Flush With Laughter: The Ultimate Collection of Toilet Jokes & Puns

Ready to flush away your boredom? We’re diving headfirst into the wonderful world of toilet humor! Prepare yourself for a deluge of puns, one-liners, and jokes that are guaranteed to make you chuckle, even if they’re a little… crappy.

From bathroom banter to porcelain punchlines, we’re covering all things toilet-related in this hilarious compilation. Whether you’re looking to lighten the mood or just need a good laugh, get ready to wipe away those frowns!

So, buckle up (or should we say, flush down?) as we present the best toilet jokes and puns to ever grace the internet. Just try not to laugh too hard, you might… well, you know.

Flush With Laughter: The Ultimate Collection of Toilet Jokes & Puns

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• Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!
• I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised. Then I realized, it was a commode-ication problem.
• What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato! (Okay, barely toilet-related, but picture it on the toilet. Work with me.)
• Meme: Image of a toilet with a sign that says “Out of Order.” Caption: “Well, crap.”
• Why did the plumber bring a ladder to the toilet? He heard it was going to the septic tank!
• Two rolls of toilet paper are hanging in the bathroom. One says to the other, “Are you alright? You look flushed!”
• Joke: My therapist told me I have irrational fears. I told him I was afraid I’d find a monster in my toilet. He said, “That’s just silly.” I said, “What if it’s a commode-o dragon?”
• Meme: Drakeposting meme. Drake approving: Regularly flushing the toilet. Drake disapproving: Thinking the toilet will flush itself.
• What’s a toilet’s favorite type of music? Flush metal!
• I walked into a public restroom and saw someone trying to flush a deck of cards. I asked, “What are you doing?” He replied, “I’m flushing the royal flush!”
• Meme: Image of a sad toilet. Caption: “When you realize you’re just a glorified water slide for poop.”
• I used to be addicted to cleaning toilets. But I flushed that habit down the drain.
• Why did the toilet get arrested? For public indecency!
• Meme: Image of a toilet overflowing. Caption: “My life right now.”
• Heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil. I guess you could say he finally… derived some relief.

Toilet Jokes: The Throne Room of Humor

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Welcome to the throne room of humor, where potty jokes reign supreme! These jokes aren’t always sophisticated, but they’re guaranteed to elicit a chuckle, a groan, or maybe even a snort of laughter. Prepare to be flushed with amusement as we explore the world of toilet-themed jokes.

• Why did the toilet paper cross the road? To get to the other wipe!
• I tried to write a book about toilets, but it just wouldn’t flush out.
• What do you call a sad toilet? A commode-ity.
• My therapist told me my toilet obsession is a sign of my anxiety. I told her she was full of crap.
• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down… just like my toilet seat after my husband uses it.
• What’s a toilet’s favorite game? Stoolball.
• I told my wife I was worried about the toilet. She said, “Why? Is it backed up?” I said, “No, I think it’s feeling drained.”
• Ever notice how bathroom scales always lie? That’s because they’re always full of… wait for it… #2.
• The toilet said to the plumber, “You look flushed!”
• I’m not saying my aim is bad, but I once missed the toilet and hit the dishwasher. My wife was not amused.

Toilet Puns: Flushing Out the Funniest Lines

Get ready to be flushed with laughter with these toilet puns! From clever wordplay to silly scenarios, these puns are designed to tickle your funny bone and leave you in stitches. Prepare for a deluge of potty-themed puns that are sure to make you smile, or at least roll your eyes.

• I’m feeling a bit toilet-papered today.
• This toilet humor is really going down the drain.
• Don’t get bogged down in the details!
• I’m so relieved I found the bathroom.
• That’s a craptastic idea.
• I have to go to the bathroom, nature is calling. I must answer the call of doodie.
• He’s a real potty mouth.
• I’m totally wiped out.
• I’m not sure about this toilet, it seems a bit sketchy.
• Let’s just say my last meal didn’t agree with me. Things are getting pretty backed up.

