Team Edward or Team Laughs? Hilarious Twilight Jokes & Puns!

Are you Team Edward, Team Jacob, or just Team Hilarious? Whether you’re a die-hard Twihard or a casual fan, one thing’s for sure: the Twilight saga is ripe for comedic gold. Get ready to unleash your inner vampire (or werewolf!) with a collection of the best Twilight jokes and puns that are sure to make you sparkle with laughter.

From Bella’s klutziness to Edward’s brooding stares, there’s no shortage of material to poke fun at. So, grab your garlic (just in case), settle in, and prepare for a night of supernatural silliness. We’ve compiled a list of puns and jokes that even a newborn vampire could appreciate.

Team Edward or Team Laughs? Hilarious Twilight Jokes & Puns!

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• Why did Edward Cullen get a bad grade in history? He was living in the past! (Meme: Image of Edward looking bored in a classroom with the caption “History is so 1918.“)
• What’s Bella Swan’s favorite type of music? Rock-a-Bella! (Meme: Bella’s face photoshopped onto a rock album cover.)
• I tried to write a Twilight fanfic, but it was awful. I guess you could say it was… twilightfully bad!
• Why did Jacob Black break up with Bella? He said she was always pining for someone else! (Meme: Image of Jacob looking sad with the caption “Always a bridesmaid, never the bride.“)
• What do you call a vampire who’s also a comedian? A fang-tastic entertainer!
• Edward: “Bella, I can read your mind.” Bella: “Prove it.” Edward: “You’re thinking… ‘He’s so sparkly!‘” (Meme: Edward and Bella looking at each other, with sparkles photoshopped around Edward.)
• Why did the vampire go to the dentist? For a bite cleaning!
• I’m reading Twilight. It’s really… enthralling!
• Did you hear about the vampire who became a vegetarian? He said he couldn’t stand the steaks! (Meme: A vampire looking disgusted at a steak.)
• What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday? Fangs-giving! (Meme: A vampire wearing a pilgrim hat.)
• Bella: “Edward, what do you want for dinner?” Edward: “Just your blood… I mean, a salad!” (Meme: Edward looking awkward with a salad.)
• Why don’t vampires like to gamble? Too many stakes involved!
• Bella walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia. The librarian whispers, “They’re right behind you!” (Meme: Bella looking nervously over her shoulder in a library.)
• Two vampires are walking down the street. One says to the other, “Want to grab a bite?” The other replies, “Sure, where should we stake out?”
• A vampire goes to a blood bank. The attendant says, “Come on in! We’ve been dying to see you!” (Meme: A vampire excitedly entering a blood bank.)

Twilight Jokes: Puns for Every Twihard

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Calling all Twihards! Prepare to sink your teeth into a collection of jokes and puns so good, they’ll make you howl with laughter. Whether you’re Team Edward, Team Jacob, or just Team I-Love-Sparkly-Vampires, these jokes are guaranteed to bring a little Forks-inspired fun into your day. Embrace the saga with humor!

• Why did Edward get a bad grade in history? He kept skipping centuries!
• What’s Bella’s favorite type of music? Swan songs!
• What do you call a vegetarian vampire? A fruit bat!
• I tried to write a Twilight fanfic, but I just couldn’t bite the bullet.
• What’s Edward’s favorite drink? Iced tea… no lemon.
• What did the vampire say to Bella? “I’m dying to meet you!”
• Why did the Cullens move to Forks? They were tired of being spotlighted.
• What’s a vampire’s favorite dessert? Vein-illa ice cream!
• Breaking Dawn: the only wedding where the bride is paler than the groom.
• My blood type is B-Positive… Just like Bella after meeting Edward.

Edward Cullen Jokes: Sparkling with Humor

Edward Cullen, the brooding, sparkling vampire with a heart of gold (or maybe cold, but still!). He’s the subject of many a meme and joke, and for good reason. His intense gaze and dramatic pronouncements are ripe for comedic exploitation. Prepare for puns as dazzling as Edward in sunlight!

• Why did Edward become a vegetarian? He couldn’t stomach the thought of hurting Bella.
• Edward: The original “I’m 17 forever” teenager.
• What does Edward use to make tea? A cullender!
• What’s Edward’s favorite type of car? An Aston Martin… sparkling clean, of course.
• Edward’s diary entry: “Dear Diary, still sparkling.”
• Edward’s dating profile: “Looking for someone with strong will power and O negative.”
• Why did Edward bring a ladder to the movies? He heard it was going to be a high-stakes drama.
• What did Edward say to Bella when she tripped? “Careful, you’ll fall for me even harder.”
• Edward’s favorite game? Hide and go sparkle!
• Edward: “I can read your mind.” Me: “Then you know how much I hate these jokes.” Edward: “I know.”

Bella Swan Jokes: A Comedic Klutz Fest

Bella Swan, the perpetually clumsy and perpetually pursued. Her awkwardness is endearing and endlessly funny. From tripping over air to attracting the attention of vampires and werewolves, Bella’s life is a comedy of errors. Get ready for jokes that are as delightfully clumsy as Bella herself!

