Knicks Knockout: Hilarious Jokes & Puns for Die-Hard Fans

Knicks fans, are you ready for some laughter that’s almost as good as a buzzer-beater win? Whether you’re riding high after a victory or commiserating after a tough loss, a good joke can always lighten the mood. Get ready to dribble into a world of hoops humor with the best New York Knicks jokes and puns!

We’ve scoured the court (and the internet) to bring you a slam dunk collection of knee-slappers that’ll have you chuckling louder than Spike Lee courtside. From clever wordplay to hilarious takes on the team’s history, this post is your go-to source for all things Knicks-related comedy.

So, tighten your sneakers, grab your orange and blue, and prepare for a full court press of puns and jokes that are sure to score big with any Knicks fan. Let’s get this laugh game started!

Knicks Knockout: Hilarious Jokes & Puns for Die-Hard Fans

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• Why did the Knicks fan bring a ladder to the game? Because he heard they were trying to reach for the playoffs!
• I tried to explain the Knicks’ losing streak to my friend. He said, “Sounds like a real… Knickerbocker glory of a mess!”
• What do you call a Knicks player who’s a good singer? A Melo-dious Anthony! (Okay, maybe not current, but classic!)
• Heard the Knicks traded for a psychic? Turns out he only predicted more losses.
• Why are Knicks fans so good at gardening? They’re used to dealing with weeds (opposing teams, hopefully!).
• Two Knicks fans walk into a bar. One says, “I’ll take a double shot of hope.” The other says, “Make it a triple, we’re gonna need it.”
• What’s a Knicks fan’s favorite type of music? Blues.
• My therapist told me to stop fixating on the Knicks. Now I have… issues.
• Did you hear about the new Knicks-themed restaurant? The main course is always a rebuild.
• What’s the difference between the Knicks and a pirate? One is a fearsome marauder, and the other… well, neither wins much lately.
• A Knicks fan, a Lakers fan, and a Celtics fan are all trapped on a desert island. They find a magic lamp. The genie grants each one wish. The Lakers fan wishes to be back in LA, the Celtics fan wishes to be back in Boston, and the Knicks fan wishes the other two were back on the island so they could all complain about their teams together.
• Why did the Knicks cross the road? To get to the lottery!
• What do you call a Knicks player who’s always late? Perpetually Brunson-ing time.
• I’m starting a support group for Knicks fans. We’ll call it “Knicks Anonymous”… because nobody wants to admit they’re a fan.
• A Knicks fan walks into a bakery and asks for a “winning streak.” The baker replies, “Sorry, we’re all out. But we have plenty of false hope and disappointment!”

New York Knicks Jokes About Losing Streaks

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The Knicks have a long and storied history, but sometimes, that history includes some… extended periods without wins. These jokes tap into the shared experience of Knicks fans who’ve weathered those droughts, finding humor in the frustration and occasional absurdity of watching a losing streak unfold.

• What do the Knicks and the Titanic have in common? They both look good until they hit the ice.
• I’m not saying the Knicks are bad, but my grandma has a better assist-to-turnover ratio. And she’s dead.
• The Knicks’ losing streak is so long, I’m starting to think they’re doing it on purpose for better draft picks… oh wait.
• What’s the Knicks’ favorite song? “All By Myself.”
• I’ve started referring to Knicks games as “performance art.” It’s less painful that way.
• Doctor: “I’m sorry, you have a rare condition called ‘Knicks fan’.” Me: “How long do I have?” Doctor: “Another season.”
• Why did the Knicks cross the road? To get to the lottery.
• My therapist told me to find a new hobby. I said, “But I like being a Knicks fan!” He said, “That’s the problem.”
• I tried to explain the Knicks’ losing streak to my dog. He just looked at me with pity.
• Breaking news: The Knicks have broken their losing streak! …in Monopoly.

New York Knicks Puns Based on Player Names

Player names provide fertile ground for puns, and the Knicks roster, past and present, offers plenty of opportunities. These puns playfully twist names like Julius Randle, RJ Barrett, and even legends like Patrick Ewing into humorous wordplay, capitalizing on their on-court actions or personalities.

• Julius Randle needs to Randle his turnovers better!
• Is RJ Barrett a good player? Jury’s still Barrett.
• I’m not sure what’s worse, the Knicks’ defense or my Patrick Ewing impression. It’s ‘Ewing-believable’!
• Obi Toppin’ the charts… of players who need more playing time.
• Did you hear about the Knicks’ new point guard? He’s really Rose to the occasion!
• I tried to make a joke about Carmelo Anthony, but it was Melo-dramatic.
• What does Jalen Brunson like to drink? Brunson Tea!
• I saw Spike Lee at the game. He was definitely having a Spike-tacular time!
• Immanuel Quickley needs to Quickley learn to shoot better!
• The Knicks’ offense is a Knox-out… of the playoffs.

New York Knicks Jokes About James Dolan

James Dolan, the Knicks’ owner, is a figure of much discussion (and often, criticism) among fans. These jokes poke fun at his management style, perceived lack of basketball expertise, and other quirks, reflecting the frustration and sometimes resigned amusement of Knicks fans regarding the team’s leadership.

• What’s James Dolan’s favorite position? Owner. (And maybe point guard, based on some decisions.)
• I heard James Dolan is thinking of firing the coach… and hiring himself.
• Why did James Dolan bring a ladder to the Knicks game? He heard they needed to improve their rebounding.
• James Dolan’s new strategy: If you can’t beat them, buy them… and then trade them away in two years.
• What’s James Dolan’s favorite type of music? Anything but the sound of winning.
• I asked James Dolan for advice on how to run a successful basketball team. He just stared blankly.
• James Dolan’s New Year’s resolution: Learn the rules of basketball.
• James Dolan just announced a new team mascot: a golden goose. For obvious reasons.
• What’s the difference between James Dolan and a bad haircut? A bad haircut eventually grows out.
• I saw James Dolan at a magic show. He asked the magician to make the Knicks disappear… from the lottery.