Classic Toilet Jokes: Tried and True Humor

These are the jokes that have stood the test of time, the ones your grandpa told you, the ones you’ll tell your kids (maybe). Classic toilet jokes are like a reliable flush - dependable and always good for a laugh. These jokes are the cornerstones of bathroom humor.

• Why did the man fall down the well? Because he couldn’t see that well.
• What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.
• What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
• What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
• Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
• What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
• Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up!
• What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
• Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
• What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!

Toilet Humor for Kids: Clean and Corny Jokes

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Keep it clean, keep it corny! Toilet humor for kids is all about silly scenarios and playful potty talk that won’t make anyone blush. These jokes are perfect for sharing with the little ones and are guaranteed to get them giggling. It’s all about age-appropriate bathroom fun.

• What do you call a toilet in space? A pooniverse!
• Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!
• What did the toilet say to the plunger? You look flushed!
• What’s a toilet’s favorite type of music? Flush metal!
• Why was the toilet so sad? It was feeling a little drained!
• What do you call a toilet that tells jokes? A commode-ian!
• Where do toilets go on vacation? The potty-ibbean!
• What do you call a polite toilet? Well-mannered!
• How does a toilet greet you? Pleased to seat you!
• What’s a toilet’s favorite vegetable? Poopeas!

Toilet One-Liners: Quick and Witty Bathroom Banter

Need a quick laugh? These toilet one-liners are the perfect solution. Short, sweet, and to the point, these witty quips are ideal for sharing in the bathroom or anywhere you need a quick dose of humor. These are the haikus of the toilet joke world.

• I’m outstanding in my field… of bathroom humor.
• Don’t be a toilet hog!
• Talk about a crappy situation.
• I’m flushed with excitement!
• This is a real drain on my energy.
• I’m having a real number two kind of day.
• My aim is questionable.
• Feeling a little down in the dumps.
• Just trying to keep things flowing.
• I’m a bathroom break enthusiast.

Toilet Puns About Plumbing: A Drain on Your Funny Bone

Time to delve into the depths of plumbing puns! These jokes are all about pipes, plungers, and everything in between. Prepare for a torrent of puns that might make you groan, but will definitely make you smile. This is where the truly dedicated punsters shine.

• I find plumbing puns very a-pipe-ling.
• Don’t get your pipes crossed!
• This plumbing job is a real pain in the drain.
• I’m just going with the flow.
• He’s a real pipe dream.
• The plumber was feeling flushed with success.
• This situation is really backing up.
• Let’s not get bogged down in the details of the plumbing.
• I’m trying to unclog my creativity.
• He’s got a lot of potential, but he’s a bit of a drip.

Toilet Jokes: Beyond the Bathroom Door

Toilet jokes aren’t just for the bathroom! These jokes can be adapted and used in various situations to lighten the mood and add a touch of humor to everyday life. From awkward silences to boring meetings, a well-placed toilet joke can break the ice.

• My life is like a toilet. It’s always taking crap.
• I’m going to flush away all my worries.
• That idea really went down the drain.
• Time to clean up this mess.
• I’m feeling drained after that meeting.
• Let’s get this done and flushed out.
• Time to take a break and de-stress (or de-tress).
• This situation is a real stinker.
• I need to wipe the slate clean.
• This is a load of crap!

The Best Toilet Jokes: Our Top Picks for a Laugh

We’ve sifted through the sewage and selected the cream of the crop! These are our top picks for the best toilet jokes, guaranteed to elicit a laugh. These jokes are the gold standard of potty humor, the ones you’ll want to remember and share with everyone.

• I told my toilet I was constipated…it didn’t give a crap.
• What do you call a toilet that’s always on time? Punctual!
• What’s a ghost’s favorite room in the house? The bathroom!
• Why did the toilet paper blush? Because it saw the bottom!
• A man walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia. The librarian whispers, “They’re right behind you!”
• I just saw my math teacher holding graph paper. I think he’s plotting something.
• I hate it when I lose my car keys… but I’m always happy when I find them in the toilet.
• My house is so clean, I have to take my shoes off before I enter the bathroom.
• I went to a seafood disco last night and pulled a mussel.
• I just ordered a chicken and an egg online. I’ll let you know which came first.