• Bella Swan: Professional faller, amateur vampire magnet.
• Why did Bella bring a map to Forks? She always gets lost in her own thoughts… and the woods.
• Bella’s superpower? Attracting supernatural beings and random injuries.
• What did Bella say after tripping over a rock? “At least I didn’t spill my blood.”
• Bella Swan’s spirit animal? A baby deer trying to walk on ice.
• Bella’s favorite exercise? Falling. She’s a pro at it.
• Why did Bella get a bad review at her waitress job? She kept dropping things!
• Bella’s dating advice: “If you can’t find a vampire, a werewolf works too.”
• Bella’s favorite book? “How to Avoid Accidents for Dummies.” She still needs help.
• Edward: “I can’t live without you.” Bella: “I can’t live without tripping over something.”

Jacob Black Jokes: Werewolf Humor Unleashed

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Jacob Black, the hot-blooded werewolf with a heart of gold and a serious aversion to shirts. His rivalry with Edward and his unwavering loyalty to Bella provide ample material for hilarious jokes. Prepare for puns that are as hairy and heartfelt as Jacob himself!

• Why did Jacob get fired from the bakery? He kept wolfing down the pastries!
• What’s Jacob’s favorite type of pizza? Pepper-howl-i!
• Jacob Black: Proving that abs are a valid form of communication.
• Why did Jacob bring a comb to the beach? He wanted to work on his beach waves.
• Jacob’s favorite pick-up line: “You look like you need a warm body to cuddle.”
• What does Jacob call his motorcycle? The Bella-mobile.
• Jacob’s dating advice: “Be yourself… unless you’re a vampire.”
• What did Jacob say to Bella when she was cold? “I’ve got you covered… in fur.”
• Jacob’s favorite movie? “Teen Wolf.” He says it’s autobiographical.
• Jacob: “My love for Bella is like a dog’s love… loyal and occasionally drooly.”

Twilight Movie Jokes: Laughing at the Big Screen

From awkward CGI wolves to overly dramatic stares, the Twilight movies are a treasure trove of comedic gold. These jokes poke fun at the films’ most memorable moments and questionable decisions, reminding us that even the most serious vampire romances can be a source of laughter. Get ready to chuckle at the cinematic saga!

• The Twilight movies: Where the soundtrack is more dramatic than the plot.
• Why did the Twilight movie win an award for special effects? Because of Edward’s shimmering skin.
• Twilight movie logic: Vampires can run super fast but choose to walk dramatically.
• The real villain of Twilight? Whoever decided on Bella’s wig in Eclipse.
• What’s the best part of the Twilight movies? When it ends! (Just kidding… mostly.)
• Twilight: The movie that made slow-motion walking an art form.
• Why did the Twilight movies get so much hate? People were just jealous of the vampires’ flawless skin.
• What’s the difference between the Twilight books and the movies? About two hours of your life.
• Breaking Dawn: The only movie where a vampire baby is CGI’d to look like a creepy doll.
• They should have called the saga “Twilight: A Comedy of Sparkles and Bad Decisions.”

Twilight Book Jokes: Puns from Page to Screen

The Twilight books, the source material for the phenomenon, are filled with quotable lines and memorable moments ripe for comedic interpretation. From Bella’s internal monologues to Edward’s brooding declarations, these jokes celebrate the books that started it all. Prepare for jokes that are as bookish as they are hilarious!

• What’s Bella’s favorite book genre? Romantic suspense… with a side of vampires.
• Why did the Twilight books become so popular? They had a bloody good plot.
• What did Stephanie Meyer say when she finished writing Twilight? “It’s immortal!”
• Twilight book advice: Don’t judge a book by its sparkling cover.
• The best part of reading Twilight? Pretending you’re Bella and choosing between two supernatural hotties.
• Twilight: The book that taught us the importance of a good blood bank.
• Why did Bella love reading so much? She was practicing for her future as a vampire.
• What’s the most important chapter in the Twilight books? The one where Bella doesn’t trip. (Just kidding, that doesn’t exist.)
• Twilight book club rules: Sparkly attire is mandatory.
• Twilight: A book series so good, it made us forget that vampires are supposed to be scary.

Twilight Vampire Jokes: Undead and Hilarious

Vampires, the immortal creatures of the night, are inherently comedic. Their quirks, their thirst, and their dramatic lifestyles are a never-ending source of humor. These jokes embrace the undead and all their silliness, proving that even creatures of darkness can have a funny bone (or lack thereof).

• Why did the vampire go to the dentist? To improve his bite!
• What do you call a vampire who’s always late? Count Dracula-crastinator!
• What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday? Fangs-giving!
• How do vampires travel? On blood vessels!
• Why did the vampire become a comedian? He had a killer sense of humor!
• What do you call a vampire with no friends? A lone wolf… wait, wrong franchise.
• What’s a vampire’s favorite sport? Bat-minton!
• Why did the vampire go to school? He wanted to get a good stake in life!
• What’s a vampire’s favorite type of art? Blood-splatter!
• What do you say to comfort a sad vampire? “There, there… it’s okay to let it all out, just don’t drain me dry.”

Twilight Puns: Fangs for the Laughs

If you’re looking for a quick chuckle or a groan-worthy one-liner, look no further! This section is dedicated to the best Twilight-themed puns that are guaranteed to get a reaction. So, sink your teeth into these puns and get ready to laugh until your sides ache. These puns are truly fang-tastic!

• I’m feeling a little batty today.
• Don’t be such a pain in the neck.
• That joke was blood-y awful!
• I’m dying to tell you a joke.
• Let’s bite into some snacks.
• This is a grave situation.
• Feeling a little vampy today.
• Have a fang-tastic day!
• Don’t get your fangs in a twist.
• These puns are immortal!