New York Knicks Puns About MSG (Madison Square Garden)

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Madison Square Garden, the “World’s Most Famous Arena,” is synonymous with the Knicks. These puns play on the arena’s name, its legendary status, and the overall experience of attending a Knicks game at MSG, capturing the excitement, history, and sometimes the disappointment associated with the venue.

• Going to a Knicks game is always a Garden Party… especially when they lose.
• MSG should be renamed “Madison Square Disappointment.” It’s more accurate.
• What’s the difference between MSG and a good pizza? You can always count on a good pizza.
• I’m not sure what’s more expensive, a Knicks ticket at MSG or a mortgage.
• MSG: Where dreams go to die… and popcorn costs $15.
• Heard they’re adding a new section to MSG: the “Hope Springs Eternal” section. It’s always sold out.
• Why did the Knicks get lost in MSG? Because it’s a-maze-ing place… to lose games.
• I went to MSG and asked for a winning season. They said, “Sorry, we’re all out of seasons.”
• What’s MSG’s favorite holiday? Losers’ Day!
• MSG: The only place where you can pay $100 to watch the Knicks lose by 20.

New York Knicks Jokes Referencing Rival Teams

The Knicks have long-standing rivalries with teams like the Boston Celtics, Brooklyn Nets, and Miami Heat. These jokes capitalize on the competitive spirit (and sometimes, the animosity) between these teams, highlighting the Knicks’ struggles against their rivals and the shared humor in those matchups.

• Why don’t the Celtics and Knicks play poker? Too many championships on the table. (For one team, anyway.)
• What do you call a Nets fan with a winning record? A liar.
• I’m convinced the Miami Heat have a secret pact with the Knicks to always win.
• Did you hear the Nets bought a championship? Turns out, it was just a participation trophy.
• What’s the difference between the Knicks and the Celtics? About 17 championships.
• I saw a Heat fan and a Knicks fan arguing about which team was better. It was a short argument.
• The Knicks’ strategy against the Celtics: hope they trip.
• What did the Knicks say to the Nets after beating them? “Don’t worry, there’s always next year… for us to lose in the lottery.”
• Why did the Knicks apply for a job at the Nets’ arena? They heard they were hiring a lot of empty seats.
• My favorite activity: watching the Knicks lose to the Sixers. (Just kidding… mostly.)

New York Knicks Puns About the Draft

The NBA Draft is a crucial event for rebuilding teams, and the Knicks have certainly had their share of draft picks. These puns poke fun at the Knicks’ drafting history, their sometimes questionable selections, and the overall uncertainty and hope that surrounds the draft process for fans.

• The Knicks’ draft strategy: draft first, ask questions later… much, much later.
• This year’s draft is really important. It could be the Knicks’ ticket to… another lottery pick.
• I have a feeling the Knicks are going to “draft” the wrong player again.
• What’s the Knicks’ favorite draft position? Lottery.
• I’m not saying the Knicks are bad at drafting, but they once drafted a player who turned out to be a figment of someone’s imagination.
• This year, the Knicks are hoping to “draft” a franchise player. Fingers crossed… and toes.
• The Knicks’ draft history is a real “draft” dodger.
• What did the Knicks say to their first-round pick? “Welcome to purgatory!”
• The Knicks are hoping this year’s draft will be a “draft” of fresh air.
• My doctor told me to avoid disappointment, so I’m skipping the NBA Draft. (Knicks fan problems.)

New York Knicks Jokes About Coaching Changes

The Knicks have a history of frequent coaching changes, often leading to instability and uncertainty. These jokes humorously address the revolving door of coaches, the high expectations placed on them, and the challenges of leading a team with a long-standing history of underperformance.

• The Knicks’ head coaching position is more like a revolving door than a job.
• What’s the Knicks’ coach’s favorite song? “Another One Bites the Dust.”
• How many Knicks coaches does it take to win a championship? No one knows.
• The Knicks’ coaching situation is a real “coach” potato.
• I heard the Knicks are looking for a new coach. Must be willing to work long hours and accept constant criticism.
• The Knicks’ coaching search is like a reality TV show: full of drama and questionable decisions.
• What’s the difference between a Knicks coach and a pizza? A pizza can be delivered.
• The Knicks’ new coach promised to turn the team around. We’ll see if he can “coach” it.
• The Knicks’ coaching changes are so frequent, I’ve lost track of who’s in charge.
• My New Year’s resolution: Keep track of who the Knicks’ coach is this year.

New York Knicks Puns About Knicks Mascots

The New York Knicks have a couple of mascots, most notably Spike, that add some fun and energy to the games. These puns are focused on the humor derived from the role of the mascots, including their performances, and the general lightheartedness they bring to the often-frustrating experience of being a Knicks fan.

• Spike is really spiking up the morale… even when they lose.
• I heard Spike auditioned for a role in a horror movie. They said he was too Knicks-centric.
• What does Spike like to eat? Knicks-nacks!
• Spike’s been practicing his dance moves. He’s really trying to “mascot” the routine.
• I asked Spike for the secret to winning. He just shrugged and pointed at the scoreboard.
• Spike is the best player on the Knicks…in terms of mascotting!
• Spike’s so good at cheering, he could “mascot” any team to victory… except maybe the Knicks.
• What’s Spike’s favorite place to shop? The Mas-cottage!
• Spike’s been studying basketball strategy. He’s hoping to “mascot” his way into the coaching staff.
• Spike’s New Year’s resolution: Figure out how to make the Knicks win. (Good luck, Spike!)