay. Get ready to ride along with this taxi cab of comedy.
- I’m taxi-n it to the top with these puns!
- Don’t be fare-ful, these puns are harmless.
- This joke is really driving me crazy!
- Let’s steer clear of bad puns.
- I’m in the driver’s seat when it comes to comedy.
- This joke is running on fumes.
- I’m wheely excited about these puns!
- Let’s honk if you like these puns.
- These puns are auto-matically hilarious!
- I’m cab-solutely loving these puns.